John Carter is noteworthy for being a monumental box office failure making only $73 million on North America on a reported $350 million budget. After seeing
John Carter, I can now say that's pretty much the only thing noteworthy about it. I don't know what it is about Disney's recent live-action films (outside of the
Pirates of the Caribbean franchise), but they just tend to be awful.
John Carter does pretty much everything wrong. The story is muddled and makes absolutely no sense
. I paid complete and total attention and I could not even begin to make out what was happening throughout the movie (It wasn't just me, my friend that I watched it with said the exact same thing). On top of it being very incoherent, It was painfully slow and the acting was terrible. The 133-minute runtime felt like an eternity watching this as it plodded along at inhumanly slow pace. The especially bad and lifeless performances from the two leads Taylor Kitsch and Lilly Collins only made things worst. Kitsch has shown he can act in the past, but here he just blows it. This poor guy really can't catch a break this year between this and the failure of
Battleship (At least
Savages didn't flop), Hopefully he has better luck in the future. Collins, on the other hand, has failed to impress me in anything I've seen her in and I doubt she'll be getting anymore high-profile roles in the future. Really the only thing that's good about this movie is the effects, which isn't a surprise when you have a budget in the hundreds of millions of dollars.
John Carter is a bloated, incoherent, snore that looks nice, but it isn't even remotely entertaining. If the source material for this was really the insipiration for
Star Wars, then George Lucas is even more of a genius then I already thought.
1.5/5 Stars
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