Thursday, January 12, 2023

2022 in Movies: A Year in Review

Reports of cinema's death have been greatly exaggerated. Not only did more people start going back to theaters in 2022 after Spider-Man: No Way Home did wonders for re-selling the world on the upsides of the communal moviegoing experience, but audiences were treated to a wide-ranging slate of excellent films.

Top Gun: Maverick rode the tears and cheers of everyone's dad into the history books as the film banked an astounding $1.49 billion globally. Glass Onion demonstrated how unfairly good Rian Johnson is at making whodunits as well as how deeply committed Netflix remains to losing as much money as possible by only having it play in theaters for a week. Multiple horror films (The Black Phone, Barbarian, Smile) broke the genre mold by getting such great word-of-mouth that they held exceptionally well and were able to steadily generate tickets sales for 6-10 straight weeks. Aubrey Plaza continued her mission to destroy the absurd public notion that she only plays characters that are like April Ludgate by delivering an incredible performance as the lead in an intense, down-and-dirty crime movie (Emily the Criminal). Steven Spielberg, Damien Chazelle and Todd Field were all able to make the kind of expensive passion projects that seemed like they would go extinct as a result of studios tightening their purse strings after all the financial woes they endured as a result of the COVID lockdowns. The guys behind the farting corpse movie made a beautiful, heartfelt yet still gleefully absurd film that connected with audiences so much that it became the highest-grossing movie A24's 10-year history. And last, but not least: the Jurassic World franchise remained the undisputed champion of breathtakingly stupid blockbusters with its perfectly idiotic swan song Dominion.

Below, you'll find a list of every 2022 movie I've seen ranked from worst to best along with a slew of awards and superlatives. Let's hope that 2023 delivers plenty of more gems and destroys whatever doubts and concerns may remain about the future of the movie industry.   

Haven't Seen Yet, but Plan to Watch at Some Point in the Future:

7 Days

After Yang

Alice, Darling

All Quiet on the Western Front

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed

American Carnage

Argentina, 1985

Athena

Brian and Charles

Broker

Call Jane

Causeway

Cha Cha Real Smooth

Christmas Bloody Christmas

Close

Deadstream

Descendant

Devotion

Dinner in America

Easter Sunday

Emancipation

Funny Pages

Girl in the Picture

Gone in the Night

The Good Nurse

Happening

Hellraiser

Hit the Road

Holy Spider

I Love My Dad

I Wanna Dance with Somebody

Interceptor

Is That Black Enough for You?!?

A Man Called Otto

Moonage Daydream

Mr. Harrigan's Phone

Navalny

Official Competition

The Pale Blue Eye

Piggy

Project Wolf Hunting

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Resurrection

Return to Seoul

Rise

Rosaline

The Sea Beast

Sharp Stick

Slash/Back

Soft & Quiet

Something in the Dirt

The Son

Speak No Evil

Spin Me Round

Spoiler Alert

Stars at Noon

The Stranger

Strange World

Taurus

Thirteen Lives

Triangle of Sadness

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

Wendell & Wild

Windfall

The Wonder


132.Moonfall (D-)

131.Memory (D-)

130.White Noise (D)

129.The Contractor (D)

128.Elvis (D)

127.Three Thousand Years of Longing (D+)

126.Morbius (D+)

125.Sundown (D+)

124.Last Seen Alive (C-)

123.End of the Road (C-)

122.Dog (C-)

121.Texas Chainsaw Massacre (C-)

120.The Whale (C-)

119.Black Adam (C)

118.Blacklight (C)

117.All the Old Knives (C)

116.Home Team (C)

115.Lou (C)

114.Good Mourning (C)

113.Fire of Love (C)

112.Run Sweetheart Run (C)

111.Luckiest Girl Alive (C)

110.Empire of Light (C)

109.The Bubble (C+)

108.Where the Crawdads Sing (C+)

107.Death on the Nile (C+)

106.Minions: The Rise of Gru (C+)

105.The Man from Toronto (C+)

104.God's Country (C+)

103.Don't Worry Darling (C+)

102.Studio 666 (B-)

101.Deep Water (B-)

100.Me Time (B-)

99.Crush (B-)

98.Marry Me (B-)

97.Turning Red (B-)

96.The Forgiven (B-)

95.Ticket to Paradise (B-)

94.She Said (B-)

93.Samaritan (B-)

92.The Adam Project (B-)

91.Decision to Leave (B-)

90.Uncharted (B-)

89.Senior Year (B-)

88.Amsterdam (B-)

87.The Invitation (B-)

86.TAR (B-)

85.The Princess (B-)

84.Lightyear (B-)

83.DC League of Superpets (B-)

82.Aftersun (B-)

81.Crimes of the Future (B-)

80.Something from Tiffany's (B-)

79.Do Revenge (B-)

78.Fall (B-)

77.The Lost City (B)

76.Fire Island (B)

75.Beast (B)

74.I Want You Back (B)

73.Jurassic World Dominion (B)

72.Metal Lords (B)

71.Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (B)

70.Day Shift (B)

69.The 355 (B)

68.The Fallout (B)

67.The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (B)

66.The Gray Man (B)

65.Chip'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (B)

64.The Redeem Team (B)

63.Confess, Fletch (B)

62.Clerks III (B)

61.Women Talking (B)

60.The Bad Guys (B)

59.Fresh (B)

58.Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (B)

57.The Woman King (B)

56.The Fabelmans (B)

55.Thor: Love and Thunder (B)

54.Dual (B)

53.The Outfit (B)

52.See How They Run (B)

51.Nanny (B)

50.Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (B)

49.Halloween Ends (B)

48.RRR (B)

47.Top Gun: Maverick (B)

46.The Big 4 (B)

45.No Exit (B)

44.KIMI (B)

43.The Worst Person in the World (B)

42.Armageddon Time (B)

41.Barbarian (B)

40.Hustle (B)

39.Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (B+)

38.Spiderhead (B+)

37.Till (B+)

36.Breaking (B+)

35.Not Okay (B+)

34.Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (B+)

33.The Inspection (B+)

32.The Northman (B+)

31.On the Count of Three (B+)

30.Montana Story (B+)

29.Bullet Train (B+)

28.Pearl (B+)

27.Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. (B+)

26.Violent Night (B+)

25.Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (B+)

24.Bros (B+)

23.The Menu (B+)

22.Prey (B+)

21.Bones and All (B+)

20.Men (B+)

19.Look at Me: XXXTENTACTION (B+)

18.Bodies Bodies Bodies (B+)

17.Babylon (B+)

16.The Black Phone (B+)

15.Smile (B+)

14.Pleasure (B+)

13.Emily the Criminal (B+)

12.Watcher (B+)

11.Everything Everywhere All at Once (B+)

10.X (B+)

9.Scream (A-)

8.Emergency (A-)

7.Vengeance (A)

6.Jackass Forever (A)

5.Ambulance (A)

4.Glass Onion (A)

3.The Banshees of Inisherin (A)

2.Nope (A)

1.The Batman (A+)

Awards/Superlatives:

Best Picture: The Batman

Best Director: Matt Reeves, The Batman

Best Actor: Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Best Actress: Mia Goth, Pearl 

Best Supporting Actor: Paul Dano, The Batman

Best Supporting Actress: Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Best Original Screenplay: Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin 

Best Adapted Screenplay: Rian Johnson, Glass Onion 

Best Cinematography: Greig Fraser, The Batman

Best Score: Justin Hurwitz, Babylon

Best Original Song: "Carolina" by Taylor Swift, Where the Crawdads Sing  

Best Visual Effects: Nope (Note: It would be Avatar: The Way of Water if I'd seen it)

Best Sound: The Batman

Best Directorial Debut: B.J. Novak, Vengeance 

Best Animated Movie: Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

Best Documentary: Look at Me: XXXTENTACION 

Best Non-English Language Movie: The Big 4

Best Villian: The Riddler (Paul Dano), The Batman

Worst Villain: The Moon, Moonfall

Best Performance in a Bad Movie: Brendan Fraser, The Whale

Worst Performance in a Good Movie: Claes Bang, The Northman

Best Overacting: Jake Gyllenhaal, Ambulance 

Worst Overacting: Kenneth Branagh, Death on the Nile  

The 5th Annual "Carry a Movie on Your Back" Award Presented by Greg Jennings: Thandiwe Newton, God's Country

Best Action Sequence: "Freeing Alluri/Final Fight"RRR

Worst Action Sequence: "Container Ship Attack", Morbius

Best Blockbuster: The Batman

Worst Blockbuster: Moonfall

Finest Hidden Indie Gem: Pleasure

Most Insufferable Indie Trash: Sundown

Beast Theater Experience (Presentation): The Batman in Dolby Cinema 

Best Theater Experience (Crowd): Glass Onion 

Worst Theater Experience (Presentation): Moonfall

Worst Theater Experience (Crowd): None (fortunately) 

Most Absurd Scene I Saw in a Theater That Can Be Easily Explained in the Written Word: A roughly 16–18-year-old dude sitting in the front row ripping a weed vape on 2 occasions during Nope (The winner without these restrictions is a lengthy anecdote that involves a 65+ year old man taking a very creative, needlessly long trek to get to his seats during Ticket to Paradise) 

Mainstream Blockbuster That I Firmly Believe Deserves 1,000,000,000x More Hate than What Morbius Has Received: Moonfall  

Most Beautifully Chaotic Spectacle That Hollywood Will Hopefully Take Note from Despite Its Relatively Poor Box Performance: Ambulance

Misunderstood Big Swings That Are Going to Age Well and Earn Sizable Cult Followings: Halloween Ends and Babylon 

Most Underrated Movies:

1.Ambulance

2.Vengeance 

3.Emergency

4.Watcher

5.Emily the Criminal

Most Overrated Movies:

1.Elvis

2.TAR

3.Decision to Leave

4.Turning Red

5.Top Gun: Maverick 

Biggest Suprises:

1.Vengeance 

2.Smile

3.Look at Me: XXXTENTACION

4.The Menu

5.No Exit

Biggest Letdowns:

1.The Bubble

2.The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

3.The Whale

4.Don't Worry Darling

5.Amsterdam

Top Performances:

1.Colin Farrell (The Banshees of Inisherin)

2.Mia Goth (Pearl)

3.Danielle Deadwyler (Till)

4.Paul Dano (The Batman)

5.Kerry Condon (The Banshees of Inisherin) 

6.Aubrey Plaza (Emily the Criminal)

7.Michelle Yeoh (Everything Everywhere All at Once)

8.Janelle Monae (Glass Onion)

9.Mark Rylance (Bones and All

10.Diego Calva (Babylon)

Top Breakthrough Performances:

1.Diego Calva (Babylon)

2.Brandon Perea (Nope)

3.Jeremy Pope (The Inspection)

4.Donald Elise Watkins (Emergency)

5.Anna Diop (Nanny)

6.Stephanie Hsu (Everything Everywhere All at Once)

7.Owen Teague (Montana Story)

8.Sofia Kappel (Pleasure)

9.Daryl McCormack (Good Luck to You, Leo Grande)

10.Havana Rose Liu (No Exit)

10 Under-the-Radar Awesome Performances That I Didn't List Above:

1.Rachel Sennott (Bodies Bodies Bodies)

2.Justin Long (Barbarian)

3.Brittany Snow (X)

4.RJ Cyler (Emergency)

5.Theo Rossi (Emily the Criminal)

6.Sosie Bacon (Smile)

7.Kristen Stewart (Crimes of the Future)

8.Maika Monroe (Watcher)

9.Zoe Kravitz (KIMI)

10.John Boyega (Breaking)

Top Acting Ensembles:

1.The Banshees of Inisherin

2.The Batman

3.Glass Onion 

4.Nope

5.Everything Everywhere All at Once

6.Bodies Bodies Bodies

7.The Menu

8.Bones and All

9.X

10.Babylon

Top Directorial Debuts:

1.Vengeance (B.J. Novak)

2.Emergency (Cary Williams)

3.Watcher (Chloe Okuno)

4.Emily the Criminal (John Patton Ford)

5.Pleasure (Ninja Thyberg)

6.Smile (Parker Finn)

7.Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. (Adamma Ebo)

8.On the Count of Three (Jerrod Carmichael)

9.The Inspection (Elegance Bratton)

10.Breaking (Abi Damaris Corbin)

Top Cinematography: 

1.The Batman (Greig Fraser)

2.Nope (Hoyte van Hoytema)

3.Babylon (Linus Sandgren)

4.The Northman (Jarin Blaschke)

5.X (Eliot Rockett)

6.Nanny (Rina Yang)

7.Deicision to Leave (Kim Ji-yong)

8.Men (Rob Hardy)

9.Prey (Jeff Cutter)

10.Watcher (Benjamin Kirk Nielsen) 

Top Scores:

1.Babylon (Justin Hurwitz)

2.The Batman (Michael Giacchino)

3.Nope (Michael Abels)

4.Bones and All (Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross)

5.RRR (M.M. Keeravani)

6.Pearl (Tyler Bates and Tim Williams) 

7.Crimes of the Future (Howard Shore)

8.Glass Onion (Nathan Johnson)

9.X (Tyler Bates and Chelsea Wolfe)

10.Women Talking (Hildur Guonadottir) 

Top Movies I Hope to See in 2023:

1.John Wick: Chapter 4

2.The Killer (David Fincher)

3.Bottoms

4.Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3

5.Killers of the Flower Moon

6.Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre 

7.Next Goal Wins

8.Creed III

9.Fast X

10.Mission:Impossible-Dead Reckoning Part One

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