Thursday, August 29, 2024

Casey Affleck Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Casey Affleck-whose latest project "Slingshot" releases in theaters tonight.

Casey Affleck's Filmography Ranked:

19.Ocean's Twelve (D-)

18.The Finest Hours (D)

17.Interstellar (D+)

16.The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (C-)

15.Tower Heist (B-)

14.The Old Man & the Gun (B-)

13.Our Friend (B-)

12.Triple 9 (B)

11.Out of the Furnace (B)

10.Oppenheimer (B)

9.American Pie 2 (B)

8.Chasing Amy (B)

7.Ocean's Thirteen (B+)

6.American Pie (B+)

5.To Die For (B+)

4.Gone Baby Gone (A)

3.Ocean's Eleven (A)

2.Good Will Hunting (A)

1.Manchester by the Sea (A)

Top Dog: Manchester by the Sea (2016)

The brilliant, authentic writing from Kenneth Lonergan and a trio of powerhouse performances from Casey Affleck, Lucas Hedges and Michelle Williams transform this family drama from a potential soap opera into a devastating character study about the far-reaching permanent effects of grief and loss. While I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to muster up the stomach to sit through it again, Manchester by the Sea is a masterpiece and easily one of the best films of the 2010's.      

Bottom Feeder: Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Steven Soderbergh created something in Ocean's Twelve that is the total inverse of his Ocean's Eleven remake. Where Ocean's Eleven was breezy, Ocean's Twelve is lethargic. Where Ocean's Eleven was simple and efficient with its storytelling, Ocean's Twelve is needlessly drawn out and convoluted. Where Ocean's Eleven was effortlessly cool, Ocean's Twelve is buttoned up and completely disinterested in loosening up under any circumstances. Trying to make a sequel that didn't feel like a retread of Ocean's Eleven was an admirable thought, but the execution of Ocean's Twelve really couldn't have been much worse and the chilly reception it received almost certainly led to the shift back to a fun, laid-back vibe for Ocean's Thirteen.        

Most Underrated: To Die For (1995)

Nicole Kidman had already established herself in Hollywood by the time To Die For came out, but this may've been the first project she appeared in that showcased the full extent of her acting talent. Her performance as a New Hampshire-based television weather reporter that recruits a trio of degenerate teenagers (Joaquin Phoenix, Affleck, Alison Folland) to kill her husband (Matt Dillon) who she feels is more committed to his family's restaurant and starting a family than helping her pursue her dream of becoming famous is hilarious, horrifying and utterly mesmerizing. As sharply written and well-acted as it is across the board, To Die For wouldn't have had the same level of bite behind its dark comedy without Kidman at the center of it.     

Most Overrated: Interstellar (2014)

Honestly, I feel like everything Christopher Nolan has made post-Dark Knight trilogy with the possible exception of Dunkirk is overrated to varying degrees. Interstellar, however, is the only one of those films that I feel is overrated and bad. This movie is just a tedious slog full of comically tacky, overly sentimental melodrama, questionable acting from great actors (Matthew McConaughey, Anna Hathaway, Jessica Chastain) and middling setpieces that mostly lack Nolan's typical flare.     

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

2023 in Movies: Revisited

What stands out about the 2023 cinematic year in retrospect perhaps even more now than did it 8 months ago is just how fucking special it is. Odds are if you really love movies and go through the list of 2023 releases, you'll find double digit titles that you really love. That's a rare phenomenon that becomes even more impressive when you consider that several notable titles that were originally set to release last fall including Dune: Part TwoChallengers and The Bikeriders got bumped to this year on account of the SAG strike.

On account of all the excellence that 2023 delivered and the titles I saw from mid-January on being pretty middling overall, there wasn't much change at any juncture of the list from the posting of my year-end movie recap to now. Toplining the change that did happen was Poor Things shooting up to the top 3 after a rewatch in March, Blackberry losing considerable ground as I've further reconciled with just how overrated it is and the crowning of a new worst movie of the year! Below, you'll find my updated list of every 2023 film I've seen ranked from worst to best with grades. Hopefully this list inspires to you check something out or at least fills you with enough contempt or disdain to remember that you've read it. Enjoy my friends.         

155.(new) The Exorcist: Believer (D-) 

154.(138) Fool's Paradise (D)

153.(137) Your Place or Mine (D+)

152.(136) Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (D+)

151.(135) Maestro (D+)

150.(134) The Old Way (D+)

149.(133) Hypnotic (C-)

148.(new) She Came to Me (C-)

147.(132) Meg 2: The Trench (C-)

146.(131) The Locksmith (C-)

145.(130) Polite Society (C-)

144.(new) When You Finish Saving the World (C-)

143.(129) Asteroid City (C-)

142. (128) Candy Cane Lane (C-)

141.(new) The Retirement Plan (C-)

140.(new) The Sweet East (C-)

139.(127) Murder Mystery 2 (C)

138.(126) Flamin' Hot (C)

137.(125) The Out-Laws (C)

136.(124) The Flash (C)

135.(123) White Men Can't Jump (C)

134.(122) You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (C)

133.(121) Retribution (C)

132.(120) Freelance (C)

131.(new) The Mother (C)

130.(new) The Zone of Interest (C)

129.(119) Chevalier (C)

128.(new) Cat Person (C)

127.(118) House Party (C)

126.(117) Totally Killer (C)

125.(116) Silent Night (C)

124.(new) The Nun II (C)

123.(new) The Color Purple (C)

122.(115) 80 for Brady (C)

121.(new) Origin (C)

120.(114) Sisu (C+)

119.(113) Shotgun Wedding

118.(new) Migration (C+)

117.(112) Shortcomings (C+)

116.(111) You People (C+)

115.(110) Expend4ables (C+)

114.(109) Pain Hustlers (C+)

113.(108) The Super Mario Bros. Movie (C+)

112.(107) 65 (C+)

111.(106) We Have a Ghost (B-)

110.(105) Dicks: The Musical (B-)

109.(104) Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (B-)

108.(103) Elemental (B-)

107.(102) Boston Strangler (B-)

106.(101) Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (B-)

105.(100) A Haunting in Venice (B-)

104.(99) Godzilla Minus One (B-)

103.(98) The Marvels (B-)

102.(97) Rustin (B-)

101.(96) Love at First Sight (B-)

100.(95) Landscape with Invisible Hand (B-)

99.(94) It Lives Inside (B-)

98.(93) Shazam!: Fury of the Gods (B-)

97.(92) Strays (B-)

96.(91) Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (B-)

95.(90) Ferrari (B-)

94.(89) Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (B-)

93.(88) To Catch a Killer (B-)

92.(87) The Pope's Exorcist (B-)

91.(86) The Machine (B-)

90.(72) BlackBerry (B-)

89.(85) The Equalizer 3 (B-)

88.(84) Sick (B-)

87.(83) The Royal Hotel (B-)

86.(82) Rebel Moon-Part One: A Child of Fire (B-)

85.(81) Quiz Lady (B-)

84.(80) The Creator (B-)

83.(new) Your Lucky Day (B-)

82.(79) Napoleon (B-)

81.(78) The Wrath of Becky (B-)

80.(77) Champions (B-)

79.(76) Plane (B-)

78.(75) Somebody I Used to Know

77.(74) If You Were the Last (B)

76.(73) Haunted Mansion (B)

75.(71) Earth Mama (B)

74.(70) Anyone But You (B)

73.(69) Oppenheimer (B)

72.(68) You Hurt My Feelings (B)

71.(67) Kandahar (B)

70.(65) The Blackening

69.(new) The Burial (B)

68.(64) Dumb Money (B)

67.(66) Beau is Afraid (B)

66.(new) The Teacher's Lounge (B)

65.(62) Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (B)

64.(61) The Boogeyman (B)

63.(60) Joy Ride (B)

62.(63) Blue Beetle (B)

61.(new) Perfect Days (B)

60.(59) Knock at the Cabin (B)

59.(58) Somewhere in Queens (B)

58.(57) M3GAN (B)

57.(56) How to Blow Up a Pipeline (B)

56.(55) No One Will Save You (B)

55.(54) Reality (B)

54.(53) Next Goal Wins (B)

53.(52) Nimona (B)

52.(51) American Fiction (B)

51.(48) Eileen (B)

50.(50) Saw X (B)

49.(49) Magic Mike's Last Dance

48.(47) Of an Age (B)

47.(46) Renfield (B)

46.(45) Are You There God? It's Me, Margret. (B)

45.(44) Gran Turismo (B)

44.(43) Fair Play (B)

43.(42) Anatomy of a Fall (B)

42.(41) Theater Camp (B)

41.(40) Rye Lane (B)

40.(39) Evil Dead Rise (B)

39.(38) Infinity Pool (B)

38.(37) They Cloned Tyrone (B)

37.(36) Dream Scenario (B)

36.(35) The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (B)

35.(34) Missing (B)

34.(33) The Covenant (B)

33.(32) Smoking Causes Coughing (B+)

32.(31) Talk to Me (B+)

31.(30) Wonka (B+)

30.(new) Society of the Snow (B+)

29.(29) Sanctuary (B+)

28.(28) Fast X (B+)

27.(27) Leave the World Behind (B+)

26.(26) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (B+)

25.(25) Scream VI (B+)

24.(24) Priscilla (B+)

23.(23) Extraction 2 (B+)

22.(22) Air (B+)

21.(21) Cocaine Bear (B+)

20.(20) No Hard Feelings (B+)

19.(19) A Thousand and One (B+)

18.(18) The Iron Claw (B+)

17.(17) Thanksgiving (B+)

16.(16) May December (B+)

15.(15) Saltburn (B+)

14.(14) Killers of the Flower Moon (B+)

13.(13) Mission-Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One (B+)

12.(12) Past Lives (B+

11.(11) Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (B+)

10.(10) The Killer (A-)

9.(9) Bottoms (A-)

8.(8) Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (A-)

7.(7) Creed III (A)

6.(6) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 (A)

5.(4) The Holdovers (A)

4.(3) Barbie (A)

3.(5) Poor Things (A)

2.(2) All of Us Strangers (A)

1.(1) John Wick: Chapter 4 (A)

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

2024 NFL Preview: AFC West

 Denver Broncos

2023 Record: 8-9 (3rd in AFC West)

Head Coach: Sean Payton (2nd season)

Notable Additions: EDGE John Franklin-Myers, WR Josh Reynolds, LB Cody Barton

Notable Departures: QB Russell Wilson, S Justin Simmons, WR Jerry Jeudy

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Bo Nix

To say the Russell Wilson era in Denver didn't go as planned would be a massive understatement. The trade for Wilson and subsequent massive contract extension (5 years/$245 mil) they signed him to will be weighing the Broncos organization down for years to come. The divorce between the Broncos and Wilson following the conclusion of the 2023 was telegraphed last December when Sean Payton abruptly benched him for Jarrett Stidham in Week 17 so he wouldn't hit a playing time threshold that triggered a bonus for him. Wilson's parting gift to Denver upon his release in March: an $85 million dead cap hit in 2024 and his contract remaining on the books through the 2028 season (that's right gang, the extension starts this season!!!). How George Paton remains employed with the team is completely beyond comprehension, particularly in the modern NFL where executives and coaches have been fired for far less damaging moves.

Heading into 2024 with Stidham penciled in as their starting QB, the Broncos didn't have many paths they could go down to add another QB that could compete to start. They couldn't sign a veteran of any consequence given their cap situation and their limited draft capital effectively locked them into a situation where they were taking whatever QB remained on the board when they picked at #12 overall or be forced to commit to starting Stidham for a full season and try their luck in the 2025 draft. The former ended up playing out as they pulled the semi-shocking move of taking Oregon product Bo Nix-who was a 2nd round prospect in the eyes of most evaluators-at #12. Nix was never anything more than a solid QB during his time at Auburn and Oregon, which earned him a lot of heat since he had been starting since he was a true freshman in 2019 (he currently holds the record for most starts by a QB in NCCA history with 61) and put a cap on his pro projections. 

In recent weeks, a lot of the skepticism surrounding Nix has quieted down quite a bit. He's displayed full command of the offense during the preseason games, been accurate and decisive with his throws and efficiently moved the offense down the field on most of the drives he was out there for. Unsurprisingly, his performances this summer led to him officially being named the Broncos Week 1 starter last week. As deeply unsexy as Nix was coming out of the draft, his unflashy style is exactly what made him so appealing to Payton. Nix's presence pretty much allows them to run the same simple, checkdown-driven offense they did with Wilson last year, except with the added threat of mobility and a better handling of pressure than Wilson at this juncture of his career and not having a "star" QB allows the spotlight to return to him and his offensive genius reputation. This team was able to win 8 games last year with the burden of having Wilson under center. The downgrades on the roster overall may prevent them from getting to that threshold again, but this offense could very well improve with Nix running it.           

Biggest Reason for Concern: Wide Receivers

One of the biggest reasons why the Broncos appear to be in a position to regress in 2024 despite Wilson leaving is what they have at the receiver spot. The main source of concern is how they're going to go about replacing Jerry Jeudy. Jeudy may have failed to live up to his 1st round draft pick status (him going just 2 picks before CeeDee Lamb in 2020 will haunt this organization forever) and pissed off hardass Payton for whatever reason (if you recall, they made a strong effort to trade him at the deadline last year over his feuding with Payton), but he was at least a proven, functional NFL starter-which is more than can be said about his potential replacements.

Topping the list of Jeudy replacements is journeyman Josh Reynolds. The 8th year pro is coming off his clear best season since his 2020 mini-breakout with the Rams-putting up 40 receptions for 608 YDS and 5 TD's across 17 games. The major caveat with those numbers is that he did that while lining up alongside Amon-Ra St.Brown, Sam LaPorta, David Montgomery and Jahmyr Gibbs in Detroit. He will not have the luxury of being the beneficiary of such soft coverage on a team that boasts literally 1 proven threat among its pass-catchers and backs (Courtland Sutton).

They are also seemingly putting a lot on the plate of Tim Patrick. The veteran slot receiver has been a nice little weapon for the Broncos offense in the past, clearing 700+ YDS and 5+ TD's in 2020 and 2021. Patrick hasn't gotten the chance to build off those campaigns as he hasn't seen even a snap of regular season action since 2021 after suffering a torn ACL and torn Achillies in the opening days of training camp in 2022 and 2023 respectively. While his long-overdue return to action in the preseason has showed some encouraging signs, he's going to be 31 in November and it remains to be seen if he can get open and contribute when the intensity/effort level ratchets up considerably in the regular season. (Update: Patrick got cut!)

Competing for playing time behind Reynolds is a pretty ragtag group of young guys headed up by Marvin Mims Jr. and rookie Troy Franklin. Mims Jr. started off his rookie year in 2023 red hot-logging 9 REC for 242 YDS and a TD across his first 4 games before tailing off in a big way over the final 12 games he played in and finishing the year with a 22 REC/377 YDS/TD line.

 Franklin was a polarizing prospect (it's been a minute since we've seen a receiver that was considered anywhere between a 1st and 6th round talent depending on who you talked to) whose established rapport with Nix from their time together at Oregon likely landed him on the team. Early impressions for Franklin in the pros have been pretty poor as he was being considered a cut candidate as recently as last week, which is awful for a high 4th round pick.  

Trotting out such a questionable set of WR's in an offense led by a rookie QB is playing with fire and arguably proof that Payton has learned nothing from his past history with the Saints where his offenses were regularly held back by running the passing game through just one guy.                   

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Young Players Performing

The crushing reality about the Broncos right now is that Wilson's comically high dead cap hit is going to be impacting their ability to add and re-sign players to at least some degree over the next 5 seasons. Since they won't be able to afford to re-sign most of their players (see this offseason where they couldn't retain center Lloyd Cushenberry after a career year) or go after impact free agents, they have to hit on draft picks at a higher-than-average clip. 

Since Patton took over in 2021, they have 2 confirmed hits (Patrick Surtain II, Quinn Minerz) and 1 that's up for debate (Baron Browning). All 3 of those guys were selected in 2021 and only Minerz is confirmed to be in the fold long-term after inking an extension in July. That's pretty bleak shit for a team whose young guys are of such heightened importance to their success level in the near future.

2024 will be a deeply important year for Patton as several of his draft picks/UDFA pickups will now be joining the starting lineup after this year's round of roster shuffling. Nix (quarterback), Luke Wattenberg (center), Riley Moss (outside corner) and Ja'Quan McMillian (slot corner) are all slated to become full-starters for the first time this year. Wattenberg and Moss are of particular concern as they were both relatively unsung draft picks with minimal playing time thus far that are being forced to step into starting roles. 

In addition to the first-time starters, young guys like Browning (outside linebacker), Jonathon Cooper (outside linebacker), Greg Dulcich (tight end), Javonte Williams (running back), Nik Bonitto (outside linebacker/pass rushing specialist), and free agent pickup Brandon Jones (free safety) will all play key roles. All of these guys are enigmas at this point of their careers and making reasonable projections about them in either direction really isn't possible. Payton, particularly during his Super Bowl run in 2009 and in the late 2010's, found success by building a strong young corps. Doing the same thing in Denver is his ticket to proving the doubters wrong and making his unretirement from coaching a worthwhile endeavor and we'll find out whether they have one here or not in the coming months.

Bottom Line:

How the young players on this team play will be the difference between this team being in the running for a high draft pick and competing for a Wild Card spot.        

Kansas City Chiefs:

2023 Record: 11-6 (1st in AFC West)

Head Coach: Andy Reid (12th season)

Notable Additions: WR Hollywood Brown, P Matt Araiza, WR JuJu Smith-Schuster

Notable Departures: CB L'Jarius Sneed, P Tommy Townsend, LB Willie Gay

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Hollywood Brown's Arrival

Look, I'm no fan of Marquise "Hollywood" Brown. I thought he had no business being a 1st round pick when he was coming out of Oklahoma in 2019 and nothing about his play in the NFL has convinced me otherwise. He disappears whenever he's greeted with contact, doesn't have elite traits beyond his speed and has a knack for timely, ugly drops. With all of this being said, Brown is such a huge upgrade over what the Chiefs had at receiver last season that his arrival should be greeted with a small parade around the team's facility. He won't lose track of the ball in mid-air like Marquez Valdez-Scantling, runs cleaner routes than Mecole Hardman and won't line up offsides or knock the ball into the opponents' hands like Kadarius Toney. He's a competent, unremarkable wide receiver and that should make him a legit weapon in a Kansas City offense that rewards just about anybody who can clear that low bar for a professional football player.      

Biggest Reason for Concern: Rashee Rice's Productive Offseason

Rashee Rice, what the hell were you thinking man? All he had to do to remain one of the most promising players to come out of the 2023 draft was to not be an idiot and/or a complete piece of shit and he did both of those things when he committed a hit-and-run in downtown Dallas back in late March while allegedly street racing a friend of his that spawned a chain reaction crash involving four other vehicles that left two people hospitalized and left a couple of others with minor injuries. 

So far, he's faced zero real consequences. Rice's criminal case which includes 8 felony charges is pending, and the league has yet to discipline him, nor do they seem poised to as the Chiefs kick off the NFL regular season a week from tomorrow night. My advice to Rice is simple: Stay away from driving, take a seminar on critical thinking or some shit and learn from this boneheaded incident that luckily didn't kill anybody and just get back to playing WR for the best team in football man. You're going to have a good career if you don't end up in jail!  

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Keep Delivering

What else is there to say about the Chiefs at this point? They've won 3 Super Bowls in the last 5 years, have Advanced to atlLeast the AFC Championship Game every year since Patrick Mahomes became the starter in 2018 and basically just killed any lingering questions surrounding their greatness during their Super Bowl run last season that included multiple road wins and an all-time gusty comeback victory to win the Lombardi over the 49ers. We know exactly who they are and what they're capable of at this point. 

Are there a few areas of concern surrounding them? Of course. Intending to start a raw rookie in Kingsley Suamatia at left tackle is a hell of a gamble considering their past struggles when not having at least a semi-respectable veteran lined up at that spot, any discipline being handed down towards Rice this season would be devastating to the functionality of their passing attack and reshuffling the corner group once again following the trade of L'Jarius Sneed opens up the possibility of them finally getting burned by their refusal to pay their top guy. But at the end of the day, their track record of overcoming adversity has been remarkable and I'm not going to suddenly start betting against them now. Their offense is run by a future Hall of Fame coach who remains on the cutting edge of playcalling/scheming at 66. Steve Spagnuolo has turned their defense into one of the most relentlessly physical and aggressive yet disciplined units in the league. They have a quarterback with a dynamic set of physical tools and level of killer instinct that we've only seen a few times in history at this position. As long as these guys keep delivering, the Chiefs are going to be great and if the Chiefs keep being great, their dynasty is going to be really difficult to bring down.   

Bottom Line:

Sorry if this is a hot take but I think the Chiefs are going to be in contention for the Super Bowl this year and have a very good chance of winning it. 

Las Vegas Raiders

2023 Record: 8-9 (2nd in AFC West)

Head Coach: Antonio Pierce (1st full-time season)

Notable Additions: DT Christian Wilkins, QB Gardner Minshew, G Cody Whitehair

Notable Departures: RB Josh Jacobs, QB Jimmy Garoppolo, T Jermaine Eluemunor

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Antonio Pierce Being Promoted to HC Full-Time

Mark Davis prevented another Rich Bisaccia situation from happening in Vegas when he officially promoted interim head coach Antonio Pierce to full time head coach in late January. Pierce is the first coach since Doug Marrone in Jacksonville back in 2017 to be elevated from interim to head coach, which is huge since it felt like it may never happen again after what transpired with Bisaccia and Steve Wilks over the past few seasons. While the Raiders record with Pierce wasn't overly impressive (5-4), the team embraced him in a way that they never did with Josh McDaniels and that led to a considerably higher level of play than what we saw from them over the opening 8 games of the 2023 season when McDaniels was at the helm. We'll find out in due time if they made the right move, but in the interim, Pierce's promotion keeps buy-in on this team high and a strong defensive coordinator in Patrick Graham around to keep building a group that is quietly becoming one of the stouter units in the league and should be in line to improve this year now that star interior defensive lineman Christian Wilkins is on their roster.        

Biggest Reason for Concern: Luke Getsy Being Hired as OC

Most people probably didn't even notice this narrative being spun this offseason and rightfully so, it wouldn't be on the radar of the average football fan for reasons that will be obvious in a matter of moments: There was a concerted effort among some prominent members of the NFL media (particularly from Albert Breer of Sports Illustrated) to pin Luke Getsy's struggles as Bears OC over the past 2 seasons entirely on Justin Fields. This narrative was supported but not officially confirmed by the heavy interest Getsy drew in offensive coordinator searches around the league during this hiring cycle which culminated in his hiring by the Raiders. 

 As a Bears fan, Fields being the scapegoat for Getsy's struggles drove me completely fucking bananas.  About the only positive thing Getsy did for the Bears offense during his time there was call some designed runs for Fields, which was nice after Matt Nagy absolutely refused to do so in 2021. Other than that, his offense an absolute nightmare to watch. He often refuses to dial up passing plays that are more than 0.3 YDS downfield, doesn't know to scheme receivers open and really shows zero feel for the game with the way that he handles his playcalling. I personally believe that he's a bozo coach whose only getting another crack at being an OC because he's still benefitting from the magical Packers/Aaron Rodgers aura that has allowed the likes of Nathaniel Hackett to remain employed despite their stunning incompetence. Maybe getting away from the Bears will prove to be some kind of magic elixir for Getsy, but I honestly think he'll embrace his archaic dumpoff pass/rushing the ball tendencies even more now that he has a checkdown magnet with limited athleticism in Gardner Minshew as his quarterback and this will go down as one of the worst coordinator hires in recent history.            

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Getting the Run Game Going 

As I alluded to above, rushing the ball is a signature of Getsy's offense and to be fair to him, it worked out very well in Chicago as the Bears rushing offense (unsurprisingly) finished 1st in 2022 and 2nd in 2023 (they were 2nd in rushing attempts in each of these seasons). Now, having an elite rushing threat in Fields-who ran for over 1,700 YDS over these 2 seasons and a limited passing attack were huge factors in these totals, but regardless, they had a ground game that was varied, persistent and consistent every single week. 

Getsy's arrival in Vegas is coming at a time where their rushing game is in desperate need of a boost. Josh Jacobs crashed back to Earth in a major way following an excellent 2022 campaign, rushing for just 805 YDS on 233 carries over 13 games (an anemic average of 3.5 YDS per carry) and his lackluster efforts spearheaded a ground game that ranked 30th in the league in 2023. Re-establishing the ground game is of particular importance given Minshew's status as a game manager good for 18-25 passing attempts per game whose success with the Colts last season was largely brought on by their 10th ranked rushing offense.

With Jacobs leaving for the Packers in free agency and Minshew being not being much of a rusher himself (344 YDS is his career high and that was during his rookie year in Jacksonville in 2019), Getsy's rushing game restoration efforts will be centered around Zamir White and Alexander Mattison. White is currently slated to start after filling in for Jacobs during the final 4 games of last season. He fared pretty well in these games, clearing 100 YDS on the ground twice and averaging 4.67 YDS per carry. Much has been made about his heavy usage in the preseason being a sign that his job is in danger, but nobody from Mattison to Ameer Abdullah to rookie Dylan Laube has looked good enough during this stretch to pose a clear imminent threat to his workload.

Mattison, however, does make for an interesting complementary piece. He performed admirably as Dalvin Cook's backup/fill-in starter from 2019-22 and has logged 19 career starts including 13 in 2023. He does represent a bit of redundancy as he runs in a similar deliberate, unflashy manner as White and his dismal 2023 where the Vikings reluctantly kept him on as starter until Ty Chandler finally took the job from him late in the year was a damning strike against his ability to handle a full workload, but Getsy looks to rotate backs a bit and he should fare at least slightly better in a return to the 1B/3rd down back role he inherited during the bulk of his time in Minnesota.

                     There's also the fair question of whether or not the offensive line is equipped to handle this inevitable shift to a run-driven attack. Run blocking was their weakness as a group last year and they're returning 4 of 5 starters from their final 2023 lineup (Kolton Miller, Andre James, Dylan Parham, Thayer Munford) with the only new starter being Cody Whitehair at right guard-who can't be relied on to even make onto the field for kickoff, let alone block well at this point in his career. Maybe new OL coach James Cregg-who spent the past 2 years with the 49ers-will come over with some pointers from Trent Williams and co. that will unlock something these guys didn't have last year and give Minshew the ground game he needs to thrive.

Bottom Line:

While the Raiders are strong enough on defense to keep things interesting, I don't have much faith in their ability to make this offense work with Gardner Minshew and Luke Getsy at the helm.

Los Angeles Chargers

2023 Record: 5-12 (4th in AFC West)

Head Coach: Jim Harbaugh (1st season)

Notable Additions: RB Gus Edwards, EDGE Bud Dupree, C Bradley Bozeman

Notable Departures: WR Keenan Allen, WR Mike Williams, C Corey Linsley (retired)    

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Jim Harbaugh

Following the ouster of Marty Schottenheimer, the Spanos family has made a habit of not paying head coaches top dollar. Let's take a quick look at the murder's row of coaches that didn't command high salaries that have held the Chargers top job since Schottenheimer was axed after the 2006 season: 

Norv Turner

Mike McCoy

Anthony Lynn 

Brandon Staley 

Only Turner and Lynn finished their tenures with winning records and the team made 6 playoff appearances over these 17 seasons-wracking up a 5-6 overall record. Talk about great value on return! 

Spanos' track record of bargain shopping for head coaches is what made the hiring of Jim Harbaugh so unexpected. It was going to take a fat fucking check for Harbaugh to leave the college ranks behind and while his NFL return was inevitable, it's shocking that Spanos was the one that made it happen. 

The hiring of Harbaugh also signals that Spanos is sick of the status quo with the Chargers after almost 2 straight decades of underachieving (GM Tom Telesco also got fired this offseason after 11 years on the job). While Harbaugh comes with plenty of personal baggage (more on that in a minute), his resume is incredible. It's become an overplayed cliche to refer to him as a guy who's won everywhere he's been, but there really isn't a more succinct way to sum up his coaching accomplishments. He turned San Diego University into a D1A powerhouse, brought Stanford from the basement of the PAC-12 all the way to the BCS, guided the 49ers to their 1st Super Bowl appearance since the days when Steve Young was under center and ended Michigan's run of being a perineal disappointment by leading them to their first National Championship since 1997. Combating the immense institutional stench of the Chargers organization is a tough fight that might be too much for any coach to overcome, but if anybody can, it's the guy that's changed the culture and won at every single stop he's made at the 3 highest levels of competitive football in the United States.           

Biggest Reason for Concern: Jim Harbaugh

Let's not waste any time: Harbaugh comes with a level of baggage that is basically unmatched in the modern coaching rankings. His last 2 coaching stops with the 49ers and Michigan ended in a 5-alarm fire for very different reasons. In San Francisco, his hardass routine began to wear on everybody from his players to GM Trent Baalke after just 4 seasons, so they shitcanned him after an 8-8 season that followed 3 straight appearances in the NFC Championship Game and the aforementioned Super Bowl trip. At Michigan, he got embroiled in several controversies including a string of recruiting violations and cheating allegations that got him suspended last year, may lead to the stripping of Michigan's title and is believed to be the primary reason he opted to go to the NFL this year after turning down several previous offers to make his pro coaching comeback. Mind you this man was WINNING at a high clip, and everybody still had enough of him. I shudder to think of what kind of bedlam would be unleashed if Harbaugh was going through his daily grit routine and the team wasn't winning.

Then, there's bizarrely underdiscussed issue of Harbaugh being out of NFL for a full fucking decade. Do you know much the NFL has changed in a decade? Harbaugh doesn't seem to think so as he's hashing through his "building a bully" talking points and constructing rosters like he's preparing to go against Rex Ryan, Tom Coughlin and Jeff Fisher every week. What if his whole "when they go for speed and athleticism, we punch them in the mouth with TOUGHNESS" routine gains no traction and the teams with superior talent win? Then, you're just stuck with the angry guy with the Wal-Mart khakis on that's preaching about the importance of packing your hard hat and lunch pail for game day while the Chiefs are kicking their teeth in for the 12th consecutive time because no one can stop Mahomes, Greg Roman's wing-T formation has yielded 109 total yards of offense against Steve Spagnuolo's defense and Joe Alt is turning into the next Joe Thomas-racking up All-Pros on a garbage team while Malik Nabers is putting up 1,500+ YDS every year in East Rutherford. Expecting Harbaugh's whole schtick to keep playing simply on the grounds of him not failing yet is completely asinine. The NFL has passed plenty of great coaches by before. Why it would be shocking if Harbaugh was next on that list?             

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Making Stops on Defense

As I just outlined above, Harbaugh's way of doing business meant radically changing the personnel the Chargers had on their roster and that mostly meant cutting bait with offensive talent. Keenan Allen, Mike Williams, Austin Ekeler, Gerald Everett, Jaylen Guyton and Joshua Kelley all got sent their walking papers upon or shortly after Harbaugh's arrival. Replacing them will be the likes of Gus Edwards, J.K. Dobbins, D.J. Chark, Will Dissly, Hayden Hurst and rookie Ladd McConkey. Pair these names with the few other stragglers left over from the 2023 squad (Joshua Palmer, Quention Johnston, Derius Davis) and Roman running the offense and you have an offense that is not scaring a single fucking soul despite having the dynamic Justin Herbert under center.

What Harbaugh is setting this team up to do is to win games on defense and in theory, it's not an awful idea. This group has legit a solid core of holdover talent at all 3 levels of the defense (Khalil Mack, Joey Bosa, Derwin James, Asante Samuel Jr., Alohi Gilman, Tuli Tuipulotu) and a lot of their issues were caused more by Brandon Staley's staggering ineptitude than any actual talent deficiency. On top of that, their 3rd down (16th) and redzone efficiency numbers (13th) were pretty good relative to their bad overall finishes in several key areas (24th in scoring defense, 30th in passing defense, 24th in passing TD's allowed, 26th in rushing TD's allowed) and they have some pass rushing juice as Mack, Bosa and Tuipulotu combined for 28 sacks, 42 QB hits and 74 pressures across 43 games (Bosa only in 9 games *gasp*).

DC Jesse Minter's primary objective for 2024 has to be finding a way to turn these promising pieces into a more cohesive unit while simultaneously improving their glaring issues. Blitzing even more than Staley did a year ago (they ranked 8th in the league with 31.5% blitz rate on opposing dropbacks) seems like a strong potential jumping off point for their retooling efforts considering Minter's track record at Michigan and time spent with the Ravens working alongside Wink Martindale-who had the 2nd highest rate with the Giants last season. Putting less pressure on their DB's while more prominently featuring their potentially elite pass-rushing trio feels like the kind of thing that lay down the foundation for something special.

Minter is also going to have tap into his DB coach past to work on their corner group-which was an abject disaster last year outside of Samuel Jr. The good news is that their biggest liability from a year ago in Michael Davis is now on the Commanders. The bad news is that he's expected to be replaced by Kristian Fulton-who allowed a 75.5% CMP a year ago and posted a dismal PFF grade of 44.4 with the Titans last year. Slot corner Ja'Sir Taylor also needs to be coached up significantly after faring pretty poorly during his first stretch of significant game action in 2023-whiffing 5 tackles and allowing 401 YDS on just 31 receptions.

Linebacker may prove to be the key to this whole new look defense as they're trading in the veteran pairing of Murray and Kendricks for a projected starting duo of 2nd year LB Daiyan Henley and journeyman Denzel Perryman (Troy Dye and rookie Junior Colson could also be in contention for the job).  Henley and Perryman have this interesting yin-and-yang dynamic with Henley being a hyper athletic box safety-type player and Perryman being more of the imposing old school thumper type. Having two vastly different types of linebackers on the field at the same time is a completely different look than what you'll see elsewhere in the league, and it could allow the Chargers to get creative with how they deploy coverages, run gap assignments, etc.

This is all a very drawn-out way of saying the Chargers need to make some damn defensive stops or this entire Harbaugh experiment may be doomed before it even really begins.        

      Bottom Line:

Will be they be better than last year under Staley? Definitely. Harbaugh's game management skills are good, and he's probably already thrown the entire analytics department into the Pacific Ocean. Whether or not they'll be "good" is another question entirely. Their offense has such a profound lack of talent that I just can't them being better than like 25th in the league even if the o-line takes another step forward with Joe Alt at RT and Greg Roman's post-SF track record as an OC outside of his first couple years with Lamar Jackson in Baltimore is just awful.    

Predicted Standings:

1.Kansas City Chiefs (13-4)

2.Las Vegas Raiders (8-9)

3.Los Angles Chargers (7-10)

4.Denver Broncos (6-11)

Friday, August 23, 2024

Quick Movie Reviews: Alien: Romulus, Jackpot!, The Union, Didi

Alien: Romulus: Disney's takeover of 20th Century Fox in 2019 ensured that any and all of the valuable IP's they had in their library would be getting the reboot treatment. In the case of Alien, it was particularly needed as Ridley Scott's return to the franchise with Prometheus and Alien: Covenant were deep dives into the franchise lore that weren't all that loved beyond diehard Alien fans. Similar to Prey, this reboot materialized in the form of a back-to-basics exercise that would appeal to both fans and new audiences alike. So how well did Alien: Romulus fare with its assignment? Adequately, I guess.

A major of emphasis throughout the pre-release process for Romulus is just how much director/co-writer Fede Alvarez (2013's Evil Dead, Don't Breathe) loves the Alien franchise. The cast talked about how he knew the franchise like the back of his hand while Alvarez himself discussed how he felt like he compelled to honor the franchise's legacy by continuing its most storied traditions (building huge sets, relying on practical effects over CGI whenever possible, centering horror above any other genre). Any substantial evidence of Alvarez's tremendous passion for Alien didn't really make into Romulus

Honestly until a wacky but fairly obvious twist that gives way to a fun final act that is a bit off the beaten path, Romulus feels like an Alien movie that was put through the Disney corporate car wash. There's comically inorganic fan service galore, the tension and gore almost never rise above a mild level and the way that it goes about returning to the franchise's original plot of "humans stuck on a space station with a variety of deadly but related alien creatures" is nothing more than blandly competent. While I wasn't exactly sure what Romulus would be like, a corporate-friendly Alien movie was about the last thing I expected from the guy whose made some of the nastiest, gnarliest mainstream horror films of the past 10+ years. 

As depressingly routine as Romulus is, there are several elements that manage to rise above its inherently safe nature. Cailee Spaney is the first person to since Sigourney Weaver retired from the franchise to properly fill the badass heroine role. Isabela Merced elevates a character that doesn't have much on the page by conveying sheer, visceral terror through her facial expressions and physicality.  David Jonsson gives a great, multi-faceted performance as an aging android whose torn between protecting his "sibling" (Spaney) and the interests of his corporate creators. Alvarez delivers really tight pacing and a couple of electrifying setpieces (the zero-gravity scene in particular is incredibly cool). All of the technical aspects from the animatronic/puppet creatures to the cinematography to the production design are outstanding. There are just enough really good things about this movie for me to be mad that it isn't much better.

Out of the Alien films I've seen (Resurrection remains my only blind spot), I'd probably rank Romulus fourth behind Alien, Aliens and Alien 3. While Romulus is more entertaining and better acted on the whole than Scott's past two entries, I'm not sure if this is really preferable to the vicious, vile mythmaking that filled Prometheus and Covenant. They may not have worked all that well for me personally (particularly Covenant-which bored the shit out of me outside of the infamous flute scene with Michael Fassbender), but at least Scott was trying to expand the scope of the series. Romulus is just an inoffensive Alien franchise greatest hits compilation that is a few standout performances and technical elements away from being completely forgettable. Alvarez is capable of more than being just a guy who delivers Disney their palatable, nostalgic franchise resetting film and if he gets the opportunity to make another Alien movie, maybe he'll prove that.                                      

Grade: B-

Jackpot! A sincerely goofy, playful R-rated studio comedy with real money behind it in 2024?!?! Say it ain't so! Jackpot! is an action comedy that weaponizes its endearing zaniness at every turn as it treats its heightened reality as a big sandbox for absurd hijinks. Awkwafina and John Cena fully surrender themselves to this nutty world where hordes of "normal" people leave their everyday routines behind to hunt down the winner of California's new statewide Grand Lottery that boasts a $3.6 billion jackpot and kill them in order to claim the fortune for themselves before the sundown deadline. Awkwafina plays the most recent winner of the Lottery while Cena is the "Lottery Protection Agent" she hires to help her stay alive until sundown. Veteran comedy director Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, Spy) captures the goofy chaos of this ritual through a string of slapstick-heavy fight scenes (no guns are allowed to kill the Jackpot winner, which helps maximize the creativity the stunt team headed up by James Young can bring to the combat) and Awkwafina and Cena are a well-matched buddy team that have a relationship that evolves in a surprisingly genuine manner. It's a shame that most of the jokes are more gently amusing than laugh-out-loud funny because this honestly would've been a really good movie if it were funnier.       

Grade: B-

The Union: Perhaps I'm currently dealing with an undiagnosed concussion or maybe the stink of Atlas lowered the bar for Netflix blockbusters to the point where almost anything with forward momentum and a production value that's above the latest Ryan Phillippe project feels like at least a minor victory for their brand, but I found The Union to be perfectly watchable. It's able to overcome a generic setup (A spy played by Halle Berry recruits her average joe high school boyfriend played by Mark Wahlberg for a crucial mission after the identities of everyone at her agency have been compromised) through its refreshingly unconvoluted espionage plot, solid action beats and Berry and Wahlberg's affable chemistry. It probably would be ill-advised to follow through on the sequel tease that's presented at the end of the film, but it works better than expected as an undemanding time eater.         

Grade: B-

Didi: Sundance's reigning U.S. Dramatic Competition Audience Award winner is easily the best movie I've seen in months. As somebody who was just 16 years old during the period in which this film takes place (summer of 2008), Didi was something that I deeply related to. Watching protagonist Chris Wang (Izaac Wang in a powerhouse breakout performance) handle this turbulent period where your relationship with your parents becomes combative, bad decisions are being made daily and your greatest fear is not looking "cool" invoked a lot of hilarious, uncomfortable and impactful memories from that time in my life. I told similar lies to try and impress/fit in with people, had stupid bullshit get in the way of my relationships with some of my best friends, engaged in pranks that were most definitely illegal and so many more feelings and situations that are depicted in the film. 

Writer/director Sean Wang boasts a reverence for these times that's infectious, but more importantly, he has the clarity and self-awareness to frame these events through the illuminating lens that adulthood provides. There's a real admiration for the plight of Chris' mother (the excellent Joan Chen)-who raised her kids by herself while her husband worked in Taiwan, crushing, embarrassing, soul-crushing honesty present in the scenes where Chris' lies blow up in his face and a needed reminder that while there are some embarrassing/painful consequences for your stupid teenage actions, not every mistake you make at the age will define the rest of your life. Seeing such a thoughtful, honest portrayal of the teenage experience from this period in time was a really beautiful and gratifying experience for me. An avalanche of summer blockbusters buried this one, but hopefully people discover this really special movie somewhere down the line.

Grade: A-

Thursday, August 22, 2024

2024 NFL Preview: NFC South

 Atlanta Falcons

2023 Record: 7-10 (3rd in NFC South)

Head Coach: Raheem Morris (1st season)

Notable Additions: QB Kirk Cousins, EDGE Matthew Judon, S Justin Simmons

Notable Departures: DE/DT Calias Campbell, QB Desmond Ridder, EDGE Bud Dupree

Biggest Reason for Excitement: A Quarterback Has Arrived!

The quarterback play during the first two post-Matt Ryan seasons in Atlanta has been brutal to say the least. Marcus Mariota, Desmond Ridder and Taylor Heinecke teamed up to provide some of the most inexcusably bad play you'll ever see at the position at this level. 2023 was particularly nauseating as Ridder and Heinecke combined for 17 INT's (tied for 7th most in the league), struggled to convert TD's in the redzone (29th in the league) and made countless miscues that aren't explicitly found on the stat sheet that cost the team games in what ended up being a 7-10 season for the Dirty Birds.

Aided by the luxury of having so little capital invested in the position, the Falcons took swift action to shake up the QB room following another underwhelming season. They shipped Ridder off to the Cardinals, relegated Heinecke to a backup role that doesn't guarantee him a roster spot in 2024 and most importantly, axed HC Arthur Smith to ensure the next QB wasn't running one of the least imaginative offenses in the league. Given the current build of their roster and cap situation, they naturally went to the free agent market to get their new QB and end up landing the top prize available: Kirk Cousins.

While Cousins being a 36-year-old coming off a torn Achillies certainly makes this addition less exciting than it would've been a year ago, he's still set to be an immediate major upgrade. Cousins is the epitome of efficiency, boasting a career completion of 66.9%, thrived in Minnesota under a similar, if not identical system that Zac Robinson will be running here and above all, provides this team with a level of poise and command under center they've lacked in each of the past 2 seasons. Cousins also benefits from coming to Atlanta as they have a good offensive line that won't get him killed, solid weapons for him to throw/handoff to and a defense that has the potential to take a huge step forward this season with the additions of talented vets Justin Simmons and Matthew Judon. As long as Cousins isn't completely hobbled by his Achillies, the Falcons should have their best explosive offense in years.                

Biggest Reason for Concern: Hiring Raheem Morris

Atlanta had arguably the most appealing head coaching vacancy in the league this offseason. The roster is in pretty good shape overall, they had a top 10 pick in this year's draft, the NFC South remains a wide-open division and Arthur Blank has a reputation of being of one of the most level-headed owners in the league. After very publicly passing up on the opportunity to hire Bill Belichick-a move that I fully agree with given how the final chapter of his tenure with the Patriots played out, they made kind of a head-scratching hire in Raheem Morris. Blank himself said that his familiarity with Morris from his previous stint with the team in a variety of roles including assistant head coach, defensive coordinator and wide receivers coach from 2015-20 under Dan Quinn was pivotal in him landing the job. That's telling because there's nothing about Morris' resume that screams strong head coaching candidate.

Over the past 3 seasons, Morris served as the DC for the Rams. While he was around for their Super Bowl victory in 2021, his defenses weren't a big part of any winning they did while he was there. They never ranked higher than 15th in scoring defense during his tenure and their pass defense was consistently below average (20th-22nd every year) despite having some legit secondary talent including Jalen Ramsey, Darious Williams and Jordan Fuller over that span. Even his biggest area of strength in rush defense regressed to the low teens (13th and 12 respectively) after finishing 6th in 2021.

The other argument against Morris is his previous head coaching gigs. His greenness can be attributed to his struggles with the Bucs from 2009-11 as he was just 33 when he was hired for that gig, but he also struggled when he took over for Quinn on an interim basis for the final 11 games of 2020. His overall record between those stints? 21-38 and 10 of those wins came in his sole winning season back in Tampa in 2010.

Plenty of people will be willing to give Morris the benefit of the doubt and that's fair. What happened in Tampa wasn't entirely his fault as Josh Freeman was a bust and the defense/rushing game didn't have the horses and his interim stint with the Falcons wasn't as bad it looked on paper as they were largely competitive in those games and were often let down by their vast lack of talent in the secondary. But still, the man has yet to elevate the talent he's been given and that paired with his questionable handling of rookie QB Michael Penix Jr during the preseason along with the inexperience of his coordinators (Robinson, Jimmy Lake) are plenty of reason to question whether or not Blank made the right choice to get his talented team over the hump.         

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Getting Drake London, Kyle Pitts and Bijan Robinson More Involved

As bad as the QB's were during his final 2 years on the job, a huge part of Smith's failure as a coach was the gross mishandling of his weapons. Last year was particularly amusing as he rarely drew up plays for Drake London, often deployed Kyle Pitts as a decoy in favor of using Jonnu Smith as a receiver and regularly subbed out Bijan Robinson in order to give Tyler Allgeier touches. It was a baffling and infuriating experience to watch each week and the #1 reason why Smith punched his ticket out of Atlanta after the first few weeks of the season.

What Zac Robinson and Cousins need to do to turn this group around is simple: Get their 3 recent 1st round picks the ball. Throw London 50-50 balls downfield and in the redzone. Put Pitts out wide and in the slot and let him remind the world that he put up 1,000+ YDS as a rookie back in 2021. Give Bijan Robinson the opportunity to lead a backfield and show off the versatile skill set that made him the most hyped up running back to enter the league since Saquon Barkley. Giving these guys the opportunity to make plays after basically refusing to do so over the past 2 seasons (just 1 in the case of Bijan Robinson) could elevate this group an absurd amount in no time at all and retroactively make Smith's tenure look even worse.

Bottom Line:

As valid as the skepticism surrounding Raheem Morris is, Arthur Smith had this team playing near-500 football with awful QB's. Kirk Cousins' arrival along with a McVay acolyte running an offense that prioritizes getting their talented skill position players the ball alone should be enough to put this team in the division title race.          

Carolina Panthers 

2023 Record: 2-15 (4th in NFC South)

Head Coach: Dave Canales (1st season)

Notable Additions: WR Diontae Johnson, EDGE Jadeveon Clowney, G Robert Hunt

Notable Departures: EDGE Brian Burns, ILB Frankie Luvu, CB Donte Jackson

Biggest Reason for Excitement: The Roster Has Unquestionably Improved from 2023

Outside of some of young pieces on defense (Derrick Brown, Jaycee Horn, Brian Burns), the Panthers roster was in pretty dire shape in 2023. Pair that lack of talent in most areas with a uniquely dysfunctional situation that led to a head coach getting shitcanned in-season for the 2nd straight year and you have yourself the formula for a 2-15 football team! Given that they were bringing in another new head coach and had zero 1st round pick to work with after giving it to Chicago in the deal to move up and select Bryce Young last year, free agency and cheap trades for diminished veteran assets had to be their primary method of player acquisition. While you could argue that they had to overpay to get these guys to come play for them (a Panthers tax if you will), they were ultimately able to upgrade this roster.

Robert Hunt and Damien Lewis immediately adds some much-needed meanness to their shaky interior offensive line. Diontae Johnson-who they nabbed from the Steelers for a 6th round pick and longtime starting cornerback Donte Jackson-gives the receiving corps a true vertical threat with a history of getting peppered with targets that should step into the role that Mike Evans flourished in under Dave Canales in Tampa last season. Jordan Fuller should provide the level of stability and pop at the strong safety position they'd hoped Vonn Bell would give them last year. Troy Hill and Dane Jackson-who is currently dinged up and may miss the start of the year-slot in nicely alongside a hyperphysical top corner in Jaycee Horn and should help this corner group remain one of the sneaky best units in the league. While not without their concerns over effort and durability respectively, Jadeveon Clowney and Josey Jewell were good value veteran additions to replace ascending talents Burns and Frankie Luvu in the starting lineup.

How their draft picks will factor into things this season is a much murkier situation. Xavier Legette is expected to start at outside receiver alongside Johnson, but he's a really raw prospect who missed about 2 weeks of practice time earlier in camp with a foot injury and has yet to play a snap in the preseason. Running back Jonathan Brooks is expected to miss at least the first month of the season as he recovers from the ACL tear that ended his final year at Texas last fall. Ja'Tavion Sanders has made some fans on the Panthers beat with his incredible athleticism, but currently sits behind Ian Thomas and Tommy Tremble on the TE depth chart. The final members of their 2024 draft class (Chau Smith-Wade, Jaden Crumedy, Michael Barrett) might not even be on the Week 1 roster. At the very least, Legette and Brooks should get plenty of chances to contribute once they're healthy and that's 2 more rookie skill position players with high ceilings than they had last year. 

Are these additions enough for Panthers fans to get "excited" about the team? Probably not. But it is enough of a reason to have slightly less contempt for the organization as the season approaches and those are the kinds of tiny moral victories people rooting for bad teams with bad owners need to hold onto in order to delay the onset of their annual nervous breakdown over the product that's on the field by at least a few weeks. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: David Tepper's Continued Meddling in the Operation

What was previously an open secret in league circles has become common knowledge over the past year: David Tepper involves himself heavily in the Panthers day-to-day football operations. His last head coach Frank Reich stated that he had weekly 1-on-1 meetings with Tepper to discuss the team's progress, game plans, etc. The Athletic reported in December of last year that the Panthers had a ton of cutthroat in-fighting among their front office, with much of the divide being over who was loyal to Tepper and who was not. There are even rumblings that Tepper has made playcalling suggestions to the staff and demanded the team draft Young over C.J. Stroud with the 1st overall pick in 2023. 

Based on the events of this offseason, Tepper will not be beating the meddler accusations anytime soon. Back in January, he fired GM Scott Fitterer and promoted assistant GM Dan Morgan to fill the role. Given the rumblings surrounding the culture of their front office, it's reasonable to assume Morgan got the job due to his loyalty to Tepper.

On the head coaching front, the hiring of Canales is also suspicious. While Canales did a pretty decent job as the Bucs OC last season and worked under Pete Carroll in Seattle in various roles on offense over the prior 12 seasons, his resume doesn't have the same pop as say Ben Johnson's and Dan Quinn's do, which makes him more suspectable to be beholden to the whims of Tepper than a more respected seasoned coach. 

Lastly, there's the absolutely fucking hilarious confrontation that Tepper had with some Charlotte restaurant employees around the time of the draft in late April. The story goes as follows: The Dillworth Neighborhood Grille put the message "Please let the Coach & GM Pick this Year" on the marquee undeneath their sign. Assuming it was directed at him (it was), Tepper went into the restaurant and asked to talk the owner. The owner-who is a Panthers season ticket holder-had left for the day and upon being told this, Tepper shook the bartender's hand and left. Security camera footage of the incident was released online, and it featured one particularly memorable image of Tepper taking someone hat's off of their head. There's really no way to spin this story where it looks for good for Tepper. This is the kind of behavior that reenforces his image as a short-tempered narcissist who is a nightmare to deal with. If I were a Panthers fan, I would start lobbying for him to sell the fucking team immediately because this shit doesn't look like it's going to get any less ugly anytime soon.                    

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Dave Canales "Fixing" Bryce Young

Bryce Young's rookie campaign wasn't merely disappointing, it was downright nightmarish. To put it simply, he just looked overwhelmed by the task of playing quarterback in the NFL. He was skittish under center, showed questionable touch on his throws as evidenced by his 59.8 CMP% and took quite a few unnecessary sacks as a result of his indecisiveness. Was this failure all his fault? Far from it. His porous offensive line was the primary reason he got sacked 62 times in 16 games, all of the reshuffling with the coaching staff/playcallers throughout the season made getting into a real rhythm damn near impossible and having a geriatric Adam Thielen as his top weapon ensured that the passing game had zero dynamism whatsoever (Carolina agreeing to include D.J. Moore in the deal that landed them Young is the most head-scratching part of that already infamous, potentially historically significant trade). Regardless of how ugly shit was in Carolina last year, Young was bad enough where the alarm bells about his NFL future are already sounding.

Ironically, whatever appeal the Carolina job had around the league had to be largely tied to Young. Small stature aside, the kid had a lot of tools (accuracy, quick release with a clean throwing motion, pocket awareness, decision-making, ability to avoid contact in the rushing game) he showed off at Alabama that can translate to the pro game. Canales clearly believes he can get Young back on track and his recent resume is a strong argument that he will be able to do that. Baker Mayfield put together a strong comeback campaign that was arguably his best season as a pro under Canales in Tampa last season and the year before that, Canales was integral in helping Geno Smith thrive in his promotion to Seahawks starting quarterback after 3 years backing up Russell Wilson. Whether he can run a whole operation or even call plays at a high level is up for debate, but Canales can coach up QB's and that's the #1 thing the Panthers need him to do this season. 

The biggest thing working against Canales and Young is this rebuilding team doesn't have the horses for him to right the ship. Hunt and Lewis' addition won't mean much if Ikem Ekonwu continues to struggle at LT, Johnson's asking price was so low for a reason (brutal drops, generally erratic play) and as a 1st round pick, Legette is getting handed an awful lot of responsibility right away for a guy who had 423 YDS over 41 games at South Carolina from 2019-22 in prior to his 71 REC/1,255 YDS/7 TD breakout campaign in 2023. Nobody is expecting Young to light the world on fire in 2024, but if he can begin to acclimate himself to this still less than favorable situation, there will be some reasons for sincere optimism surrounding what him and Canales can do together moving forward.

Bottom Line:

Their frisky defense and improved roster should allow them to win more than 2 games this year. That's about the nicest thing I can say about this team right now.                       

New Orleans Saints

2023 Record: 9-8 (2nd in NFC South)

Head Coach: Dennis Allen (3rd season)

Notable Additions: EDGE Chase Young, LB Willie Gay, G/C Lucas Patrick

Notable Departures:  WR Michael Thomas, QB Jameis Winston, S Marcus Maye

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Depth Additions on Defense

Solid defense has been a hallmark of the Saints since 2017 and that didn't change in 2023 despite the addition of a new DC in Joe Woods. Strong drafting and free agent pickups from Mickey Loomis on this side of the ball and Dennis Allen's unflashy proficiency as a defensive playcaller has granted them the rare gift of sustained success on a side of the ball that is often shortchanged in this offensive-minded era of NFL football. Since their corps remains good at all three levels, Loomis focused the majority of his efforts this offseason on adding depth pieces. 

This offseason arguably marked one of Loomis' productive shopping sprees for complementary players. Chase Young is a bit of a diminished asset after a couple straight erratic, injury-riddled seasons following his DROY campaign in 2020, but he looked pretty good in his first career 16-game season in 2023 and appears set to take on a situational pass-rushing role in New Orleans, which could very well maximize his effectiveness. Willie Gay adds some additional athleticism to their linebacking corps and his ability to blitz off the edge and make splashy plays that lead to turnovers gives them a different style of player than they have with their all-around ace duo DeMario Davis and Pete Werner at the other 2 starting spots. Rookie Kool-Aid McKinstry had the distinction of being the only defensive player the Saints took in the first four rounds of the draft and while he may struggle to earn playing time out of the gate with Marshon Lattimore, Alontae Taylor and Paulson Adebo locked into starting spots, his tenacity and toughness should make him an asset in subpackages right away.

    Incorporating this talented trio into a group that ranked 8th in scoring defense and suffered zero major losses from last year's unit should do wonders for their quest to secure another top 10 finish this season.              

Biggest Reason for Concern: Whatever the Hell is Going on at WR behind Chris Olave

When was the last time the Saints had more than 1 legit productive WR on their roster? Maybe 2016 when they had Brandin Cooks and Michael Thomas? Since Cooks got traded to the Patriots in the spring of 2017, they just always seem to be content with having the one alpha (Chris Olave currently fills that role) they can feed and kind of just throwing shit at the ball and hoping something sticks at the other spots (Tre'Quan Smith, Marquez Callaway, 33-year-old Emmanuel Sanders in 2020, roughly a half dozen others). And they can't even float out the hypothetical lifeline of Thomas providing a huge spark upon his return to action as they finally cut bait with the 2x All-Pro in March following 4 straight injury-riddled, unproductive seasons!

This year's crop of possible WR2 and WR3 options does little to inspire confidence that their run of having 1 reliable WR is going to come to a close in 2024. 

After just 2 seasons in the league, Rasheed Shaheed is already a known commodity. He's the guy who makes long catches and highlight-reels plays in the return game from time to time. When he's not doing that, you probably won't notice he's out there at all. His game-breaking speed is valuable and will earn him a considerable number of reps once again, but he doesn't have the skill set to be a consistent WR2. 

Currently slotted into the third starting receiver spot is A.T. Perry. The 2022 6th round pick is somebody who the Saints seem to have a lot of faith in after he posted 12 receptions, 246 YDS and 4 TD's over the final 8 games of his rookie season. As impressive as those YPC and TD totals are, Perry has only played sparingly and almost exclusively been deployed as a deep-ball target. His imposing size (6'5, 205 lbs) and leaping ability could make him a huge mismatch for opponents, but he hasn't earned enough reps to have any sort of real idea what he's capable of bringing to the table in a featured role.

Rounding out the expected depth chart is a pair of cheap veteran journeyman in Cedrick Wilson Jr. and Equanimeous St. Brown. Wilson Jr. didn't play much in Miami on account of Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle being so good, but he did have a decent year in Dallas back in 2021 (45 receptions/602 YDS/6 TD's) that flashed his potential as a possession receiver while St. Brown shares Shaheed and Perry's affliction of being exclusively a deep target just with less splash play potential.

So, what does this group have other than a lot of redundances behind the all-around WR1 Olave? Beats me, but I will say that only Perry is enough of an unknown to sell as a true possible WR2 option. Good luck to Klint Kubiak, Derek Carr and the receivers themselves in their pursuit to make this work, but it just doesn't feel at all like it's going to.                    

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Revamped Offensive Line Actually Coming Together

Outside of center Erik McCoy having a terrific rebound season after a horrid 2022, the Saints offensive line had a brutal showing in 2023. None of their running backs averaged more than 3.9 YPC, 2022 1st round pick Trevor Penning couldn't get on the field until Ryan Ramcyzk blew out his knee in December, Ceaser Ruiz was once again one of the worst guards in football and James Hurst closed out his NFL career by playing at a reliably below average level in just his second ever season starting at guard. Carr's pressure (15.3%) and sack (5.4%) rates were pretty low, but that's more of a product of his tendency to get rid of the ball quick than them being stout in pass protection. 

With Andrus Peat exiting in free agency, Hurst's aforementioned retirement and Ramcyzk reportedly facing the possibility of a forced early retirement as he struggles to recover from offseason knee surgery, the Saints will be trotting out a largely overhauled group at o-line this season. Sole remaining 2023 Week 1 starters McCoy and Ruiz are currently projected to be joined by Tailese Fuaga (left tackle), Lucas Patrick (left guard) and Penning (right tackle). 

On paper, the confidence level in their new starters is all over the map. Fuaga was as steady as they come over his 2 years starting at Oregon State. The original expectation is that he was going to play at right tackle to begin his career, but he showed well enough as a pass-blocker and is polished enough in his technique to be confident in his ability to hold up on the left side as a rookie. Patrick was a trainwreck whenever the Bears were forced to play him at either center or guard over the past 2 seasons, but maybe he'll mirror Sam Mustipher and suddenly excel upon leaving the Windy City. Penning however is the scariest of all since the team thought so little of him around this time last year that they kicked Peat-who stunk at guard for most of his career-over to left tackle where he hadn't played since he was at Stanford 9 years earlier. There's no way Penning would be playing if Ramcyzk was healthy and his status as a high draft pick just 2 short years ago has got to be why he's getting the nod over the likes of his not entirely green backups Landon Young and Olisaemeka Udoh-who've logged 7 and 18 career starts respectively.

Like their receiver group, the odds of them putting it together upfront after their struggles last year aren't good. In fact, PFF predicted them to be the worst line in football this season back in June. But if it somehow does work, this offense could be radically transformed. They were already good at moving the ball and scoring points with a poor offensive line. Just imagine how dangerous they be with the ability to run the ball effectively and Carr having more time to throw.                    

Bottom Line:

The Saints are too talented to be bad but too flawed to be good, leaving them stuck smack dab in the middle of the league once again.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

2023 Record: 9-8 (1st in NFC South)

Head Coach: Todd Bowles (3rd season)

Notable Additions: S Jordan Whitehead, CB Bryce Hall, G Ben Bredeson 

Notable Departures: EDGE Shaq Barrett (retired), CB Carlton Davis, ILB Devin White

Biggest Reason for Excitement: All of their Most Important Free Agents Re-Signed

The Buccaneers exceeded expectations in their first post-Tom Brady season by winning the NFC South and making it to the Divisional Round of the Playoffs. The way that they played with energy and purpose on both sides of the ball despite the perception that they were heading back to the dregs of the league following Brady's retirement spoke highly of not only the character of their roster, but what Todd Bowles is capable of as a coach and leader. Proving their worth as a club made retaining their current corps their top priority this offseason and they pulled it off without any noticeable issues whatsoever. Every key contributor from last year's team (Antonie Winfield Jr., Mike Evans, Baker Mayfield, Lavonte David) that hit free agency this offseason had signed a new deal by March 13th. Jason Licht deserves credit for meeting each player's asking price in short order and ensuring that they could quickly turn their focus to how they can build on their 2023 success in 2024.          

Biggest Reason for Concern: Liam Coen taking over at OC

Dave Canales landing the Panthers HC gig after 1 season as Bucs OC came as a sort of a shock. The 41-year-old did good work to get Mayfield back on track after a rough couple of years following his 2020 breakout campaign and boost the scoring offense 5 spots from where Byron Leftwich had them in 2022 (25th to 20th), but was it enough to elevate him to head coaching status? Probably not. Regardless of his head coaching qualifications, losing Canales left them with a big, unexpected void to fill on their staff and they ended up landing one of the more coveted names on the market in Liam Coen. 

Like a third of the offensive coaches in the league right now, Coen being such an in-demand name stems from to his time working under Sean McVay with the Rams. Coen served as an assistant WR coach, assistant QB coach and OC across his 4 seasons in LA. The problem with Coen is that we've already gotten a glimpse of what he can be once he steps out of the virtuoso coach's shadow, and the results haven't been pretty so far.

Coen spent 2 seasons as the OC at the University of Kentucky in between his 2 stints with the Rams in 2021 and 2023. His most notable accomplishment there was guiding Will Levis to the best year of his college career in 2021 as Kentucky went 10-3 and won the Citrus Bowl versus Iowa. Aside from that, Coen's resume at Kentucky isn't all that impressive. His offenses ranked 36th and 58th respectively in scoring in D1 and averaged just 23.1 PPG against ranked opponents during his entire tenure (their overall scoring average was 30.7). Defenders of Coen will state that he coached in the SEC at a school that didn't have the talent of Georgia, Alabama, LSU or Tennessee and while that's not an unreasonable point, the level of competition is much higher in the NFL and putting up above average numbers in college doesn't positively signal that he'll be able to handle the rigors of scheming and calling plays in the pros, which is something he hasn't done before. 

History remains on Coen's side as he's far from the first McVay assistant to struggle elsewhere before hitting their stride. Matt LaFluer was an awful OC with the Titans before he got the Packers HC gig. Zac Taylor faceplanted as the interim OC for the Dolphins and the OC at the University of Cincinnati before he joined McVay's staff in 2017. Kevin O'Connell oversaw the league's worst scoring offense in Washington back in 2019. It also needs to be noted that the same Kentucky offense with Levis slipped down to 112 in 2022 when Coen returned to the Rams. For the sake of the Bucs, they better hope what happened at Kentucky was just a case of growing pains and not an early sign that he wasn't cut out to be an NFL offensive playcaller.                    

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Baker Mayfield At Least Maintaining the Level of Play He Displayed Last Year 

All signs pointed to Mayfield returning to Tampa before he officially re-upped for 3 years in March. He got his career back on track there, showed a tremendous rapport with their pass-catchers (particularly Mike Evans) and they not only made it to the playoffs, but showed well upon getting there. His commitment to Tampa was further backed up by the choice of Coen to take over for Canales at OC. Coen was the OC when Mayfield played for the Rams at the end of 2022 and he's specifically credited him as the coach that helped him pick up the offense so quickly during his chaotic late season arrival where he was under center roughly 48 hours after signing with the team. Nothing shows respect for a QB like hiring one of his guys to run the offense and after having a front row seat to Brady bickering with Bruce Arians for 2 years over the offensive playcalling, Bowles likely didn't even consider another option with the near guarantee that Mayfield was returning to Tampa.

Armed with a new deal and an OC that he's familiar with; all Mayfield has to do now is show that 2023 wasn't a magical outlier. He was in this position once before in 2021 with the Browns and it didn't work out at all. The worst of his gunslinger tendencies were on display, his attitude was questionable and he ended the season on IR with a torn labrum. A few months later, the Browns traded for Deshaun Watson and his time as their franchise quarterback was officially over.

This situation with the Bucs is a bit different. Mayfield appears to have sincerely grown up after having his career damn near go up in smoke in 2022 after his terrible stint with the Panthers and he's playing with a group of excellent pass-catchers that he already has a great chemistry with. Plus, at the bare minimum, Coen knows what he likes to run and will put him in situations he's comfortable with, which wasn't always the case with his coaches in Cleveland. 

What would go a long way in boosting the odds of Mayfield continuing to play at a high level would be their offensive line taking a seriously step forward. Beyond Tristian Wrifs' (expected) clean transition from right to left tackle, this group was a god damn mess last season. Mayfield was pressured on a pretty alarming 21.6% of his dropbacks and got sacked 40 times while the rushing game finished dead last in the league despite starting back Rachaad White's admirable effort to find lanes that just weren't there. Whether the arrival of rookie Swiss army knife Graham Barton-who can play all 5 spots on the line and is currently expected to start for them at center-and veteran Ben Bredeson-who is coming off an abysmal season with the Giants-to take over for Matt Feiler/Aaron Stennie at left guard is enough to turn the tide will reveal itself in time, but even the mere idea of real room for White and co. to operate and less defenders getting into his face has to be euphoric for Mayfield.

What happens in 2024 won't explicitly define Mayfield's career, but it will say a lot about his capacity to grow and maintain success with the same team over a sustained period of time.           

Bottom Line:

Don't make the same mistake of sleeping on the Bucs that many people did last season. This is a pretty good team that has the chance to be great if they can solve their issues on the offensive line and at corner and Mayfield can put together another quality year at QB.   

Predicted Standings:

1.Atlanta Falcons (10-7)

2.Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-8)

3.New Orleans Saints (7-10)

4.Carolina Panthers (4-13) 

Monday, August 19, 2024

Fantasy Football 2024: Most Undervalued Players

Quarterback: Jared Goff (Lions (Yahoo: 103.5 ESPN: 149.6)

Although Goff has done wonders for his reputation since joining the Lions, he's still being relegated to QB2 level in fantasy. Goff has thrown for over 4,400 YDS and 29 or 30 TD's in each of the past 2 seasons, which even with his lack of meaningful rushing statistics makes him a reliable starting fantasy option that could even get up to the top 8 overall if another pass-catcher breaks out alongside Amon-Ra St.Brown and Sam LaPorta (Jameson Williams perhaps?). 

Honorable Mentions: Matthew Stafford (Rams), Caleb Williams (Bears), Jayden Daniels (Commanders)

Deep Rookie Sleeper: Bo Nix (Broncos)

Running Back: Zamir White (Raiders) (Yahoo: 70.0 ESPN: 77.7)

White first appeared on the fantasy radar late last season when he stepped into start for the injured Josh Jacobs over the final 4 weeks of the regular season. Over that stretch, White averaged 23.25 touches per game and cleared 100 scrimmage YDS 3 times. With Jacobs leaving for Green Bay in free agency and Alexander Mattison currently slated to be his backup, White should have a strangehold on the Raiders backfield touches in 2024. Given the Raiders QB situation (Gardner Minshew starting, Aidan O'Connell backing him up) and OC Luke Getsy's deep love of running the ball, White couldn't possibly find himself in a more ideal situation to contribute. TD's could prove to be an issue as White only scored once last season, but the near guarantee of a high volume of touches and considerable upside to turn into a true dual-threat back should make him a priority target for players waiting until the middle rounds to select their RB's.      

Honorable Mentions: James Conner (Cardinals), Tony Pollard (Titans), Gus Edwards (Chargers)

Deep Rookie Sleeper: Bucky Irving (Buccaneers)

Wide Receiver: Christian Kirk (Jaguars) (Yahoo: 80.0 ESPN: 100.6) 

Injuries put a damper on Kirk's 2023 campaign, which has subsequently done damage to his ADP. Kirk has been the clear WR1 in Jacksonville over the past 2 seasons when healthy and his established rapport with Trevor Lawrence/proven dynamism as a receiver should give him a leg-up on his new counterparts Brian Thomas Jr. and Gabe Davis in the target share pecking order. A 1,000+ YDS and 5+ TD's feels like the floor for Kirk if he plays in 17 games.  

Honorable Mentions: Jayden Reed (Packers), Diontae Johnson (Panthers), Khalil Shakir (Bills)

Deep Rookie Sleeper: Ja'Lynn Polk (Patriots) 

Tight End: Jake Ferguson (Cowboys) (Yahoo: 79.6 ESPN: 96.0)

The 3rd year tight end is coming off a nice 2003 campaign (71 REC/761 YDS/5 TD's) and with Brandin Cooks coming off an underwhelming season where his explosiveness and effectiveness appear to have taken a hit, Ferguson would be the frontrunner to be the Cowboys primary pass-catching option if CeeDee Lamb doesn't join the team before the start of the season or is showing signs of rust upon his return whenever that proves to be. Even if Lamb reports in the coming weeks and plays up to his typical elite level in short order, Ferguson's role in the Cowboys offense should increase as he enters his second season as a starter and if it does, the odds of him clearing his current overall late 6th-to-early 8th round ADP/TE8-TE10 position are great.   

Honorable Mentions: Evan Engram (Jaguars), Brock Bowers (Raiders), Luke Musgrave (Packers) 

Deep Rookie Sleeper: Ben Sinnott (Commanders) 

Defense/Special Teams: Bears (Yahoo: 140.4 ESPN: 165.4)

The Bears quietly had one of the best defenses in football during the second half of last season, with their takeaway rate (19) over that 8-game stretch being particularly impressive. Early returns from training camp and the preseason have me bullish that what we saw to end last year wasn't a fluke and this group really is among the NFL's top defenses. At their current dirt-cheap ADP on both of the major fantasy sites, Matt Eberflus' troops are worth taking a gamble on.       

Honorable Mentions: Vikings, Saints, Seahawks