Movie Review: Missing

 

By using computer and phone screens to help tell a story about a father trying to locate his missing daughter, 2018's Searching found a way to effectively incorporate modern technology into a solid mystery thriller movie. Despite Searching's status as a modest box office hit ($75 million worldwide off a tiny $880,000 budget), "computer screen films" never became a trend like found footage horror did following the breakout success of Paranormal Activity and seemingly the only one that gained any traction at all following its release was the 2020 Zoom seance horror flick Host. The good news about the subgenre never taking off is that it still feels relatively fresh and that preserved state of originality paired with a solid idea from the writer/director team of Nick Johnson and Will Merrick-who served as the editors on Searching-paved the way for a standalone sequel to Searching-the aptly titled Missing-to be able to mimic the success of its predecessor.

Since Johnson and Merrick had a front row seat to witness Aneesh Chaganty's creative process on Searching as they assembled the final cut with him, they knew exactly what made that film work and the first-time directors wisely abided by the "If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It" philosophy on Missing. About the only notable changes to the formula Searching followed that they made were flipping around the dynamic to have a recent high school graduate (Storm Reid) search for her mother (Nia Long) that never returned from her trip to Colombia with her new boyfriend (Ken Leung) and all of the twists builds towards a big reveal that gives way to a more suspenseful final act than the abrupt "oh shucks, guess you got me!!!"ending of the first one. Other than that, Missing just adeptly uses the seemingly limitless new tools the online-linked devices that have come out since Searching was filmed back in 2016 to track digital footprints, get real-time video footage of a certain place, etc. to help gradually build suspense and unravel different layers of a case that soon reveals itself to be far more complicated than just a couple of American tourists disappearing in a foreign country. While the proceedings are definitely a little bit silly-especially when the full truth is revealed, the excellent pace at which the mystery around the case unfolds and solid performances from Reid-who is able to capture the naive, misguided sense of fearlessness that a lot of 18-year olds would bring to navigating this dire situation and Joaquim de Almeida as the friendly gig worker Reid's character hires to complete tasks for her on the ground in Colombia keep it consistently engaging. A breaking point for "screen films" almost certainly exists, but as long as films like Missing continue to cleverly and efficiently use this style to make solid genre movies, that saturation threshold isn't going to be hit anytime soon. 

Grade: B

Movie Review: You People

Seasoned comedy writer Kenya Barris decided to get his feet wet for his inevitable pivot to directing movies several years ago by helming a handful of episodes of the multiple sitcoms (black-ish, #blackAF) he's served as a showrunner on. Well, that feature debut has arrived in the form of You People and while it's not clear at the moment if directing is something that doesn't suit him as a creative or he just wasn't quite ready to take the plunge, his efforts behind the camera are very shaky.

This culture clash romantic comedy-which he also co-wrote with star Jonah Hill-about a mixed race couple (Hill, Lauren London) whose magical whirlwind romance starts to unravel when they meet each other families (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, David Duchovny and Molly Gordon play Hill's character's family while Eddie Murphy, Nia Long and Travis Bennett play London's) regularly feels like a string of loosely connected cringe comedy sketches that end abruptly and immediately transition into the next bit without much regard for cohesion or narrative consequences. While Barris is hardly the first writer to not make the most seamless transition into directing, his handle on the gig is rough to the point where it would be fair to question if he absorbed much from watching other director's work on set or in the editing room over the years. It's really hard to fathom how somebody who's had a prominent gig in Hollywood for 25+ years could make something that's assembled in such a rough and discombobulated fashion, especially when it's telling a straightforward story that's been brought to the screen in slightly different forms dozens of times in the past.  

Now Barris does have a secret weapon that acts as a major deodorant for his fundamental filmmaking deficiencies: A cast full of gifted comedy stars that can get the most out of nearly any scenario that's thrown out there. There are moments where the script paints the lead yuck-producing trio of Hill, Louis-Dreyfus and Murphy into a corner that they can't escape from by concocting scenarios full of behavior that not even the most tone-deaf or passively racist individuals on the planet would engage in, but for the most part they're able to find humor in the pervasive awkwardness that a situation like this is still very capable of producing in the modern day and build a dynamic between the soon-to-be-blended families from vastly different backgrounds built on testiness, tension and a profound lack of mutual respect that allows the mutual discomfort to take hold in a convincing manner.

Even the back end of You People's ensemble is able to take the ball and power into the endzone when they're given a chance to shine. Sam Jay is able to pull out a handful of her solid standup bits as Hill's best friend/podcast co-host, Mike Epps shows up near the end of the movie as Murphy's brother and drops a handful of good one-liners before riding off into the sunset and cameos from Deon Cole, Andrea Savage and Felipe Esparza are crucial to selling two of the funniest scenes in the entire movie. Barris should give every single one of these actors a little bonus for their engaged, workmanlike efforts to sell this age-old predicament that sits at the center of the story and the bits that spawned off it because without them, You People would've been a DOA mess.  

You People finds just enough laughs in its modern take on Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? to forgive its poor direction, sometimes uneven writing and occasionally painfully unrealistic depiction of the type of actions white people would engage in while trying to prove they're not racist to a group of black people. Barris may be funny enough and have enough talented comic actors in his rolodex to ever make a truly terrible film, but he's going to have to dramatically improve his understanding of editing, story structure and pacing if he wants to find the same success as a director that he's enjoyed as a writer.      

Grade: B-

NFL Conference Championship Predictions

Divisional Round Record: 3-1 (Correct: Chiefs, Eagles, 49ers Incorrect: Bills)

Overall Record: 8-2

Philadelphia Eagles over San Francisco 49ers:  As tight as both Championship games are on paper, this one strikes me as even more of a coin flip than the AFC showdown. The 49ers have the best overall defense in the league and a dynamic rushing attack that could possibly exploit the Eagles vastly improved, but still far from impervious run D while the Eagles have a deep arsenal of effective pass rushers and a lockdown pass defense that could force the 49ers become one-dimensional. Ultimately, I think the defenses are both good enough to cancel each other out, which means this is likely going to come down to which offense is better equipped to score against a top-tier defense. The answer to that question for me is the Eagles. Their offense line is skilled enough to slow down Nick Bosa, Arik Armstead and Samson Ebukam upfront, the 49ers top corner Charvarius Ward is vulnerable to getting beat by tall, physical wideouts (just look what DK Metcalf did to him in the Wild Card round)-which could give AJ Brown a key advantage on the outside and the unpredictable playcalling that their offensive versatility provides them with likely won't give DeMeco Ryans the luxury of selling out to stop Jalen Hurts from using his legs to make plays, the receivers from getting open downfield or Miles Sanders or Kenneth Gainwell from popping off out of the backfield. Plus, there's been enough cracks in Brock Purdy's play over the past 2 playoff games to believe that he could struggle when taken out of the friendly confines of Levi's Stadium and put into the hornet's nest that is Lincoln Financial Field when the Eagles have a chance to advance to their 1st Super Bowl since they won the whole damn thing in 2017. 

Cincinnati Bengals over Kansas City Chiefs: Given how much public shit-talking has occurred ahead of this game, the losing team and their fans are headed towards an excruciating offseason. While the Bengals-who have been the mouthier of the 2 teams-could very well be setting themselves up for a massive letdown by doing boneheaded things like referring to Arrowhead Stadium as "Burrowhead Stadium" (they're 3-0 against the Chiefs since January 2021, although only last year's AFC Championship was in Kansas City), I just can't pick against them while Patrick Mahomes is playing with a high ankle sprain and Travis Kelce is dealing with back spasms. The Bengals banged-up offensive line held up tremendously well against the Bills last week and as long as they don't let the somehow still underrated homewrecker Chris Jones run completely wild on the interior, they should be able to keep this aggressive yet not overwhelmingly imposing front from consistently disrupting the flow of their offense and their defense appears to be dialed-in enough at every level at the moment to prevent Mahomes from killing them from inside the pocket or Isiah Paheco from jumpstarting the offense with his tough running like he did last week against the Jaguars.

Jonah Hill Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Jonah Hill-whose latest project "You People" is in select theaters now and hits Netflix on Friday. 

Jonah Hill's Filmography Ranked:

31.Hail, Caesar! (D+) 

30.Evan Almighty (C-)

29.Strange Wilderness (C+)

28.Cyrus (C+)

27.The Sitter (C+)

26.The Watch (B-)

25.Megamind (B-)

24.True Story (B)

23.The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (B)

22.Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot (B)

21.War Dogs (B)

20.The Lego Batman Movie (B)

19.I Heart Huckabees (B)

18.Funny People (B)

17.Don't Look Up (B+)

16.The Wolf of Wall Street (B+)

15.The Lego Movie (B+)

14.Get Him to the Greek (A-)

13.Sausage Party (A-)

12.Forgetting Sarah Marshall (A-)

11.Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (A-)

10.The Beach Bum (A-)

9.Accepted (A)

8.Mid90s (A)

7.Moneyball (A)

6.Grandma's Boy (A)

5.21 Jump Street (A)

4.22 Jump Street (A)

3.This is the End (A)

2.Knocked Up (A)

1.Superbad (A+)

Top Dog: Superbad (2007)

The movie that turned Hill into a star is also my clear pick for his best movie to date. As somebody who had the luxury of experiencing the insane pop this movie got in theaters on opening weekend and was in high school when this came out, Superbad will always hold an extremely special place in my heart. It's just a deeply funny movie full of great characters and quotable dialogue that also has a thorough understanding of the anxieties that kids experience as they glide through their final days of high school before setting off for the terrifying unknown of college. 

Bottom Feeder: Hail, Caesar! (2015)

If the Coen Brothers really are done making movies together, Hail, Caesar! will go down as their biggest whiff in my book. There's nothing particularly funny or dramatically compelling about their star-studded examination of Old Hollywood and that makes it the kind of unwatchable slog that is an ugly outlier in their catalog driven by smart, thrilling and/or funny films.

Most Underrated: The Beach Bum (2019)

What a beautiful oddball creation The Beach Bum is. Finding happiness in real life got gleeful nihilist Harmony Korine to smooth out his edges just enough where his signature hedonism is spiked with heavy doses of absurdist comedy, positivity and true romance. The episodic narrative puts the audience in the easygoing headspace of its stoner poet protagonist Moondog (Matthew McConaughey in a career-best performance) from start to finish and by lensing the movie through someone whose only concern is to spend his days having a good time with people he loves, Korine is able to tell a surreal, poignant story about the almost anarchistic pleasure of finding joy in a world that is driven by misery. 

Most Overrated: The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Martin Scorsese may be an untouchable Hollywood legend, but in the latter stages of his career, he's kneecapped himself repeatedly by not tightening up the runtimes of movies. While The Irishman did its best to come for the crown, The Wolf of Wall Street remains the top offender of this disheartening trend. At 2 hours and change, The Wolf of Wall Street would've been a masterfully incendiary rise-and-fall crime story that would've been ranked among Scorsese's best movies. At 3 hours even, it manages to significantly undermine its own greatness by stringing together about 10 more scenes illustrating how Jordan Belfort's out-of-control ego, substance abuse and greed/spending habits contributed to his downfall that just needlessly reenforces the points it made in the prior 2 hours.  

Exciting Showcase of His Filmmaking Abilities: Mid90s (2018)

Hill might not have the full trophy case and blockbuster helming opportunities that his fellow actors turned filmmakers Greta Gerwig and Jordan Peele earned after their terrific directorial debuts in the late 2010's, but what he did with Mid90s is similarly impressive. The veteran actor made a lively, heartfelt film that portrays teenage male friendship and the familial outcast bond that forms between skateboarders with a clear-eyed honesty and reverence that I found to be especially moving since I saw lot of myself and people that I knew growing up in the characters. 

Oscar Nomination Predictions

Tomorow morning is the Super Bowl for the small group of movie nerds that actually get invested in awards shows as the Oscar nominations are set to be announced live at 8:30 AM EST. Here are the films and individuals I expect to be competing for Hollywood's highest honors this year.  

Best Picture:

All Quiet on the Western Front 

Avatar: The Way of Water

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Elvis

Everything Everywhere All at Once

The Fabelmans

TAR

Top Gun: Maverick 

The Whale

Women Talking

Locks: The Banshees of Inisherin, Elvis, Everything Everywhere All at Once, The Fabelmans, TAR, Top Gun: Maverick

Toss-Ups: All Quiet on the Western Front, Avatar: The Way of Water, The Whale, Women Talking

Other Viable Contenders for a Nomination: Aftersun, Babylon, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Glass Onion, RRR, Triangle of Sadness, The Woman King

Best Director:

Edward Berger, All Quiet on the Western Front

Daniels, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Todd Field, TAR

Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans  

Locks: Daniels, Martin McDonagh, Steven Spielberg

Toss-Up: Edward Berger, Todd Field

Other Viable Contenders for a Nomination: James Cameron, Avatar: The Way of Water, Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun: Maverick, Baz Luhrmann, Elvis, Gina Prince-Bythewood, The Woman King, Sarah Polley, Women Talking, Charlotte Wells, Aftersun 

Best Actor:

Austin Butler, Elvis

Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Brendan Fraser, The Whale

Paul Mescal, Aftersun

Bill Nighy, Living

Locks: Austin Butler, Colin Farrell, Brendan Fraser, Bill Nighy

Toss-Up: Paul Mescal

Other Viable Contenders for a Nomination: Diego Calva, Babylon, Tom Cruise, Top Gun: Maverick, Tom Hanks, A Man Called Otto, Felix Kammerer, All Quiet on the Western Front, Gabriel LaBelle, The Fabelmans, Jeremy Pope, The Inspection, Adam Sandler, Hustle  

Best Actress:

Cate Blanchett, TAR

Viola Davis, The Woman King

Danielle Deadwyler, Till 

Ana de Armas, Blonde

Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Locks: Cate Blanchett, Michelle Yeoh

Toss-Ups: Viola Davis, Danielle Deadwyler, Ana de Armas

Other Viable Contenders for a Nomination: Andrea Riseborough, To Leslie, Margot Robbie, Babylon, Michelle Williams, The Fabelmans

Best Supporting Actor:

Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Paul Dano, The Fabelmans

Barry Keoghan, The Banshees of Inisherin

Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All at Once   

Eddie Redmayne, The Good Nurse

Locks: Brendan Gleeson, Barry Keoghan, Ke Huy Quan

Toss-Ups: Paul Dano, Eddie Redmayne

Other Viable Contenders for a Nomination: Tom Hanks, Elvis, Woody Harrelson, Triangle of Sadness, Brian Tyree Henry, Causeway, Judd Hirsch, The Fabelmans, Brad Pitt, Babylon, Albrecht Schuch, All Quiet on the Western Front, Ben Whishaw, Women Talking

Best Supporting Actress:  

Angela Bassett, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 

Hong Chau, The Whale

Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Jamie Lee Curtis, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Locks: Angela Bassett, Kerry Condon

Toss-Ups: Hong Chau, Jamie Lee Curtis, Stephanie Hsu 

Other Viable Contenders for a Nomination: Jessie Buckley, Women Talking, Dolly de Leon, Triangle of Sadness, Janelle Monae, Glass Onion, Carey Mulligan, She Said 

Best Original Screenplay:

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Everything Everywhere All at Once

The Fabelmans

TAR

Triangle of Sadness 

Best Adapted Screenplay: 

All Quiet on the Western Front

Glass Onion 

Living 

The Whale

Women Talking  

Best Animated Feature Film:

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On 

My Father's Dragon  

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Turning Red

Best Documentary Feature:

All That Breathes

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed

Descendant  

Fire of Love

Navalny 

Best International Feature Film: 

All Quiet on the Western Front

Argentina, 1985

Close

Decision to Leave

The Quiet Girl 

Best Cinematography:

All Quiet on the Western Front

Avatar: The Way of Water

Empire of Light

Elvis

Top Gun: Maverick

Best Film Editing:

All Quiet on the Western Front

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Elvis

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Top Gun: Maverick 

Best Score:

Babylon

The Banshees of Inisherin 

The Fabelmans

Gullermo del Toro's Pinocchio 

Women Talking

Best Original Song:

"Applause", Tell It Like a Woman 

"Ciao Papa", Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio 

"Hold My Hand", Top Gun: Maverick 

"Lift Me Up", Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 

"Natu Natu", RRR

Best Costume Design:

Babylon

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Elvis

Mrs. Harries Goes to Paris 

The Woman King

Best Production Design:

Avatar: The Way of Water

Babylon

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 

Elvis

The Fabelmans

Best Makeup and Hairstyling:

All Quiet on the Western Front

The Batman

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Elvis

The Whale

Best Sound:

All Quiet on the Western Front

Avatar: The Way of Water

The Batman

Elvis

Top Gun: Maverick

Best Visual Effects:

All Quiet on the Western Front

Avatar: The Way of Water

The Batman

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Top Gun: Maverick

Best Animated Short:

An Ostrich Told Me the World is Fake and I Think Believe It 

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

The Flying Sailor  

New Moon

Save Ralph 

Best Documentary Short:

38 at the Garden

The Elephant Whispers

The Flagmakers

How Do You Measure a Year?

Nuisance Bear 

Best Live Action Short:

An Irish Goodbye

Le Pupille

Nakam 

The Red Suitcase  

Warsha

NFL Divisional Round Predictions

Wild Card Record: 5-1 (Correct: 49ers, Jaguars, Bills, Giants, Bengals Incorrect: Buccaneers)

Kansas City Chiefs over Jacksonville Jaguars:

No other team in the playoff bracket in either conference could've or would've coughed up a 27-point lead in the way that the Chargers did to the Jaguars last week. That type of victory spawned by luck (Trevor Lawrence recovered nicely in the 2nd half after a nightmarish 1st half where he chucked 4 picks and failed to complete a pass of consequence until their momentum-shifting final drive right before halftime and Doug Pederson made some terrific play calls, but the Chargers' pitiful execution on both sides of the ball was ultimately the driving force behind their comeback) has a tendency to be followed up by a loss. Not to mention, the Chiefs are a better team than the Jags in nearly every area and Arrowhead Stadium is a brutal place for a youth-driven team to play this time of year.

Philadelphia Eagles over New York Giants:

Anything can happen in a divisional matchup between archrivals, especially with the level of heart that Brian Daboll has the Giants playing with right now. However, this is the kind of high leverage stage where experience and talent often dictate outcomes and that's the area where the Eagles have the biggest advantage over the Giants. Jalen Hurts getting another week to heal from his shoulder injury should be huge for the functionality of the Eagle offense and the Eagles defense is well-rounded enough to prevent Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley from wreaking havoc in the same way they did against the Vikings last week.

Buffalo Bills over Cincinnati Bengals:

Both of these teams are lucky to be here after they performed very poorly in Wild Card matchups that they were heavily favored in. While the Bills turnover woes continue to be a crippling problem that are due to actually cost them a game one of these days, they did come out of last week's game unscathed on the injury front. The Bengals weren't as fortunate as they lost their left tackle Jonah Williams to a dislocated kneecap in the 3rd quarter of their win over the Ravens. With Williams now out and Alex Cappa missing a 2nd straight game with an ankle injury, the Bengals are now down 3 of their 5 regular starters on the offensive line (right tackle La'el Collins suffered a torn ACL during the Week 16 matchup with the Patriots) and have the dream team of 2nd year pro Jackson Carman (left tackle), journeyman Max Scharping (right guard) and Hakeem Adeniji (right tackle)-who is best known for getting his lunch money taken by every member of the Rams defensive front in the Super Bowl last year-stepping in as replacements. Now, Buffalo's pass rush might not be the same without Von Miller and their #5 ranking in rush defense is deceiving as they've benefitted from winning a lot of lopsided games (their #14 ranking in YPC allowed feels more accurate), but this group still has more than enough talent along their front 7 to stuff the run and make life difficult for Joe Burrow when they have such a deeply compromised offensive line. Would it be at all shocking if Burrow powered through shit blocking yet again and made some magic happen or the Bengals takeaway-happy defense won a 2nd straight game for them against an offense that has been very prone to turning the ball over for the bulk of the season? Not at all, but there's not a worse spot to have injuries at this time of year outside of quarterback this time of year than o-line and I simply can't overlook the advantage the Bills now have without Williams and Cappa out there.  

San Francisco 49ers over Dallas Cowboys:

The Cowboys are riding high right now after winning their 1st road playoff game since 1993 and 1st playoff game period since 2018 in dominant fashion on Monday night against the Buccaneers. Going into San Francisco to play the scorching hot 49ers is going to be a little bit more of a challenge. The 49ers elite defense doesn't have the same coverage deficiencies for Dak Prescott to consistently exploit and their front is more than stout enough to keep both Ezkiel Eliott and Tony Pollard completely bottled up (a performance like the one Titans front put up in Week 17 when they held them to 87 YDS on 32 carries could easily be in the cards), and their offense isn't as stagnant or one-dimensional as the Bucs group. Plus, Kyle Shanahan is a crafty enough coach to scheme around the Cowboys biggest defensive asset (their league-best pass rush) and attack their below average ability to stop the run or pass when they're not generating pressure at a high rate. And if their offense isn't humming, the pass-rush can't get to rookie Brock Purdy and the 49ers can get their rushing attack going, it's hard to see anyway the Cowboys can come out of Santa Clara with a win. 

Quick Movie Reviews: M3GAN, House Party, Plane

M3GAN: After sitting through a lot of awards titles that either dealt with serious subject matter or were aiming for intellectual stimulation over the final weeks of 2022 and the initial few days of 2023, it felt great to sit in a theater and just bask in the warm trashy embrace of M3GAN. This campy horror dark comedy backed by Blumhouse and James Wan's Atomic Monster Productions fully celebrates the silliness of having a 4-foot tall humanoid AI doll (physically played in certain scenes by Amie Donald, voiced by Jenna Davis) become the companion of a young girl who is forced to move in with her aunt (Allison Williams-who remains a little too good at playing smug, condescending characters) in Seattle following the death of her parents in a car accident that eventually gets a little too protective of the young girl's emotional and physical safety.  

By rooting itself with a sense of humor that combines morbidity and complete randomness, M3GAN displays a keen understanding of what its target audience of young, online shitposters will find no real AI could ever replicate. There are numerous scenes here of M3GAN wreaking havoc, taunting her victims and then doing something so far out of left field that are just spectacular comedy bits for the specific set of people they are aimed at. The success of M3GAN is naturally going to spawn legions of copycats trying to make another zeitgeist-capturing horror comedy that appeals to a younger audience, but writer Akela Cooper's through understanding of how to write stuff that hits that sweet spot between sadistic and playful is a rare gift that many other scribes brought into write these films will not have. 

Where M3GAN stumbles a bit with its disheartening insistence on mirroring several major plot points (the quick progression from good-natured AI companion to bloodthirsty killing machine, the doll's first victim, the final shot) from the 2019 Child's Play reboot. This is a bit disappointing since the Chucky movie executed these beats better and Cooper just showed off the full power of her twisted creativity on Malignant. Ultimately, I'm not going to get too worked up over its heavy borrowing from another recent film when the rest of the film is so amusing and entertaining. When Universal goes back to the M3GAN well in 2025, I'll be there.   

Grade: B

House Party: Even as someone who didn't really enjoy the 1990 original (the homophobia in it is nauseating even by 90's standards), this very loose remake of House Party struggles to find reasons to justify its existence. While the three leads (Jacob Lattimore, Tosin Cole, Karen Obilom) are magnetic enough to carry a movie and there are some inspired, unexpected bits of absurdist/surrealist humor (Kid Cudi's gonzo portrayal of himself in a truly warped subplot that surfaces at the start of the final act is legitimately fantastic) baked into a film that is otherwise pretty straightlaced, music video director Calmatic-who is making his feature debut here-struggles to make the debauchery portrayed on screen feel raucous or look like the type of good time that would make an audience jealous that they weren't there in real life and the film eschews attempts at humor in favor of playing things straight far too often for something that runs only 100 minutes with credits. Maybe Calmatic will fare better on his remake of White Men Can't Jump-which is due out later this year-or maybe we'll be left with just another reboot of a 90's comedy that's only real triumph will be failing to win over fans of the original and the people who hadn't seen it.  

Grade: C

Plane: Want evidence as to why 2023 is providing the world with the first proper January movie slate since at least 2019? A Gerard Butler movie is on the dance card. Plane sees Butler playing Brody Torrance, a Scottish pilot based in Singapore who's sparsely populated New Year's Eve flight is directed into bad weather by some corporate fatcat who wanted to save on fuel costs. Bad news for Torrance and the stooge that didn't permit him to fly an alternate route: the plane gets struck by lightning shortly after takeoff and crash lands on a small island off the coast of the Philippines. Even worse news: The island is run by a brutal highly skilled militia group that has overrun the Filipino army so many times in combat that the government refuses to send troops there anymore. Now, Torrance and the convicted murderer (Mike Colter)-who might actually be an alright guy-that was part of the small group on board have to find a way off the island and keep the rest of the passengers and flight crew safe by any means necessary.

Outside of a roughly half hour stretch between the crash and the introduction of the militia that is mostly dedicated to the survivors bickering about supplies and trying to find a working phone in order to get help sent to their isolated location and a tone that is probably a bit too serious for a movie with such a brilliantly stupid title, Plane pushes the right workmanlike action thriller buttons. Butler and Colter have the charisma, grit and selflessness to make for a good unlikely hero pairing, there's some solid, tense action sequences that feature a lot of exclamation point-worthy kills (let's just say that sledgehammer Colter wields in the trailer is put to good use) and at a runtime of 107 minutes, it crosses the finish line with plenty of gas left in the tank. May Butler be allowed to make these kinds of movies until the day he retires from acting.          

Grade: B-

2022 NFL All-Pro Team

Quarterback:

1st team: Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)

2nd team: Jalen Hurts (Eagles)

Running Back:

1st team: Josh Jacobs (Raiders), Nick Chubb (Browns)

2nd team: Derrick Henry (Titans), Christian McCaffery (Panthers/49ers)

Wide Receiver:

1st team: Justin Jefferson (Vikings), Tyreek Hill (Dolphins)

2nd team: Stefon Diggs (Bills), Davante Adams (Raiders)

Tight End:

1st team: Travis Kelce (Chiefs)

2nd: George Kittle (49ers)

Tackle:

1st team: Andrew Thomas (Giants), Lane Johnson (Eagles)

2nd team: Trent Williams (49ers), Brian O'Neill (Vikings)

Guard:

1st team: Chris Lindstrom (Falcons), Joel Bitonio (Browns)

2nd team: Joe Thuney (Chiefs), Michael Onwenu (Patriots)

Center:

1st team: Creed Humphrey (Chiefs)

2nd team: Jason Kelce (Eagles)

Defensive End:

1st team: Nick Bosa (49ers), Myles Garrett (Browns)

2nd team: Maxx Crosby (Raiders), Jalean Phillips (Dolphins)

Defensive Tackle:

1st team: Chris Jones (Chiefs), Dexter Lawrence (Giants)

2nd team: Quinnen Williams (Jets), Cameron Heyward (Steelers)

Outside Linebacker:

1st team: Micah Parsons (Cowboys), Haason Reddick (Eagles)

2nd team: Matthew Judon (Patriots), Alex Highsmith (Steelers)

Inside Linebacker:

1st team: Fred Warner (49ers), T.J. Edwards (Eagles)

2nd team: Bobby Wagner (Rams), Nick Bolton (Chiefs)

Cornerback

1st team: Sauce Gardner (Jets), Patrick Surtain II (Broncos)

2nd team: Jaire Alexander (Packers), Jalen Ramsey (Rams)

Safety

1st team: Minkah Fitzpatrick (Steelers), Derwin James (Chargers)

2nd team: Tyrann Mathieu (Saints), Kamren Curl (Commanders)

Kicker

1st team: Daniel Carlson (Raiders)

2nd team: Jason Myers (Seahawks)

Punter:

1st team: Tommy Townsend (Chiefs)

2nd team: Michael Dickson (Seahawks)

Return Specialist:

1st team: Keisean Nixon (Packers), Marcus Jones (Patriots)

2nd team: Kene Nwangwu (Vikings), Kalif Raymond (Lions)

Special Teamer:

1st team: Jeremy Reaves (Commanders)

2nd team: George Odum (49ers) 

Top 10 Live Performances of 2022

Concerts Attended in 2022:

3/23 Touche Amore/Vein.fm/Militarie Gun/Scowl, Paradise Rock Club, Boston, MA

4/9 Converge: Bloodmoon/Caspian/Walter Schreifels, Roadrunner, Brighton, MA 

5/29 Boston Calling Day 3 (Metallica/Weezer/Glass Animals/Japanese Breakfast), Harvard Athletic Complex, Allston, MA

9/21 Lamb of God/Killswitch Engage/Baroness/Suicide Silence, MGM Music Hall at Fenway, Boston, MA

11/19 Turnstile/Snail Mail/Fiddlehead, Roadrunner, Brighton, MA 

12/15 Counterparts/SeeYouSpaceCowboy.../Dying Wish/Foreign Hands, Paradise Rock Club, Boston, MA

12/30 Killswitch Engage/Unearth/Rivers of Nihil/Lybica, The Palladium, Worcester, MA 

10.Counterparts:

Counterparts was seemingly the only -core band that rose to prominence between 2008 and 2013 that I'd never seen live before. That drought finally came to an end last month and they certainly didn't disappoint. The melodies, emotions and breakdowns that drive their music are just as powerful live as they are on record and vocalist Brendan Murphy is a warm, hilarious presence that seemed beyond grateful for the support of their fans that have allowed them to enjoy sustained success in a genre where staying power is getting harder and harder to maintain.

9.Unearth:

You wouldn't know that Unearth hasn't been actively touring since early 2019 by seeing them live. The Massachusetts metalcore icons fill the stage with the same fire and precision they had 10-15 years ago, which is probably why they continue to wipe the floor with 99% of their peers in a live setting. 

8.Converge: Bloodmoon:

While not without its technical issues (largely surrounding the volume of Chelsea Wolfe's microphone), it was really cool to get the chance to see the Bloodmoon lineup of Converge play and bask in the sludgy, gothic glory that makes this supergroup such a compelling departure from the math/metalcore legends traditional sound in person.  

7.Glass Animals:

Deciding to camp out in a front of a stage to get the possible spot for Metallica led to a shockingly pleasant surprise. In fact, I was actively lamenting the fact that I had to sit through a Glass Animals set right up until the moment they actually stepped on stage. Their hooky songs and the endearingly goofy energy their frontman Dave Bayley possessed made their set a total blast and even got me to check out their 2016 record How to Be a Human Being-which is a pure psychedelic pop delight. I still do however think that their biggest hit song "Heat Waves" and the bulk of the other songs from their most recent LP Dreamland are songs that were made to be heard at a low volume at a grocery store or retail establishment.

6.Dying Wish:

On a bill fill of extremely talented bands who deliver in a big way live, Portland-bred metalcore upstarts Dying Wish were able to steal the spotlight with their sheer ferocity, mammoth breakdowns and an energy level that was so relentless that the venue had to send in extra security to try and limit the amount of people that were getting on stage/stagediving.

5.Killswitch Engage (12/30): 

Closing out the year with what effectively was a hometown show for Killswitch Engage (Jesse Leach indicated that they've always felt like Worcester was home for the Western Massachusetts natives since they've played The Palladium so many times over the years) was amazing. While they were great when I saw them open for Lamb of God in September, the lack of wear and tear that inevitably comes from being on the road for a prolonged period of time made this a tighter, more energetic performance-especially from Leach whose vocals sounded immaculate here. 

4.Vein.fm:

Vocalist Anthony DiDio may've been visibly aggravated and eager to leave the stage at the Paradise as quickly as possible, but that didn't stop Vein.fm from being their usual destructive selves. Their 25-minute set felt like it was about 5 minutes on account of how hard they went and the tracks from their new record This World is Going to Ruin You sounded absolutely monstrous live.  

3.Baroness:

What a treat it was to finally be able to see Baroness live. Sure, they were painfully out of place on a bill with Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage and Suicide Silence and seeing them play from the top level of a brand new, upscale 5,000+ person venue felt kind of odd considering how low-key their band is. That being said, those unusual circumstances didn't prevent them from flat-out killing. Everything from John Baizley's vocals to the guitar tone to the fucking floor tom sounded heaven-sent and their setlist served as a brief yet enthralling tour through their entire discography. The chance to finally see them headline can't come soon enough.  

2.Metallica:

After the auditory black hole otherwise known as Gillette Stadium derailed the magic of my 1st time seeing them back in 2017, this was the opportunity to see a proper Metallica set that I've been waiting about half my life to see. Being able to actually see and hear these legends rip through a 2-hour set that leaned shockingly heavy on Ride the Lightning cuts ("Creeping Death", "Fade to Black", "For Whom the Bell Tolls", the title track) was such a surreal, incredible experience that I'm still in disbelief that it actually happened.  

1.Turnstile: 

Being at this show felt like winning the lottery. The band was on fire, the crowd was raucous, and the atmosphere was just electric because of it. On top of all that, Turnstile re-shuffled and changed the setlist since this was their 2nd show in Boston on back-to-back nights-which led to them coming out of the gates with the 1-2 punch of "Mystery" and "Blackout", switching out "No Surprise" for "Wild WRLD" and moving "Holiday" into the final song before the encore slot. This was easily the most fun I've had a show in quite some time and shoutout to Turnstile on getting to spend their 2023 cashing big checks and committing elder abuse on a nightly basis as the openers on cash grab-182's latest reunion tour with Tom DeLonge. 

NFL Wild Card Predictions

San Francisco 49ers over Seattle Seahawks:

It sucks that the Seahawks storybook 2022 season seems destined to end on such a shit note. While the rainy conditions in Santa Clara should be enough to keep things close, the 49ers top-ranked defense should prove to be too much for their offense that has been largely mediocre over the past month to handle, and their porous run defense likely won't have any answers for their 3-headed snake RB committee that's headed up by Christian McCaffery.   

Jacksonville Jaguars over Los Angeles Chargers:

Strike the Jaguars Week 2 blowout victory over the Chargers from the record book. This game between two pretty evenly matched teams should come down to the coaching matchup and I'll take Super Bowl Champion Doug Pederson over Brandon "Trust the Analytics-Expect When It Comes to Playing Your Starters in a Meaningless Game" Staley any day of week. Pederson has had the Jags playing great football over the past month and a half as they rallied from a 3-7 start to win the AFC South while the Chargers have been stringing together narrow wins over bad teams for the better part of a month. Throw in the bonus sting of the Chargers being without Mike Williams on account of the aforementioned boneheaded decision by Staley to play him against the Broncos last week and the Jags' homefield advantage and you have a recipe for a win for the kings of Duval County. 

Buffalo Bills over Miami Dolphins:

Any hope of this game being competitive went out the window once Tua Tagovailoa was ruled out on Wednesday as he continues to deal with symptoms from his 2nd diagnosed concussion this season. Rookie 3rd string QB Skylar Thompson could barely lead the Dolphins past a deflated, undermanned Jets team that had nothing to play for to secure a playoff berth last Sunday, so asking him to go into Buffalo and take out a super motivated, super talented Bills team just isn't realistic. 

New York Giants over Minnesota Vikings:

This preposterous run of the Vikings picking up 1-score victories has to come to an end quicklyin the playoffs, right? While it wouldn't be a full-blown shock if they were able to KO a very young Giants team on this massive stage, Kirk Cousins is liable to implode when you take him out of the comforts of that 1 PM EST time slot, they're at a significant disadvantage on the defensive side of the ball as the Giants are generally pretty good in all phases-especially now that rookie edge rusher Kayvon Thibodeaux is playing at a high level  and the Giants should be hungry to avenge their own 1-score loss to the Vikings that occurred just 3 weeks ago.

Cincinnati Bengals over Baltimore Ravens:

Putting this game in the Sunday primetime slot over Giants/Vikings is massive schedule malpractice by the NFL. The Bengals just thrashed the Ravens last week and there was no chance in hell that Lamar Jackson was going to risk further injuring his knee when he's due to sign a massive new deal within the next 2 months. Tyler Huntley should be less overwhelmed than rookie Anthony Brown was a week ago, so look for the Ravens to lower that margin of defeat from 11 down to 7-9 before they turn their attention to Jackson's contract negations and re-loading for a potential real playoff run in 2023. 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers over Dallas Cowboys: 

Making this pick just feels dirty. Tom Brady is in the same mopey "I'm done with this fucking team" mode that he was with the 2019 Patriots-who went one-and-done in the playoffs- and that team had a supporting cast/heart that was downright legendary compared to this 2022 Buccaneers team. But unlike the 2019 Patriots who had to deal with a frisky Titans team on Wild Card weekend, Brady is being handed a gift by playing the Cowboys. The Cowboys struggles in the playoffs since they won their last Super Bowl in 1995 are well-documented and there's no reason to believe that this particular team-who just got waxed by the Sam Howell-led Commanders in the regular season finale-will put an end to the franchise's long-running postseason woes. This Bucs defense is good enough to force Dak Prescott-who led the league in INT's despite missing 5 games with injury-to make enough mistakes to put Brady in the ideal position to score some points and with the hot seat suddenly intensifying, Mike McCarthy-who has his own checkered history in the playoffs-seems likely to crap his pants in epic fashion. If the Cowboys do indeed lose this game, Jerry Jones could very well fire McCarthy and trade 63 draft picks to the Saints for Sean Payton by the end of the week.  

2022 in Movies: A Year in Review

Reports of cinema's death have been greatly exaggerated. Not only did more people start going back to theaters in 2022 after Spider-Man: No Way Home did wonders for re-selling the world on the upsides of the communal moviegoing experience, but audiences were treated to a wide-ranging slate of excellent films.

Top Gun: Maverick rode the tears and cheers of everyone's dad into the history books as the film banked an astounding $1.49 billion globally. Glass Onion demonstrated how unfairly good Rian Johnson is at making whodunits as well as how deeply committed Netflix remains to losing as much money as possible by only having it play in theaters for a week. Multiple horror films (The Black Phone, Barbarian, Smile) broke the genre mold by getting such great word-of-mouth that they held exceptionally well and were able to steadily generate tickets sales for 6-10 straight weeks. Aubrey Plaza continued her mission to destroy the absurd public notion that she only plays characters that are like April Ludgate by delivering an incredible performance as the lead in an intense, down-and-dirty crime movie (Emily the Criminal). Steven Spielberg, Damien Chazelle and Todd Field were all able to make the kind of expensive passion projects that seemed like they would go extinct as a result of studios tightening their purse strings after all the financial woes they endured as a result of the COVID lockdowns. The guys behind the farting corpse movie made a beautiful, heartfelt yet still gleefully absurd film that connected with audiences so much that it became the highest-grossing movie A24's 10-year history. And last, but not least: the Jurassic World franchise remained the undisputed champion of breathtakingly stupid blockbusters with its perfectly idiotic swan song Dominion.

Below, you'll find a list of every 2022 movie I've seen ranked from worst to best along with a slew of awards and superlatives. Let's hope that 2023 delivers plenty of more gems and destroys whatever doubts and concerns may remain about the future of the movie industry.   

Haven't Seen Yet, but Plan to Watch at Some Point in the Future:

7 Days

After Yang

Alice, Darling

All Quiet on the Western Front

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed

American Carnage

Argentina, 1985

Athena

Brian and Charles

Broker

Call Jane

Causeway

Cha Cha Real Smooth

Christmas Bloody Christmas

Close

Deadstream

Descendant

Devotion

Dinner in America

Easter Sunday

Emancipation

Funny Pages

Girl in the Picture

Gone in the Night

The Good Nurse

Happening

Hellraiser

Hit the Road

Holy Spider

I Love My Dad

I Wanna Dance with Somebody

Interceptor

Is That Black Enough for You?!?

A Man Called Otto

Moonage Daydream

Mr. Harrigan's Phone

Navalny

Official Competition

The Pale Blue Eye

Piggy

Project Wolf Hunting

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Resurrection

Return to Seoul

Rise

Rosaline

The Sea Beast

Sharp Stick

Slash/Back

Soft & Quiet

Something in the Dirt

The Son

Speak No Evil

Spin Me Round

Spoiler Alert

Stars at Noon

The Stranger

Strange World

Taurus

Thirteen Lives

Triangle of Sadness

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

Wendell & Wild

Windfall

The Wonder

132.Moonfall (D-)

131.Memory (D-)

130.White Noise (D)

129.The Contractor (D)

128.Elvis (D)

127.Three Thousand Years of Longing (D+)

126.Morbius (D+)

125.Sundown (D+)

124.Last Seen Alive (C-)

123.End of the Road (C-)

122.Dog (C-)

121.Texas Chainsaw Massacre (C-)

120.The Whale (C-)

119.Black Adam (C)

118.Blacklight (C)

117.All the Old Knives (C)

116.Home Team (C)

115.Lou (C)

114.Good Mourning (C)

113.Fire of Love (C)

112.Run Sweetheart Run (C)

111.Luckiest Girl Alive (C)

110.Empire of Light (C)

109.The Bubble (C+)

108.Where the Crawdads Sing (C+)

107.Death on the Nile (C+)

106.Minions: The Rise of Gru (C+)

105.The Man from Toronto (C+)

104.God's Country (C+)

103.Don't Worry Darling (C+)

102.Studio 666 (B-)

101.Deep Water (B-)

100.Me Time (B-)

99.Crush (B-)

98.Marry Me (B-)

97.Turning Red (B-)

96.The Forgiven (B-)

95.Ticket to Paradise (B-)

94.She Said (B-)

93.Samaritan (B-)

92.The Adam Project (B-)

91.Decision to Leave (B-)

90.Uncharted (B-)

89.Senior Year (B-)

88.Amsterdam (B-)

87.The Invitation (B-)

86.TAR (B-)

85.The Princess (B-)

84.Lightyear (B-)

83.DC League of Superpets (B-)

82.Aftersun (B-)

81.Crimes of the Future (B-)

80.Something from Tiffany's (B-)

79.Do Revenge (B-)

78.Fall (B-)

77.The Lost City (B)

76.Fire Island (B)

75.Beast (B)

74.I Want You Back (B)

73.Jurassic World Dominion (B)

72.Metal Lords (B)

71.Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (B)

70.Day Shift (B)

69.The 355 (B)

68.The Fallout (B)

67.The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (B)

66.The Gray Man (B)

65.Chip'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (B)

64.The Redeem Team (B)

63.Confess, Fletch (B)

62.Clerks III (B)

61.Women Talking (B)

60.The Bad Guys (B)

59.Fresh (B)

58.Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (B)

57.The Woman King (B)

56.The Fabelmans (B)

55.Thor: Love and Thunder (B)

54.Dual (B)

53.The Outfit (B)

52.See How They Run (B)

51.Nanny (B)

50.Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (B)

49.Halloween Ends (B)

48.RRR (B)

47.Top Gun: Maverick (B)

46.The Big 4 (B)

45.No Exit (B)

44.KIMI (B)

43.The Worst Person in the World (B)

42.Armageddon Time (B)

41.Barbarian (B)

40.Hustle (B)

39.Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (B+)

38.Spiderhead (B+)

37.Till (B+)

36.Breaking (B+)

35.Not Okay (B+)

34.Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (B+)

33.The Inspection (B+)

32.The Northman (B+)

31.On the Count of Three (B+)

30.Montana Story (B+)

29.Bullet Train (B+)

28.Pearl (B+)

27.Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. (B+)

26.Violent Night (B+)

25.Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (B+)

24.Bros (B+)

23.The Menu (B+)

22.Prey (B+)

21.Bones and All (B+)

20.Men (B+)

19.Look at Me: XXXTENTACTION (B+)

18.Bodies Bodies Bodies (B+)

17.Babylon (B+)

16.The Black Phone (B+)

15.Smile (B+)

14.Pleasure (B+)

13.Emily the Criminal (B+)

12.Watcher (B+)

11.Everything Everywhere All at Once (B+)

10.X (B+)

9.Scream (A-)

8.Emergency (A-)

7.Vengeance (A)

6.Jackass Forever (A)

5.Ambulance (A)

4.Glass Onion (A)

3.The Banshees of Inisherin (A)

2.Nope (A)

1.The Batman (A+)

Awards/Superlatives:

Best Picture: The Batman

Best Director: Matt Reeves, The Batman

Best Actor: Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Best Actress: Mia Goth, Pearl 

Best Supporting Actor: Paul Dano, The Batman

Best Supporting Actress: Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Best Original Screenplay: Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Best Adapted Screenplay: Rian Johnson, Glass Onion 

Best Cinematography: Greig Fraser, The Batman

Best Score: Justin Hurwitz, Babylon

Best Original Song: "Carolina" by Taylor Swift, Where the Crawdads Sing  

Best Visual Effects: Nope (Note: It would be Avatar: The Way of Water if I'd seen it)

Best Sound: The Batman

Best Directorial Debut: B.J. Novak, Vengeance 

Best Animated Movie: Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

Best Documentary: Look at Me: XXXTENTACION 

Best Non-English Language Movie: The Big 4

Best Villian: The Riddler (Paul Dano), The Batman

Worst Villain: The Moon, Moonfall

Best Performance in a Bad Movie: Brendan Fraser, The Whale

Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Claes Bang, The Northman

Best Overacting: Jake Gyllenhaal, Ambulance 

Worst Overacting: Kenneth Branagh, Death on the Nile  

The 5th Annual "Carry a Movie on Your Back" Award Presented by Greg Jennings: Thandiwe Newton, God's Country

Best Action Sequence: "Freeing Alluri/Final Fight", RRR

Worst Action Sequence: "Container Ship Attack", Morbius

Best Blockbuster: The Batman

Worst Blockbuster: Moonfall

Finest Hidden Indie Gem: Pleasure

Most Insufferable Indie Trash: Sundown

Beast Theater Experience (Presentation): The Batman in Dolby Cinema 

Best Theater Experience (Crowd): Glass Onion 

Worst Theater Experience (Presentation): Moonfall

Worst Theater Experience (Crowd): None (fortunately) 

Most Absurd Scene I Saw in a Theater That Can Be Easily Explained in the Written Word: A roughly 16–18-year-old dude sitting in the front row ripping a weed vape on 2 occasions during Nope (The winner without these restrictions is a lengthy anecdote that involves a 65+ year old man taking a very creative, needlessly long trek to get to his seats during Ticket to Paradise) 

Mainstream Blockbuster That I Firmly Believe Deserves 1,000,000,000x More Hate than What Morbius Has Received: Moonfall  

Most Beautifully Chaotic Spectacle That Hollywood Will Hopefully Take Note from Despite Its Relatively Poor Box Performance: Ambulance

Misunderstood Big Swings That Are Going to Age Well and Earn Sizable Cult Followings: Halloween Ends and Babylon 

Most Underrated Movies:

1.Ambulance

2.Vengeance 

3.Emergency

4.Watcher

5.Emily the Criminal

Most Overrated Movies:

1.Elvis

2.TAR

3.Decision to Leave

4.Turning Red

5.Top Gun: Maverick 

Biggest Suprises:

1.Vengeance 

2.Smile

3.Look at Me: XXXTENTACION

4.The Menu

5.No Exit

Biggest Letdowns:

1.The Bubble

2.The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

3.The Whale

4.Don't Worry Darling

5.Amsterdam

Top Performances:

1.Colin Farrell (The Banshees of Inisherin)

2.Mia Goth (Pearl)

3.Danielle Deadwyler (Till)

4.Paul Dano (The Batman)

5.Kerry Condon (The Banshees of Inisherin) 

6.Aubrey Plaza (Emily the Criminal)

7.Michelle Yeoh (Everything Everywhere All at Once)

8.Janelle Monae (Glass Onion)

9.Mark Rylance (Bones and All) 

10.Diego Calva (Babylon)

Top Breakthrough Performances:

1.Diego Calva (Babylon)

2.Brandon Perea (Nope)

3.Jeremy Pope (The Inspection)

4.Donald Elise Watkins (Emergency)

5.Anna Diop (Nanny)

6.Stephanie Hsu (Everything Everywhere All at Once)

7.Owen Teague (Montana Story)

8.Sofia Kappel (Pleasure)

9.Daryl McCormack (Good Luck to You, Leo Grande)

10.Havana Rose Liu (No Exit)

10 Under-the-Radar Awesome Performances That I Didn't List Above:

1.Rachel Sennott (Bodies Bodies Bodies)

2.Justin Long (Barbarian)

3.Brittany Snow (X)

4.RJ Cyler (Emergency)

5.Theo Rossi (Emily the Criminal)

6.Sosie Bacon (Smile)

7.Kristen Stewart (Crimes of the Future)

8.Maika Monroe (Watcher)

9.Zoe Kravitz (KIMI)

10.John Boyega (Breaking)

Top Acting Ensembles:

1.The Banshees of Inisherin

2.The Batman

3.Glass Onion 

4.Nope

5.Everything Everywhere All at Once

6.Bodies Bodies Bodies

7.The Menu

8.Bones and All

9.X

10.Babylon

Top Directorial Debuts:

1.Vengeance (B.J. Novak)

2.Emergency (Cary Williams)

3.Watcher (Chloe Okuno)

4.Emily the Criminal (John Patton Ford)

5.Pleasure (Ninja Thyberg)

6.Smile (Parker Finn)

7.Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. (Adamma Ebo)

8.On the Count of Three (Jerrod Carmichael)

9.The Inspection (Elegance Bratton)

10.Breaking (Abi Damaris Corbin)

Top Cinematography: 

1.The Batman (Greig Fraser)

2.Nope (Hoyte van Hoytema)

3.Babylon (Linus Sandgren)

4.The Northman (Jarin Blaschke)

5.X (Eliot Rockett)

6.Nanny (Rina Yang)

7.Deicision to Leave (Kim Ji-yong)

8.Men (Rob Hardy)

9.Prey (Jeff Cutter)

10.Watcher (Benjamin Kirk Nielsen) 

Top Scores:

1.Babylon (Justin Hurwitz)

2.The Batman (Michael Giacchino)

3.Nope (Michael Abels)

4.Bones and All (Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross)

5.RRR (M.M. Keeravani)

6.Pearl (Tyler Bates and Tim Williams) 

7.Crimes of the Future (Howard Shore)

8.Glass Onion (Nathan Johnson)

9.X (Tyler Bates and Chelsea Wolfe)

10.Women Talking (Hildur Guonadottir) 

Top Movies I Hope to See in 2023:

1.John Wick: Chapter 4

2.The Killer (David Fincher)

3.Bottoms

4.Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3

5.Killers of the Flower Moon

6.Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre 

7.Next Goal Wins

8.Creed III

9.Fast X

10.Mission:Impossible-Dead Reckoning Part One

Top 10 Movies of 2022

Honorable Mentions (in alphabetical order):

Emily the Criminal

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Pleasure

Smile

Watcher

10.X:

After multiple years as a director-for-hire on the horror/thriller TV circuit, Ti West returned to the world of feature films with a bang. While West's ode to 70's slashers eventually turns into a darkly comedic, sleazy gorefest that would've played like gangbusters in horror's grindhouse/bootleg VHS era, his ability to build up a slowly intensifying atmosphere of dread, develop every character and provide some compelling commentary on aging, body image and the power of lust and desire before the killing starts is what helps elevate X from a great genre entry to a great film period.

9.Scream:

Simply calling Scream a successful reboot or legacy sequel feels kind of disrespectful. By picking the ideal targets for satire (toxic online fandom, the concept of "elevated horror", legacy reboots) and finding a clever way to tie a new generation of characters-played by a terrific ensemble that includes Melissa Barrera, Jack Quaid, Jenna Ortega, Jasmin Savoy-Brown, Mason Gooding, Mikey Madison and Dylan Minette- to the franchise's established protagonists (Neve Campbell's Sidney Prescott, Courtney Cox's Gale Weathers, David Arquette's Dewey Riley), the director duo of Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (Ready or Not) made something that authentically honors Wes Craven's legacy while also expanding the lore with a thoughtful examination of the scars Sidney, Gale and Dewey picked up from fighting Ghostface over the years. Seeing where the franchise goes from here with this primary cast and director team should be incredibly exciting.

8.Emergency:

The 2022 Edition of Sundance proved to be one of the most loaded lineups the indie festival has had in recent memory with very-well received flicks such as Cha Cha Real Smooth, Emily the Criminal and Fresh counting themselves among the dozens of films that premiered there. Of all the films that screened there that I was able to see in 2022, Emergency ended being my favorite. Cary Williams' remarkable directorial debut about a group of Black and Latino college students (Donald Elise Watkins, RJ Cyler, Sebastian Chacon-who are all phenomenal) that have their end-of-semester Friday night plans upended when they find a White girl (Maddie Nichols) passed out in their apartment finds equal time for goofy situational comedy, white-knuckle suspense, honest heart-to-heart conversations between close friends that seem to be heading in different directions in life and purposeful commentary on race and how people of color are viewed not only by the police, but by Whites in general situations of distress without ever feeling disjointed or overstuffed. 

7.Vengeance:

Add B.J. Novak to the growing list of actors who nailed their directorial debuts. Vengeance is a deeply cynical, consistently hilarious look at how the age of the internet has destroyed people's ability to get to really know each other and intensified the superficial human desire to create an image of yourself that is radically different from who you really are. Throw in a great mystery hook that drives the plot forward, some terrific performances by Boyd Holbrook, Issa Rae, Ashton Kutcher (he's never played a character like this before) and Novak himself and a nerve-wracking final act that hammers home its messages with brutal efficiency and you have yourself a true multi-faceted gem of a film.

6.Jackass Forever:

What a perfect sendoff to the men who taught the world just how much active torture the human penis can endure without falling off. Jackass Forever features some of the most insane, disgusting and laugh-out-loud funny stunts that these comedy icons have ever done and getting to see Johnny Knoxville and co.'s swan song in a theater with a group of people that appreciated this crew's legacy of doing stupid stuff to make the people that you love laugh was a uniquely joyous, oddly heartwarming experience that I'll always cherish.  

5.Ambulance:

Let's acknowledge how Ambulance was Michael Bay's idea of "a small, contained movie he could make during the pandemic". What Bay views as a low-key return to work birthed by COVID restrictions is an electrifying carnival of relentless chaos that dedicates 90% of its running time to a failed bank heist that immediately turns into a car chase/hostage situation that features breathtakingly frantic editing/camerawork including revolutionary use of drones that will be mimicked into oblivion by lesser action films over the next 2-3 years, crazy practical stunt driving/explosions that reenforce why real movie magic is always better than CGI and 3 veteran actors (Jake Gyllenhaal, Yaya Abdul-Mateen, Eiza Gonzalez) fully buying into the freewheeling atmosphere with performances that flawlessly sell whatever absurdity, melodrama or intensity a specific scene calls for. In other words, Ambulance represents Bay at his chaotic best and we can only hope that he blesses the world with more "small, contained movies" in the future.   

4.Glass Onion:

Glass Onion is Rian Johnson's way of showing off as he somehow made a sequel to Knives Out that tops the predecessor in every possible way. The jokes are funnier, the ensemble features an even deeper roster of terrific actors crushing their respective roles (everybody is great, but Janelle Monae, Kate Hudson and Edward Norton are the top standouts) and the mid-film twist that shattered Ben Shapiro's galaxy brain into a zillion pieces slowly builds towards an incredible final scene that couldn't have possibly provided a better conclusion to this mystery that at first seems complex but is slowly revealed to be very obvious and really silly. At this rate, I hope Johnson doesn't stop making Benoit Blanc mysteries until him and/or Daniel Craig retire from the industry.

3.The Banshees of Inisherin:

Following up his worst movie with arguably his best one is one hell of a power move by Martin McDonagh. The British-Irish playwright turned filmmaker is fully dialed into his existentialist zone on this equally hysterical and tragic film about how the sudden, inexplicable dissolvement of a relationship, feeling trapped in a place and whether or not someone is feeling fulfilled as an individual can dramatically affect the quality of their life and how they treat other people. If it were up to me, The Banshees of Inisherin would dominate the acting/writing/directing portion of every single awards show as I feel no other film in serious contention for these honors did anything as impressive as capture the wide range of human emotions McDonagh, Colin Farrell, Kerry Condon, Brendan Gleeson and Barry Keoghan did here.

2.Nope:

At a time where original blockbusters that are oozing with creativity and wonder are a depressingly rare breed, the existence of Nope feels like a minor miracle. Jordan Peele used all of the money he pocketed for Universal on Get Out and Us to leverage his way into being able to make his biggest movie to date: an eerie yet breathtaking alien invasion movie that doubles as a pointed commentary on humanity's love of exploitative spectacle and burning desire to become rich or famous by any means necessary as well as a deeply touching portrait on the powerful love/bond that forms between siblings in the wake of having a parent that didn't always give them the love or attention they needed that is played beautifully by Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer. We need more films like this that meet at the intersection of ambition and entertainment, and it rules that Peele is going to continue to have carte blanche to make whatever the hell he wants for the foreseeable future.

Side note: If Brandon Perea doesn't become a big star after his hilarious, wildly charismatic performance as Angel-the electronics store employee who befriends Kaluuya and Palmer's characters after installing security cameras at their family horse ranch-Hollywood will deserves big ration of shit for actively ignoring an actor that radiates natural talent. 

1.The Batman: 

No amount of pre-release hype or tremendous trailers could've prepared me for the masterpiece that The Batman ended up being. Matt Reeves didn't just make a great Batman film, he put together the most intricate, awe-inspiring live action portrayal of the character thus far. Gotham is a place that is overflowing with darkness, danger and corruption. Bruce Wayne is a solemn recluse consumed by grief and rage who doubts his efforts to fight crime are actually making any positive impact on Gotham. So little is known about Batman that the citizens of Gotham fear him and the people actively terrorizing the city actually believe that he could be on their side. Selina Kyle is just a petty criminal seeking to find her missing friend. James Gordon is a veteran detective that is so fed up with the corruption in the Gotham Police Department that he finds himself with no choice but to trust the masked vigilante to help him achieve his goal of making Gotham safer. The Penguin is a low-level mobster who is struggling to get out of the shadow of his boss Carmine Falcone. Seeing these well-known characters transported back to the days before they became heroes or villains that inspire mass adoration or fear in an environment that is so full of visceral danger and uncertainty is exactly the fresh storytelling approach the character needed after all these years and getting to see how Reeves allows them to grow on a film-by-film basis should be an incredible gift (if the now extremely untrustworthy heads of Warner Brothers are generous enough to allow it to happen).

2022 in Music: A Year in Review

The albums of 2022 created a thread of narratives that is every bit as rich as those spun by the year's films. SZA finally shut up a lot of restless, arguably obnoxious people by putting out her long gestating 2nd LP. A Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood side project that managed to both capture and subvert the spirit of Radiohead emerged seemingly overnight. Machine Gun Kelly's pop punk reinvention suddenly went from surprisingly interesting to just as boring as hip hop career was. BROCKHAMPTON ended their magical run as a group with a fizzle. Every single former member of In Flames teamed up on a project that sounds exactly like In Flames circa 1998. King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard didn't sleep for at least 10 months and pumped out 4 good-to-excellent records. 75% of the post-hardcore, pop punk and metal/deathcore bands that broke up 10 years ago reunited and put out new material.

Below, you'll find a list of every LP and EP I heard in 2022 ranked from worst to best as well some superlatives including the top 50 songs, most overrated/underrated releases and a quick list of artists I hope to get a new record from 2023.  Here's to another year of narratives and the emotions they make us feel. 

EP's:

3.END/Cult Leader-Gather & Mourn (B)

2.Billie Eilish-Guitar Songs (B)

1.Foreign Hands-Bleed the Dream (B)

LP's:

121.Muse-Will of the People (D+)

120.Banks-Serpentina (C-)

119.Machine Gun Kelly-Mainstream Sellout (C-)

118.The Devil Wears Prada-Color Decay (C-)

117.Maren Morris-Humble Quest (C)

116.Thornhill-Heroine (C)

115.Camila Cabello-Familia (C)

114.Black Country, New Road-Ants From Up There (C)

113.Foxes-The Kick (C)

112.Megadeth-The Sick, The Dying... and the Dead! (C)

111.MUNA-MUNA (C)

110.Steve Lacy-Gemini Rights (C)

109.Taylor Swift-Midnights (C)

108.Quavo and Takeoff-Only Built for Infinity Links (C)

107.Soilwork-Overgivenheten (C)

106.L.S. Dunes-Past Lives (C)

105.BROCKHAMPTON-TM (C)

104.Beyonce-Renaissance (C)

103.Kilo Kish-American Gurl (C)

102.Slowbleed-The Blazing Sun, a Fiery Dawn (C+)

101.The Chasm-The Scars of a Lost Reflective Shadow (C+)

100.Undeath-It's Time to Rise... from the Grave (C+)

99.Monuments-Stasis (C+)

98.Static Dress-Rouge Carpet Disaster (C+)

97.BROCKHAMPTON-The Family (C+)

96.State Champs-Kings of the New Age (C+)

95.Alexisonfire-Otherness (C+)

94.Post Malone-Twelve Carat Toothache (B-)

93.Korn-Requiem (B-)

92.Drug Church-Hygiene (B-)

91.Miss May I-Curse of Existence (B-)

90.Charli XCX-Crash (B-)

89.Machine Head-Of Kingdom and Crown (B-)

88.Vince Staples-Ramona Park Broke My Heart (B-)

87.Nova Twins-Supernova (B-)

86.Drake and 21 Savage- Her Loss (B-)

85.Jack White-Entering Heaven Alive (B-)

84.Demi Lovato-HOLY FVCK (B-)

83.Rico Nasty-Las ruinas (B-)

82.Norma Jean-Deathrattle Sing for Me (B-)

81.Maggie Rodgers-Surrender (B-)

80.Clutch-Sunrise on Slaughter Beach (B-)

79.The Mars Volta-The Mars Volta (B-)

78.Varials-Scars for You to Remember (B-)

77.Amon Amarth-The Great Heathen Army (B-)

76.Electric Callboy-Tekkno (B-)

75.Rosalia-Motomami (B-)

74.Harry Styles-Harry's House (B-)

73.Mitski-Laurel Hell (B-)

72.FKA twigs-Caprisongs (B-)

71.Worm Shepherd-Ritual Hymns (B-)

70.AURORA-THE GODS WE CAN TOUCH (B-)

69.Rolo Tomassi-Where Myth Becomes Memory (B-)

68.Megan thee Stallion-Traumazine (B-)

67.Joji-Smithereens (B-)

66.p.s.you'redead-Sugar Rot (B)

65.Enterprise Earth-The Chosen (B)

64.Municipal Waste-Electrified Brain (B)

63.Analepsy-Quiescence (B)

62.Foxtails-Fawn (B)

61.Gunna-DS4EVER (B)

60.Critical Defiance-No Life Forms (B)

59.Arch Enemy-Deceivers (B)

58.Soreption-Jord (B)

57.Dr.Acula-Dr.Acula (B)

56.Terror-Pain into Power (B)

55.Cosmic Putrefaction-Crepuscular Dirge for the Blessed Ones (B)

54.Weyes Blood-And in the Darkness, Hearts Aglow (B)

53.Cabal-Magno interitus (B)

52.KEN Mode-Null (B)

51.Carly Rae Jepsen-The Loneliest Time (B)

50.Rina Sawayama-Hold the Girl (B)

49.Action Bronson-Cocodrillo Turbo (B)

48.Florence + the Machine-Dance Fever (B)

47.Meshuggah-Immutable (B)

46.Candy-Heaven is Here (B)

45.Drake-Honestly, Nevermind (B)

44.Sudan Archives-Natural Brown Prom Queen (B)

43.Pusha T-It's Almost Dry (B)

42.Northlane-Obsidian (B)

41.Metro Boomin-Heroes & Villains (B)

40.Slipknot-The End, So Far (B)

39.Artificial Brain-Artificial Brain (B)

38.Kendrick Lamar-Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers (B)

37.Immolation-Acts of God (B)

36.Coheed and Cambria-A Window of the Waking Mind (B)

35.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Changes (B)

34.Denzel Curry-Melt My Eyez See Your Future (B)

33.Jack White-Fear of the Dawn (B)

32.Behemoth-Opvs contra natvram (B)

31.Moon Tooth-Phototroph (B)

30.Goatwhore-Angels Hanging from the Arches of Heaven (B)

29.Fit for An Autopsy-Oh What the Future Holds (B)

28.The Halo Effect-Days of the Lost (B)

27.Stray from the Path-Euthanasia (B)

26.Ithaca-They Fear Us (B)

25.Lamb of God-Omens (B)

24.Soul Glo-Diaspora Problems (B)

23.Shadow of Intent-Elegy (B+)

22.Counterparts-A Eulogy for Those Still Here (B+)

21.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Laminated Denim (B+)

20.Allegaeon-Damnum (B+)

19.Gospel-The Loser (B+)

18.Venom Prison-Erebos (B+)

17.JID-The Forever Story (B+)

16.The Callous Daoboys-Celebrity Therapist (B+)

15.Greyhaven-This Bright and Beautiful World (B+)

14.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Ice, Death, Planets, Lungs, Mushrooms and Lava (B+)

13.The Smile-A Light for Attracting Attention (B+)

12.SZA-SOS (B+)

11.Tove Lo-Dirt Femme (B+)

10.Bad Omens-THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND (B+)

9.Animals as Leaders-Parrhesia (B+)

8.Revocation-Netherheaven (B+)

7.Cave In-Heavy Pendulum (A-)

6.The Weeknd-Dawn FM (A-)

5.Wormrot-Hiss (A-)

4.Fallujah-Empyrean (A-)

3.King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Omnium Gatherum (A-)

2.Vein.fm-This World is Going to Ruin You (A-)

1.Tallah-The Generation of Danger (A)  

Awards/Superlatives:

Biggest Surprises:

1.Wormrot-Hiss

2.Bad Omens-THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND

3.Fallujah-Empyrean

4.Cave In-Heavy Pendulum 

5.JID-The Forever Story

Biggest Letdowns:

1.Banks-Serpentina 

2.BROCKHAMPTON-TM and The Family

3.Undeath-It's Time to Rise...from the Grave

4.Post Malone-Twelve Carrot Toothache 

5.Rina Sawayama-Hold the Girl

Most Underrated:

1.Greyhaven-This Bright and Beautiful World

2.The Callous Daoboys-Celebrity Therapist  

3.Venom Prison-Erebos

4.Itacha-They Fear Us

5.Stray from the Path-Euthansia 

Most Overrated:

1.Beyonce-Renaissance 

2.Taylor Swift-Midnights

3.Steve Lacy-Gemini Rights

4.Drake and 21 Savage-Her Loss

5.Nova Twins-Supernova

Top Discoveries:

1.Gospel

2.Soul Glo

3.Sudan Archives 

4.KEN Mode

5.Cabal 

Top Artists I Hope Drop an Album in 2023:

1.Death Grips

2.Danny Brown

3.Veil of Maya

4.Converge

5.Playboi Carti 

Top 50 Songs (in alphabetical order by artist):

Animals as Leaders-Conflict Cartography

Bad Omens-Like a Villain

Bad Omens-Nowhere to Go

The Callous Daoboys-Violent Astrology

Carly Rae Jepsen-Taking to Yourself

Cave In-Floating Skulls

Cave In-Heavy Pendulum

Cave In-Waiting for Love

Fallujah-Duality of Intent

Fallujah-Radiant Ascension

Greyhaven-In a Room Where Everything Dies

The Halo Effect-Days of the Lost

Harry Styles-Late Night Talking

In Flames-State of Slow Decay

J.I.D-Dance Now (feat. Kenny Mason)

Jack White-Fear of the Dawn

Jack White-The White Raven

Kendrick Lamar-Mother I Sober (feat. Beth Gibbons)

Kendrick Lamar-United in Grief

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Magma

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Gaia

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-Presumptous

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-The Dripping Tap

Lil Yachty-Poland

The Mars Volta-Blacklight Shine

Mitski-Love Me More

Moon Tooth-The I That Never Dies

Revocation-Galleries of Morbid Artistry

Revocation-Strange and Eternal

Rina Sawayama-Imagining

Rosalia-LA FAMA (feat. The Weeknd)

Shadow of Intent-Saurian King

The Smile-The Smoke

The Smile-Thin Thing

Sudan Archives-Home Maker

SZA-Blind

SZA-Seek and Destroy

SZA-Shirt

Tallah-Stomping Grounds

Tallah-The Hard Reset

Tallah-The Impressionist

Tallah-Windred

Tove Lo and SL Lewis-Call on Me

Tove Lo-2 Die 4

Tove Lo-No One Dies from Love

Vein.fm-Hellnight (feat. Jeff Smith)

Vein.fm-Inside Design

Vein.fm-Magazine Beach

Vein.fm-The Killing Womb

The Weeknd-How Do I Make You Love Me?

The Weeknd-Less Than Zero

The Weeknd-Sacrifice