Tuesday, August 13, 2024

2024 NFL Preview: AFC South

Houston Texans

2023 Record: 10-7 (1st in AFC South)

Head Coach: DeMeco Ryans (2nd season)

Notable Additions: WR Stefon Diggs, EDGE Danielle Hunter, RB Joe Mixon

Notable Departures: EDGE Jonathan Greenard, RB Devin Singletary, DT Maliek Collins

Biggest Reason for Excitement: The Arrival of More Veteran Reinforcements 

The biggest pleasant surprise in the NFL last season had to be the Texans. Most people thought they were at least a couple years away from competing given where their roster was at this stage of their rebuilding efforts, but in come DeMeco Ryans and C.J. Stroud and all of a sudden, they're winning the AFC South and advancing to the Divisional Round. When a young team exceeds expectations by such a wide margin, the front office usually gets the green light to invest in players that can complement the young corps. That's precisely what the Texans did this offseason.

GM Nick Caserio was hyperaggressive in adding talent to both sides of the ball from the onset of the new league year in March all the way up until early May. Defense was the primary area of focus as there were more clear areas where they needed to improve alongside young centerpieces Derek Stingley Jr. and reigning Defensive Rookie of the Year Will Anderson. 

Their biggest get was pass-rushing menace Danielle Hunter. While you could argue that it would've been preferrable for the Texans to retain Jonathan Greenard after his breakout 2023 campaign (12.5 sacks), Hunter remains in his prime at 29 going on 30 and has been one of the most consistently productive players at his position from 2018 on-picking up at least 10.5 sacks in each of his healthy seasons since then.

Ryans was also able to facilitate a reunion with Azeer Al-Shaair to fill the starting linebacker spot vacated by Blake Cashman-who followed Greenard to the Vikings in free agency. Al-Shaair is coming off a career year with the Titans (163 tackles, 2 sacks, 9 TFL's, 6 QB hits, 4 passes defensed) and returning to Ryans' system alongside Christian Harris-who started to really pop late last season-puts him in a great spot to build off what he accomplished last year. 

The rest of their moves on that side of the ball were about adding players with significant game experience to provide depth at important positions and/or compete for starting jobs. Denico Autry should provide a nice boost to their interior pass-rush (35.5 sacks from 2020-23) in mid-to-late October once he returns from his 6-game PED suspension. Folorunso Fatukasi and Tim Settle are both adequate run stuffers who aren't afraid to mix it up in the middle of the d-line. The backup corner group (C.J. Henderson, Myles Bryant, Jeff Okudah) behind projected starters Stingley, Desmond King and rookie Kamari Lassiter might not strike fear in the hearts of their opponents if they're forced into action, but they're all guys who've played a ton of reps recently (80 combined career starts since they all came into the league in 2020) and are young enough to improve under the tutelage of Ryans, DC Matt Burke and DB Dino Vasso.

As for the offense, the moves were much scarcer given how well Nico Collins, Tank Dell and Dalton Schultz gelled with Stroud and their o-line played. While there were less moves overall, there was arguably more splashes on this side of the ball. The most eye-catching name joining the Texans offense this year is none other than 4x Pro Bowl, 2x All-Pro WR Stefon Diggs. While Diggs will be 31 in November and is coming off his weakest season since 2019 (107 REC/1,183 YDS/8 TD's), he's still got plenty of gas left in the tank and provides the Texans with yet another wideout who runs great routes, can make plays after the catch and cause problems for DB's deep downfield. 

They were also able to land veteran back Joe Mixon in a trade with the Bengals. Mixon's struggles with efficiency (4.1 YPC for his career) and durability are well-documented, but he has a nose for the endzone (62 total TD's in 97 career games) and this Texans line is probably the best he's ever played with, which could up those average YPC numbers. 

Rounding out the Texans veteran additions on offense is WR Ben Skowronek. Bringing him up here may prove to be an exercise in futility as he's competing for a roster spot in one of the most crowded receiver rooms in the league (Robert Woods, Noah Brown, John Metchie III and Xavier Hutchison are also in the mix for the 2-3 spots behind their aforementioned starting trio). However, they did burn a 6th round pick to get Skowronek from the Rams in May and he flashed some potential as a slot target in 2022 before Puka Nacua showed up and stole his reps last year, so it wouldn't be all that surprising if he did ultimately make the team-especially with Dell coming off a broken fibula. 

This flurry of moves reenforces the obvious: This is the most exciting a Texans team has looked at this point in the season since at least 2019. And if these new vets can excel alongside their promising young talent, that excitement surrounding the Texans isn't going to depart the greater Houston area anytime soon.                        

Biggest Reason for Concern: Having Stefon Diggs in the Locker Room

Preseason football doesn't provide much besides comical overreactions and programming for the NFL Network when Good Morning Football isn't on. The overreaction headline coming out of Houston this weekend was Diggs engaging in a demonstrative conversation with Stroud on the sidelines. Again, it could be nothing as preseason red flags (or triumphs for that matter) often don't amount to anything at all. That being said, this is not the kind of thing the Texans want to see happening-especially before a snap of real game action has taken place. 

The biggest concern about acquiring Diggs was bringing him into the locker room. He's shot his way off of 2 teams now and his behavior in Buffalo in particular was detrimental to the team as he publicly complained about Josh Allen, disappeared from practice/camp without notice on several occasions and regularly engaged in shit like you saw on the sideline with Stroud. These things also undoubtedly factored into the trade's unusual draft pick compensation (Houston gave the Bills a 2024 6th rounder and 2025 5th rounder while the Bills SENT the Texans a 2025 2nd rounder) and restructuring of the 4-year extension he signed with Buffalo in 2022 that was supposed to kick in this year into a 1-year fully guaranteed deal that will make him a free agent after this season. All of this proves that the Texans would only take him if they weren't married to him long term and how desperate the Bills were to get rid of him.

Beyond the whole voiding of his contract extension and old team hurting themselves in the short term just to get rid of him thing, Diggs shouldn't have any trouble finding additional reasons to lash out in Houston. Barring a rash of injuries, his target share isn't going to be what it was in Buffalo. Collins, Dell and Schultz all thrived last season and they have the advantage of already having an established rapport with Stroud. While it would be a shock if Diggs was #4 in the pecking order, he sure as shit isn't going to be an uncontested #1 like he's been over the past 4 years and since he often wasn't happy with that arrangement, how the hell is going to feel about this?

Then, there's of course the relationship between him and Stroud. The reigning Offensive Rookie of the Year turns 23 in October and impressed a lot of people with his leadership and maturity last season. That means jack shit when dealing with Diggs. Has any other player that's played with Josh Allen complained about him? Not that I can recall, and this is somebody who was way more established when Diggs got to Buffalo then Stroud is now. 

Stroud might lose his shit dealing with him. Diggs might not respect Stroud because he's so young. They might even just not mesh as people. Safe to say, there's a LOT of ways this dynamic could go wrong, and it already might be off on the wrong foot!     

The cherry on top of reasons for Diggs' potential discontent is Collins got himself an extension at the end of May. Collins is 25 and did damn near nothing in the pros prior to his incredible 2023. Somebody with a "lesser" pedigree (for now at least) getting paid instead of him could really burn his ass as that's something that he's never had to deal with before. Keep an eye on the target share and interactions between these two moving forward because how their dynamic develops could ultimately dictate the functionality of this group this season.             

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: C.J. Stroud Avoiding a Sophomore Slump

Stroud's play as a rookie was the most impressive that I've seen since Andrew Luck back in 2012. His poise was remarkable, he elevated his teammates and most impressively, stepped up during crunch time situations over and over again. As great as he was as a rookie and as great as I believe he'll be moving forward, sophomore seasons can go awfully wrong for QB's. 

Plenty of guys are able to beat it and plenty aren't. It's not even really indictive of long-term career trajectory, it's just certain guys have to readjust how they play and process the game moving forward because things didn't go as smoothly for them in year #2 as it did as a rookie. Baker Mayfield, Daniel Jones and fellow OROTY Winner Dak Prescott are just a few of the current NFL Starters that regressed in year #2.

Stroud is very well-positioned to be one of the guys that beats it. In addition to his aforementioned attributes and the considerable war chest of weapons surrounding him, he has the luxury of having OC Bobby Slowik return for another season. Slowik's departure for a head coaching job felt inveitable given his work with Stroud and the Texans offense as a whole- taking them from 30th to 13th in scoring offense in his 1st season as a playcalller, but he elected to return to the Texans in late January after interviewing for the HC openings with the Titans, Falcons and Commanders. This is a huge win for Stroud and this offense as a whole as Slowik is a great playcaller that effectively runs the QB-friendly Shanahan offense, and he isn't burdened with the stress of learning a new offense for the 2nd straight season. 

Stroud also carries himself in a way where it appears that he's going to be allergic to complacency. The success and accolades he picked up last season were great and all, but they're ultimately meaningless if he doesn't follow it up with more great play. Plus, the last time Stroud was on a football field, he and his team were getting embarrassed by the Ravens in the Divisional Round. Those kinds of losses are the ones that haunt the great ones all offseason long and inspire them to be better moving forward. I believe Stroud is one of these people and his response this season will go a long way in affirming or adjusting that belief.                

Bottom Line:

Roster improvement and another year of C.J. Stroud in Bobby Slowik's offense with this group of players surrounding him has me buying into the Texans as a dark horse contender to come out of the AFC. 

Indianapolis Colts

2023 Record: 9-8 (3rd in AFC South)

Head Coach: Shane Steichen (2nd season)

Notable Additions: QB Joe Flacco, DT Rakewon Davis

Notable Departures: QB Gardner Minshew, RB Zack Moss, WR Isaiah McKenzie

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Michael Pittman Jr. Re-Signing

There's a fair amount of excitement surrounding the Colts receiver group coming into the 2024 season. Josh Downs emerged as a reliable possession option during his rookie year and was having a good camp before suffering a high ankle sprain last week that will likely keep him out until about Week 3 or 4 in the regular season while rookie Adonai "A.D." Mitchell is a potentially dangerous vertical threat with inside/outside capabilities that could carve his way into the starting lineup immediately if he continues to outshine Alec Pierce. The most exciting news however came back in March when top wideout Michael Pittman Jr. signed a 3-year deal to return to the Colts after being franchised by the team less than a week earlier.

While Pittman's numbers don't immediately jump off the page (336 REC/3,662 YDS/15 TD's through 4 NFL seasons), anybody whose watched the Colts play since he's been with the team knows how valuable he is to their operation. Opposing defenses have thrown everything they've had him at since he became a full-time starter in 2021 since the Colts have had no other true receiving threats on their roster during this time, and the kid has lived up to the challenge-hauling in 88+ catches a season, clearing 1,000 YDS twice (2021 and 2023) and posting a 69.4% catch rate over this stretch. Considering that he received 426 targets from a combination of Carson Wentz, decrepit Matt Ryan, Sam Ehlinger, Nick Foles, Anthony Richardson and Gardner Minshew during this time frame, those numbers are nothing short of miraculous.

Nobody has any clue if Richardson can play yet but giving him a true top wideout to grow with is imperative for increasing his chances of sticking in the NFL and Pittman is the kind of tough, reliably productive player you want on your team. Now, if the Colts can put another real threat on the field at WR, Pittman could go from unsung hero WR to undisputed star in no time at all.              

Biggest Reason for Concern: Anthony Richardson's Health

Here's a fun question for you guys: How many games did Richardson play from start to finish as a rookie? Really think about it for a second before providing an answer. Alright, let's proceed. The answer is ...................... 1! That's right, Richardson completed just 25% of the games he started last season. How can that be? Quite frankly, because the kid plays with absolutely no regard for his health. The way that he invited contact last season-particularly as a rusher-made Cam Newton look like the poster boy for caution. Durability was chief among the concerns with Richardson coming out of Florida and 2023 proved his critics correct with how it played out.

As he's set to return to action following a major shoulder injury that required surgery, the jitters surrounding Richardson's availability are even higher than they were a year ago. The rocket-armed Joe Flacco is probably a better insurance option than Minshew was last year, but you can't keep relying on the backup to bail out the #4 overall pick in the 2023 draft. The Colts invested in Richardson due to his absurd athletic tools and how much growth potential he had as such a young prospect (he just turned 22 in May). But the kid is not going to get an opportunity to use those skills or grow as a player in Shane Steichen's winning system if he doesn't start taking steps to protect himself.

 Deprogramming Richardson from using his elite size/speed (6'4, 244 lbs, 4.43 40 time at the 2023 combine) to run through would-be tacklers on the opposing defense is going to be really difficult. It worked for him in college. It probably worked even better for him at Eastside High in Gainesville, Florida. It's not going to work for him in the pros without him paying the ultimate price: his career. Newton probably shaved 4-5 years off his career with his playing style and he didn't suffer a major injury like Richardson did last year until his 6th season in the league in 2016. Richardson might not even make it to year #6 if he keeps playing like this and everybody in the Colts organization will be on the edge of their seats every fucking time he takes off downfield this season unless there's overwhelming proof that he's no longer trying to run through defenders.    

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Notable Improvement from the Defense

Given that he was a holdover from Frank Reich's staff, it's actually kind of remarkable that Steichen didn't fire Gus Bradley after last season. Bradley oversaw the 28th ranked scoring defense in the league for the 2nd consecutive year and there was really nothing they could hang their hats on overall as they actually regressed against the pass (11th to 16th) and run (21st to 24th) and only improved in the redzone (32nd to 17th). Firmly on the hot seat with a horrendous recent track record (no defense of his has finished in the top half of the league since back in 2019 with the Chargers), Bradley is going to dig really deep to save his job and elevate a team that seems to have the offensive side of the ball figured out after an impressive first year under Steichen and Jim Bob Cooter. 

There are a couple of factors beyond Bradley's control that are going to complicate their improvement efforts. Despite their 28th ranking for a 2nd straight year, GM Chris Ballard decided to effectively run it back with the same group last year. There appears to be some slight tweaks with Nick Cross replacing Rodney Thomas as the starting free safety, rookie Laitu Latu-who was the only defensive player they selected in the first four rounds-along with Tyquan Lewis should be heavily factoring into the EDGE rotation and former Dolphin Rakewon Davis replacing Taven Bryan as the top DT behind DeForest Buckner, but that's about it. Then, right out of the gate in training camp, their pass rush was dealt a big blow when Samson Ebukam-who led the team with 9.5 sacks last year and was arguably the best player on their entire defense-tore his Achillies.

The best hope for improvement lies with the young guys. Cross was heralded for his range and speed at Maryland and could provide the playmaking spark their safety group needs. JuJu Brents was playing pretty well as the team's top corner during the 8 starts he was able to make between hamstring injuries. Kwity Paye is a solid, all-around player on the edge who has future All-Pro potential if he can take his game to the level by upping his pass-rush win rates/sack totals. Latu has arguably the best pass-rushing technique of any one in this class and could be a special player in this league if the neck ailment that almost ended his football career back when he was at Washington doesn't resurface in the pros. If a few of these guys really pop and group leaders Buckner, Kenny Moore and Grover Stewart continue to play at a high level, maybe Bradley can conjure up some of his vintage magic, save his job and help this Colts team make the playoffs.     

Bottom Line:

  The Colts appear to be in a similar position as they were a year ago, which leaves them in the undesirable position of being competitive enough to be respectable but not quite good enough to make any real noise.   

Jacksonville Jaguars

2023 Record: 9-8 (2nd in AFC South) 

 Head Coach: Doug Pederson (3rd season)

Notable Additions: DE Arik Armstead, WR Gabe Davis, S Darnell Savage 

Notable Departures: WR Calvin Ridley, WR Zay Jones, S Rayshawn Jenkins

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Ryan Nielsen Being Hired as DC

Firing Mike Caldwell felt like a reactionary move after they failed to make the playoffs. They were firmly in the middle of the league in scoring defense (17th to be exact), their pass defense actually went up 2 spots to 26th despite top corner Tyson Campbell playing considerably worse than he did the prior year and missing 6 games with a hamstring ailment and their admittedly still inefficient pass rush netted 40 sacks, +5 from 2022. Regardless of the questionable fairness surrounding Caldwell's dismissal, Ryan Nielsen is an upgrade on paper. 

While they ironically finished just behind Caldwell's group in 18th in scoring defense, Nielsen got the Falcons defense to improve considerably in his 1 year on the job before Arthur Smith was fired. They jumped from 23th to 8th in pass defense, doubled their sack total from 21 to 42 and went from 14th to 4th redzone efficiency. Rush defense remained a problem as they were 20th in the league-a modest 3 spot improvement from 2022, their takeaway total (16-29th in the league) left a lot to be desired outside of Jessie Bates' 6 INT season and he failed to unlock several of the Falcons younger players (Richie Grant, Arnold Ebiketie, the entirety of the 2023 rookie class), but the good outweighed the bad on the whole.

Armed with a better group of talent in Jacksonville, Nielsen could get to really cook. Top free agent pickup Arik Armstead is the kind of interior menace that can really open things up for Josh Hines-Allen and Travon Walker on the edge, Andre Cisco could be in for an All-Pro year if he plugs in as seamlessly to his scheme as Bates did last year and Devin Lloyd provides him with the impact, field-spanning linebacker that he didn't have in Atlanta. There are some problems at corner that are going to have be worked out as Campbell's aggression led to him getting burnt too often last year and the release of Darious Williams-who was quietly excellent last season-has opened up this sticky situation where they have to rely on Ronald Darby to start-which is always a dice roll given his unpredictable play level and extensive injury history, and I'm not sold on Darnell Savage transitioning to this C.J. Gardner-Johnson-esque slot corner/safety hybrid role following back-to-back brutal years in coverage in Green Bay, but the Jags should feel good about Nielsen's odds of bolstering their defense from the ranks of the middlers.    

Biggest Reason for Concern: Putting So Much Trust in Gabe Davis and Brian Thomas Jr. in the Passing Game

The Calvin Ridley experiment in Jacksonville was a mixed bag overall as he disappeared for stretches of the season and wasn't always on the same page with Trevor Lawrence. Despite those blemishes, Ridley still logged 1,016 YDS and 8 TD's on 76 receptions for the year-which was good enough for him to sign a big deal with the rival Titans in free agency. #3 wideout Zay Jones was also cut after the draft following an injury-shortened 2023 that put a screeching halt to the momentum he built up from his career-best 2022 season.  

Ridley and Jones' presence may be missed even more based on who they got replaced with. Jacksonville double dipped in free agency at the top of the draft to find Christian Kirk's new running mates by inking Gabe Davis to a multi-year deal and selecting Brian Thomas Jr. with the 23rd overall pick. While these guys considerably increase their overall vertical speed, they're sacrificing a lot of dynamism in the process. Ridley is a tremendous route runner that can make plays all over the field while Jones specialized in making contested catches in the middle of the field as well as on the sideline in intermediate/stick moving pass situations. Davis and Thomas Jr. give you none of that. In fact, they may even be a complete redundancy. 

Davis is a known commodity after his time in Buffalo and quite frankly, when he's not catching bombs, you don't even realize he's out there most of the time. Nearly every catch he makes is easy and if he's not wide open downfield, he might as well be on the back of a milk carton. Splash plays are important and all, but paying at least $8 and up to $13.5 mil a year over 3 seasons for a guy who provides zero valuable contributions outside of about 20-35 times a year where he hauls in a long pass feels like bad value. 

As for Thomas Jr., his 2023 season at LSU raised a lot of eyebrows as he hauled in 68 receptions for 1,177 YDS and an NCAA-leading 17 TD's. There's a lot to like about this kid as he has some of the most eye-popping speed you'll ever see at this position and a huge vertical that allows him to highpoint the ball with ease. The problem is that Thomas Jr. had a hard time fighting through contact at times during college and his route tree was extremely limited-making his NFL prospects cloudy as hell at the moment. 

Trevor Lawrence has the arm to hit these guys and I'm sure that both of them will make some great plays this year. But how does bringing 2 deep ball specialists to replace 2 guys that had nuanced roles in this offense help the overall operation? If anything, it puts more pressure on Kirk, Evan Engram and Travis Etienne to excel since they're the only members of the passing game that have proven they can operate at multiple levels of the field. Making a move like this not just in such a vital season not just for the growth of Lawrence but the job status of both Doug Pederson and Trent Baalke is a bold risk that should factor greatly into the construction of the team beyond this season.           

Key Reaching to Their Ceiling: Trevor Lawrence Arriving

Trevor Lawrence is off to a perfectly fine start to his NFL career. He's 17-16 following the Urban Meyer debacle that ruined his rookie season, he won a playoff game versus the Chargers in spectacular fashion in 2022 and most importantly, he provided the stability the Jaguars with the stability they had lacked at the QB position since David Garrard's run of 2007-2010.

Lawrence's honeymoon from criticism and real expectations is over now that he's become one of the highest paid players in league history upon signing a 5 year/$275 mil ($142 mil guaranteed) extension in mid-June. The deal was unsurprising and necessary as Lawrence has played well enough to be a starter in this league, but anyone beyond the most ardent Jaguars supporters would be hard pressed to argue that he's currently an elite QB worthy of that kind of payday. 

He's been an average-to-slightly above average starter over the past 3 years. His passing yardage/TD totals are solid but unremarkable (4,000+ in each of the past 2 seasons, 25 and 21 TD's respectively in 2022 and 2023), his accuracy is a little scattershot (63.8% career, 65.95% over the past 2 seasons) and his turnover rate is pretty bad compared to most of his peers (24 fumbles/16 lost over the past 2 seasons, 14+ picks in 2 of his 3 seasons thus far). Right now, I'd put him in the same class with some other guys under 30 (Tua Tagovailoa, Kyler Murray, Baker Mayfield) that I think are good enough to start long-term but not good enough to win a ring.  

The kicker is that Lawrence has a good situation around him. Pederson is a Super Bowl-winning coach who runs a good offense. They've had weapons in the passing game over the past 2 seasons and their rushing attack is respectable, if not solid. Their offensive line could be better, but they haven't been bad enough to disrupt his rhythm and/or allow him to get decimated like say Joe Burrow has in Cincinnati or Russell Wilson did back in his Seattle days. Truly transcendent players have taken lesser groups than the ones he'd had here post-2021 to higher heights. Now is the time for Lawrence to prove that's he's the special talent he was crowned to be coming out of Clemson and not just long-haired Kirk Cousins.

   Bottom Line:

For better or worse, nothing about this Jaguars team feels overly different than the past 2 years. Anything higher than a 10-win season and quick playoff exit would stun me.       

Tennessee Titans

2023 Record: 6-11 (4th in AFC South)

Head Coach: Brian Callahan (1st season)

Notable Additions: CB L'Jarius Sneed, WR Calvin Ridley, RB Tony Pollard

Notable Departures: RB Derrick Henry, DE/DT Denico Autry, QB Ryan Tannehill

Biggest Reason for Excitement: The Front Office's Aggressive Investment in This Roster

Back-to-back losing seasons and a dead last finish in a division they'd easily won the prior 2 seasons was all the inspiration the Titans needed to shake things up considerably this offseason. Mike Vrabel got ousted after a generally successful 6 year run as HC and was replaced by a polar opposite coach in Brain Callahan (more on him in a minute). Most importantly, 2nd year GM Ran Carthon saw all of the issues this roster had in 2023 and the available cap space they had with Derrick Henry and Ryan Tannehill coming off the books and went absolutely bananas in free agency. 

It got to the point where it felt like 90% of the moves of note on the transactions log in the opening weeks of free agency were being made by the Titans. L'Jarius Sneed! Calvin Ridley! Chidobe Awuzie! Tony Pollard! Lloyd Cushenberry! Tyler Boyd! Kenneth Murray! Sebastian Joseph-Day! Mason Rudolph! Will all of these moves work? Probably not. Is it the smartest way to build a team? Not at all. But this was a team that needed a huge makeover after the past couple of years and they had the cap flexibility to make it happen, so Carthon did. The dedication to aggressively pursuing the top talent available at positions of need (particularly corner, receiver and offensive line) is admirable and if we end seeing a surprise playoff appearance from this team, the contributions of these free agents will likely be a big reason why.      

Biggest Reason for Concern: Brian Callahan

Maybe it's just my ignorance as somebody who doesn't cover football professionally, but why and how did Callahan get a head coaching gig during this cycle? Unlike somebody like Mike McDaniel-who became a darling in league circles despite being an OC who didn't call plays, I've never heard any pundits gassing up Callahan's role in building up the Bengals offense that's flourished under Joe Burrow or refer him to as a genius. Making the timing even stranger is that the Bengals are coming off a down year on offense, largely due to Burrow's injury, finishing 16th in scoring.

Was it a case of Callahan potentially soaking up the magical aura of Sean McVay after working alongside Zac Taylor for the past 5 years? A case of his status as the son of legendary offensive line coach/considerably less legendary head coach Bill Callahan being endearing to teams perhaps? Or maybe the Titans just wanted a coach that was radically different from Vrabel and they liked him more than Bobby Slowik or any of the other offensive-minded coached they interviewed?

Whatever the reason may be, bringing in a guy with zero playcalling experience at any level and a questionable resume (prior to being Bengals OC, he was a quality control coach/offensive assistant with the Broncos from 2010-2015 and a QB coach with the Lions from 2016-17 and Raiders in 2018) to lead the franchise and potentially build up a young quarterback is the kind of head-scratching big swing of a hire that doesn't work less often than it does in this league.          

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Will Levis Getting on Track

Fan or not, the highly polarizing Will Levis had zero chance to succeed last season. He was handed the reigns to a 2-4 team with a horrible offensive line, no proven pass-catching weapons outside of DeAndre Hopkins and one of the worst defenses in football when he made his first start in place of an injured Tannehill in Week 8. His numbers (1,808 YDS/8 TD's/4 INT's/58.4 CMP%) and record (3-6) as a starter reflect the crappiness of his environment and shouldn't be held against him. At least he'll always have that hilarious late season 4th quarterback comeback win over the Dolphins on Monday Night Football that ended up setting the stage for the 'Fins losing the AFC East crown and having to travel to Kansas City for the Wild Card round instead of staying at home to play Pittsburgh to remember his shitty rookie year by. 

Many of the investments made in this team were an attempt to put Levis in the best spot to succeed after a tumultuous first chapter of his career. Callahan was around for Burrow's development into a top 10 QB in the league. Ridley provides him with another proven weapon that can get open at multiple levels of the field and compete for tough contested catches in the redzone. Boyd is a damn fine possession receiver/checkdown option who remained reliable across several different regimes during his 8 seasons with the Bengals.  Pollard won't be able to fill the massive shoes of Henry in the backfield, but he's got a dual threat skill set and special burst that should be back in full capacity after he was slowed by his recovery from offseason ankle surgery for much of last season. Cushenberry was a legit anchor for the Broncos line and probably a top 5 overall center in 2023-which is shocking considering how he played in the 3 prior seasons.

Don't get it twisted, there are still several question marks surrounding this group before we even get to Levis himself. They are putting an awful lot of faith in Cushenberry after 1 good season and 1st round draft pick JC Latham-who carries the burden of being a tackle that played for Nick Saban at Alabama (if you don't believe this is a potential red flag, look up "NFL offensive lineman that played for Nick Saban at Alabama" and be prepared for a big shock when you look at the careers of nearly all the names that pop up)-to fix their dreadful o-line, the ages of their top wideouts (Hopkins is 32, Ridley and Boyd will be 30 in December and November respectively) are kind of alarming given how the rest of the group looks (Treylon Burks, Nick Westbrook-Ikhine and Kyle Phillips are expected to be the next 3 up) and there's the aforementioned concerns with Callahan's inexperience calling plays and being truly in charge of an offense.

As for Levis himself, the biggest thing he needs to work on his accuracy. The fact that his receivers weren't the best and he was trying to pull plays out of his ass on account of the garbage offensive line play didn't help matters, but he also showed questionable touch frequently. This isn't really surprising as accuracy was one of the biggest knocks on him coming out of college and those concerns were vindicated after last season. 

The other big thing he needs to improve is his decisionmaking. The INT total wasn't bad at all, especially for a rookie, but make no mistake, he was lucky to only throw 4. This kid is a certified gunslinger who has no problem chucking the ball downfield. It doesn't matter how many guys you have on your roster that can go up and get it, throwing up prayers on the regular is a bad way of doing business at quarterback, especially when you have pronounced struggles with accuracy.

Given Levis' status as a 2nd round pick, his ability to get back on track this year could dictate whether or not he's still a Titan next season. What a fun situation to navigate as a 2nd year player on a rebuilding team!    

   Bottom Line:

Despite the heavy amount of roster turnover and new coaching staff, I don't expect the Titans to make any significant strides forward in 2024. 

Predicted Standings:

1.Houston Texans (11-6)

2.Indianapolis Colts (9-8)

3.Jacksonville Jaguars (8-9)

4.Tennessee Titans (6-11)

Friday, August 9, 2024

Jenny Slate Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Jenny Slate-whose latest project "It Ends with Us" is in theaters now.

Jenny Slate's Filmography Ranked:

15.The Sunlit Night (D+)

14.This Means War (C)

13.The Secret Life of Pets (C)

12.Joshy (C)

11.Zootopia (C)

10.My Blind Brother (B-)

9.I Want You Back (B)

8.Landline (B)

7.Venom (B)

6.The Lego Batman Movie (B)

5.Hotel Artemis (B)

4.Gifted (B)

3.Ordinary Child (B+)

2.Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (B+)

1.Everything Everywhere All at Once (B+)

Top Dog: Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

The goofy weirdos behind Swiss Army Man pulled off the most impressive feat of their burgeoning career thus far by making a multiverse movie that somehow manages to seamlessly combine absurdist comedy, earnest family drama and stylized martial arts. A rewatch is definitely in order to see if a second viewing further unlocks this wildly creative, unique movie. 

Bottom Feeder: The Sunlit Night (2020)

This little seen indie dramedy about a New York painter (Slate) who is inspired to take a residency with an artist (Fridtjov Sahiem) in rural Norway following a string of abruptly developing crises in her personal life got crucified at Sundance in 2019, shaved 25 minutes off its runtime as a response to the poor reviews and eventually got picked up by tiny label Quiver and dumped onto VOD in July 2020 is as bad as its troubled history indicates. While Slate is charming in the lead role, the film has zero narrative focus (the number of subplots and characters that show up in this shit is mind-boggling) or idea what tone it's going for-resulting in a bizarre mess of a movie that tries to do far too much over its (reworked) brief runtime.    

Most Underrated: Ordinary Child (2014)

Slate's transition from comedian that was questionably fired from Saturday Night Live after 1 season to proper film actor who was long for Hollywood came in this great film that has unjustly managed to get lost in the shuffle of A24's widely celebrated library a decade after its release. Slate gives an achingly authentic performance as a stand-up comedian who elects to get an abortion after getting pregnant following a one night stand with a businessman (Jake Lacy-in what proved to be the first of his multiple great turns as a likable love interest) she met following her set at a comedy club she frequents and writer/director Gillain Robespierre does an excellent job of balancing comedy, drama and honest character work while treating its subject matter with the utmost sensitivity. Somebody should really get Robespierre off the TV mercenary circuit and greenlight another movie from her ASAP. 

Most Overrated: Zootopia (2016)

Outside of the delightful Big Hero 6, I've just never understood the love that the biggest Walt Disney Studios movies from the 2010's (Frozen, Moana, Wreck-It Ralph, Zootopia) received. In the case of Zootopia specifically, I found its racism metaphors to be heavy-handed to the point where they lose most of their intended potency, the comedy to be uneven and the characters to be kind of dull despite the solid work from its voice cast (Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, Slate, Bonnie Hunt, J.K. Simmons, Nate Torrance).    

Thursday, August 8, 2024

2024 NFL Preview: NFC North

Chicago Bears

2023 Record: 7-10 (4th in NFC North)

Head Coach: Matt Eberflus (3rd season)

Notable Additions: WR Keenan Allen, S Kevin Byard, RB D'Andre Swift

Notable Departures: QB Justin Fields, S Eddie Jackson, G Cody Whitehair

Biggest Reason for Excitement: They Might Actually Be Good

I'm going through a bit of an internal crisis at the moment. Typically, this is the time of the year where I lament the current state of the Bears. This team has mostly provided me with nothing but pain, misery and disappointment during my 19 years as a fan, so gloom and doom is my default setting when thinking about or discussing them. This season, it's the polar opposite and I'm fucking SCARED.

How did I begin suffering from Bears Optimism Syndrome? Well, to be honest, it started at the end of last season. They were 3-8 heading into their Week 12 contest with the Vikings, which happened to be right before their bye. They won that game 12-10 after Cairo Santos hit a field goal as time expired that was set up by a 36-yard dart from Justin Fields to D.J. Moore and that kicked off a 4-2 run to close out the season. That might not sound all that impressive on paper, but they showed a lot of resolve over this period and were playing some of the most cohesive, intelligent football they've played in years. They completely different team than the one that started as an 0-4 doormat that couldn't hang with any of their opponents and that really all you want to see from a team that's in the early stages of a rebuild.

Then the offseason rolled around, and shit started to get really crazy. It all started with the firing of their bozo OC Luke Getsy and swift action to hire Shane Waldron as his replacement. Waldron is a Sean McVay acolyte who revived Geno Smith's career and reinvigorated a passing attack that Brian Schottenheimer had eviscerated during his 3 years in Seattle. He's had some missteps with playcalling at times and his redzone/3rd down efficiency numbers-particularly from last year-are potential causes for concern, but the odds of him being a huge upgrade over Getsy, Dowell Loggans, Bill Lazor and just about every other jabroni that's held this post over the past 20 years remain very good.

The good times kept rolling in March when they started being very aggressive in free agency. Bringing in 2x time All-Pro safety Kevin Byard as a replacement for Eddie Jackson at free safety? Awesome!  He slots in great next to Jaquan Brisker and is a more consistent player than Jackson. 2023 All-Pro corner Jaylon Johnson hashing out his public issues with the front office and agreeing to a long-term deal? A very welcome surprise and well-deserved payday for one of the league's purest and most underrated true shutdown corners. Trading a 4th round pick for Keenan Allen? Wow, what an aggressive move that will provide their new QB with another proven weapon to place alongside Moore if he can stay healthy.  I wasn't as crazy about the D'Andre Swift signing considering how inefficient he was last season with the Eagles and his extensive injury history, but maybe he can work well in more of a rotational role alongside the returning back tandem of Khalil Herbert and Roschon Johnson.

There was already a lot of excitement surrounding the draft since everybody knew Caleb Williams was arriving following the trade of Fields. While I have my reservations about the backyard style he plays and how long he holds onto the ball, this kid is a physical freak who can make absurd throw off platform throws and accurately attack every level of the field. The Bears have never had a QB prospect this highly touted before and if he pans out, Ryan Poles is going to look like a genius for dealing the #1 pick that turned out to be Bryce Young in 2023. 

The surprising turn of the draft came in the lead up to their own first round pick at #9 overall. The Chargers electing to take Joe Alt at #5 and the Falcons dumbfounding selection of Michael Penix at #8 allowed top receiver prospect Rome Odunze to fall into their lap. Odunze was highly productive as a pure vertical threat/contested catch specialist at Washington, but he has some YAC/route running versatility that could be tapped into that could make him even more dangerous in the pros. Pairing a young receiver with massive upside with Williams is a brilliant move for the development of the rest of the team and I'm absurdly excited to watch them play together. 

The trades for Allen and Montez Sweat left them with limited picks the rest of the way, but the 3 they made to close out their draft were also really savvy. Kiran Amegadjie's athleticism and power allowed him to clean up against Ivy League competition at Yale- which makes him the perfect developmental tackle prospect, Tory Taylor led the NCAA in punt average, attempts and overall yardage last season at Iowa and Austin Booker is a raw yet powerful pass rusher that effectively only has 1 year of college experience under his belt after barely playing at Minnesota before transferring to Kansas to earn a starting opportunity in 2023 who could turn into an impact player if he continues to build out his arsenal of rush tools.        

Rounding things out was just last week when they extended Moore for 4 more years. This deal will tie Moore to the Bears through the 2029 season and by extending him early (his current deal doesn't expire until after next season), the team gains more cap flexibility moving forward. These are the kind of win-win scenarios for the team and player that almost never happen with the Bears and it's just plain weird to see an offensive player of Moore's caliber willingly commit to the team for the long-term.

Could all this optimism prove to be for naught? Of fucking course. This is the Chicago Bears we're talking about here. Failure is in their DNA. But there's just no way I can't buy into a team that appears to be building something not just for this season, but for the long haul.                   

Biggest Reason for Concern: Offensive Line

One major hangup that is preventing my Bears Optimism Syndrome from becoming stronger is the state of the offensive line. Quite frankly, I'm perplexed about how much the national media has pushed aside the offensive line when talking about the potential of this offense. A big part of the reason Fields is no longer the QB of this team is the play of the offensive line and the group that allowed him to get sacked 44 times in 13 games last year is more or less the same group that will be out there blocking for Williams this season.

 The only change from the Bears preferred o-line starting lineup from a year ago is the subtraction of Cody Whitehair. The center/guard finally got the boot from the team that drafted him after 8 seasons following a career-worst season in 2023. He was a stabilizing force on a line that lacked continuity for a long time, but those days have passed him by, and it was time for him to go. Replacing Whitehair will be one of two new veteran pickups: Ryan Bates or Coleman Shelton. Bates has been a backup guard for the Bills since 2019 and started 15 games in 2022 before being replaced by David Edwards last year while Shelton served as the Rams starting center last year. Neither guy is a particularly exciting option, but Shelton feels like a better choice since he's actually played center in the NFL before.

As for the rest of the line, it's a whole lot of blah. Braxton Jones has been a respectable left tackle that's far outplayed his 5th round draft position, but nobody is going to mistake him for Jonathan Ogden or Joe Thomas anytime soon. Nate Davis was the polar opposite of the reliable mauler that he was with the Titans as he was a huge liability at right guard last season. 2023 1st round pick Darnell Wright wasn't all that great as a rookie as his positive contributions as a run blocker were largely undone by his struggles as a pass blocker and gift for committing costly penalties (11, tied for 6th at his position). Left guard Teven Jenkins is the only proven commodity in this group, and I wish they could clone him. It also needs to be mentioned that all of these guys save for Wright missed time with injuries last season and Jenkins has missed 4+ games in each of his first 3 NFL seasons. Training camp has reenforced their durability as Davis is already dinged up to the point where Eberflus has labeled him week-to-week and Jenkins and Bates have had scares that held them out of portions of practice. Questionable talent and a consistent lack of continuity have been the thorn in the side of this group for at least 5 years now and it's going to take a whole host of good luck and some incredible coaching from Chris Morgan-who somehow managed to be one of the few holdovers from Getsy's staff-to reverse that trend in 2024.          

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Defense Picking Up Where They Left Off at the End of 2023

Over the last 8 weeks, a switch flipped with the Bears defense. During this stretch, they picked up 19 takeaways including a whopping 5 games with either 3 or 4 and allowed an average of 17.1 points per game. That's a far cry from a team that allowed an average 26.9 of over their first 9 games.  Some would say the turnaround coincided with the arrival of Montez Sweat-who picked up 6.5 sacks in 9 games, but as valuable as he was to them, the positive change went well beyond him. Individual players put their early season struggles behind them (T.J. Edwards, Jaquon Brisker), Eberflus got into a better rhythm as a playcaller and most importantly, they started to play with a real fire. It's a credit to Eberflus for not giving up on his guys and to the players for buying in after a tough start to the year.   

Heading into 2024, they have a great opportunity to pick up where they left off. They officially hired a new DC in Eric Washington-who spent the past 4 years with the Bills and most recently served as their assistant head coach/DL coach- to fill the spot Alan Williams was forced to vacate early last year (Eberflus will continue to call the defense himself like he did following Williams' dismissal after 2 games last year) and there's a couple new starters in Byard and Gervon Dexter around, but that's about it in the change department. With the learning curves, growing pains and off-field turmoil following Williams sudden exit from the team that contributed to their early season issues in 2023 out of the way, they can now focus on growing together. 

The best way for them to do that is to home in on the areas where they kept struggling while maintaining the precision and aggression they played with to close 2023. Young guys Tyrique Stevenson and Kyler Gordon are going to continue to get peppered with targets as teams shy away throwing towards Johnson and they need do to do a better job at not getting beat downfield. Somebody needs to help Sweat get after the QB. Dexter has to put forth better effort or he's going to continue to disappear for 95% of each game. Tremaine Edmunds needs to show that he's worth his contract and follow the lead of his running mate Edwards both in coverage and against the run. The foundation for one of the best defenses in the league is there. They just need to keep building that shit up so they can go from the basement to the penthouse.

Bottom Line:

If they can continue to build upon the progress they showed late last year and Caleb Williams proves to be the real deal, the Bears are going to be well-positioned to be a good football team that has a serious chance to make the playoffs this year.       

Detroit Lions

2023 Record: 12-5 (1st in NFC North)

Head Coach: Dan Campbell (4th season)

Notable Additions: CB Carlton Davis, DT D.J. Reader, G Kevin Zeitler

Notable Departures: S C.J. Gardner-Johnson, G Jonah Jackson, CB Cameron Sutton

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Ben Johnson is Somehow Still Here

There was feeling of relief when Ben Johnson withdrew his name from the head coaching search last offseason and returned to the Lions for the 2023 season. After once again leading the Lions to a top 5 scoring offense and being a pretty huge part of their run to the NFC Championship game, Johnson's departure from Detroit this offseason felt inevitable. Despite being viewed as the top candidate in this coaching cycle and explicitly billed as the preferred hire for the Commanders and Panthers, Johnson will return as the Lions OC once again in 2024. Passing on a single head coaching cycle is one thing, but two in a row?!?! That's pretty much unheard of. Whether it's because of Johnson's desire to "see things through" with a Lions team that has grown considerably over the past couple seasons or simply not liking any of the situations is behind his decision is up for debate (it's probably a bit of both), but retaining an elite offensive playcaller/schemer is a tremendous stroke of good fortune for a Lions team that is still reeling from the heartbreak from their NFC Championship Game collapse. Hopefully this will provide the players with extra motivation to win this year because the odds of Johnson passing up HC opportunities for a third straight year-particularly with the potential for the Eagles and Cowboys jobs to be available-are seemingly very low.       

Biggest Reason for Concern: Last Year Was Their Best Chance to Win

Watching the Lions go to the NFC Championship game was simply surreal. This team had been the downtrodden face of NFL doormats for decades now-not winning a playoff game since 1991 and then they suddenly strung together a run that got them within a game of the Super Bowl? I legitimately thought that I'd never see the day and I'm certain that the overwhelming majority of Lions fans felt the same way.

On paper, the Lions are in a great spot to keep winning. They've a pretty young roster that is in good shape for the foreseeable future following a flurry of extensions for key players (Jared Goff, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Penei Sewell, Taylor Decker, Graham Glasgow) over the past few months, Dan Campbell is a good coach that the players love to play for, and Brad Holmes has done an exceptional job of building this roster up through a combination of great drafts and the occasional smart veteran free agent pickup. However, there is a scary question that needs to be asked given this franchise's tortured history: What if last year was their best chance to win a Super Bowl and they blew it? 

Could this prove to be a silly alarmist point? Absolutely. Until the NFC Championship game last year, they were about as far removed from the average Lions team as possible and the turnover from that team to this one is relatively minimal. But this is a franchise that has been tethered to bad luck, sadness and tragedy forever. Curses that span multiple decades are damn near impossible to break, especially in sports. It would be the most Lions thing in the world to squander all of this talent and never even sniff the Conference Championship, let alone the Super Bowl again.      

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Legit Improvement from Their Corners

The only true crippling weakness the Lions had in 2023 was their corner group. Top outside corners Cam Sutton and Jerry Jacobs in particular got absolutely obliterated-allowing a combined 1,526 YDS and 11 TD's on 113 completions/173 targets (65.2 CMP%, 104.4 QBR allowed). Their weaknesses were particularly on display in the playoffs when they allowed a pair of 145+ YD receivers (Puka Nacua-181, Mike Evans-147) over 3 games (Deebo Samuel led the 49ers with 89 YDS in their NFC Championship loss).

After this corner group proved to key contributors to their dismal 27th pass defense, a couple of big changes were made. RFA Jacobs wasn't tendered a contract offer and ended up signing with the Rams 11 days ago to compete for a backup job while Sutton got waived following a domestic violence arrest in late March (he signed the Steelers-where he previously played from 2017-22- in June and has since been suspended for 8 games as a result of the arrest). Late season fill-in starter Kindle Vildor also appears to be line to be demoted and might even be a cut candidate considering how many new faces are around now. 

Following all of this shuffling, the only corner returning to a starting role is 2nd year player Brian Branch-who was generally pretty good as a rookie outside of allowing a few big plays/long TD's. Rounding the rest of the depth chart at the moment is Carlton Davis-their new projected top corner who was acquired from the Buccaneers via a trade in March, Amik Robertson-a 26-year old free agent pickup who racked up 21 starts during 4 years with the Raiders (19 of which were over the past 2 seasons and rookies Terrion Arnold and Ennis Rakestraw Jr.-who were selected with the Lions first two picks in the draft this year at #24 and #61 overall respectively. 2023 free agent pickup Emmanuel Moseley was also expected to have a role after playing just 2 snaps last season before tearing his ACL, but he suffered a tore pec at practice on Tuesday and is likely out for the year once again. 

Based on capital spent to land them, Davis and Arnold seem like the most likely options to join Branch in the starting lineup. Regardless of how it shakes out, this group does seem poised to take a step forward. Arnold and Rakestraw Jr. are the perfect corners for a Campbell-coached team given the grit and speed that they play with, Robertson showed steady improvement each year during his time with the Raiders and while he's admittedly coming off a down year, Davis was a top 15-20 corner in the league during the bulk of his stint with the Bucs. If this overhauled group of corners can do their part to elevate this previously terrible pass defense and the run defense-which was already tough and added another elite run stuffer in D.J. Reader in free agency-can remain great, the Lions defense should not only escape the bottom 10 of scoring defenses but have a real chance of sniffing the top 10-15. 

Bottom Line:

       Last year was an encouraging sign of what the Lions are about right now, and it would be pretty stunning if they didn't win 10+ games and contend for the NFC crown again in 2024.             

Green Bay Packers

2023 Record: 9-8 (2nd in NFC North)

Head Coach: Matt LaFluer (6th season)

Notable Additions: S Xavier McKinney, RB Josh Jacobs, K Greg Joseph

Notable Departures: RB Aaron Jones, ILB De'Vondre Campbell, S Darnell Savage

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Joe Barry is Finally Gone

The numbers aren't overly damning for Joe Barry's time as Packers DC, but his time in Green Bay had to come to an end after 3 seasons. Their run D was trash for 2 straight years (26th in 2022, 28th in 2023) he didn't properly utilize his pass-rushing talent (Rashan Gary, Preston Smith) and their 3rd down defense was shockingly bad last season (25th in the league) for a team that was good against the pass and in the redzone. On top of that, their fans seem to hate him almost as much as they hated Dom Capers and Mike Pettine.

Whether or not Jeff Hafley is the right guy to elevate this pretty talented group of players is another question entirely. His NFL track record is spotty at best (he spent 6 years as a DB coach with the Buccaneers, Browns and 49ers under Greg Schiano, Pettine and Chip Kelly/Kyle Shanahan respectively) and this will be his first-year coaching in the pros after a 5-year stint in college as the Ohio State DC and Boston College HC. But for now at least, Packers fans should relish in Barry's departure while they still can.  

Biggest Reason for Concern: Jordan Love's Extension Blowing Up in Their Faces

Making Love the highest paid quarterback in the league (4 years/$220 mil/$155 mil guaranteed) after just 1 season as a starter is a real leap of faith by the Packers. It was also completely necessary. They've invested a ton of time in developing this kid, he put together a mighty impressive 2023 that culminated in two strong performances in road playoff games and he's a 25 going on 26-year-old that had just 1 year remaining on his deal.

While keeping Love in the fold was a no-brainer, having to pay him so much so soon after becoming a starter opens the door for a very uncomfortable situation if last year proves to be a fluke. We've seen multiple guys in recent years stumble immediately after cashing out (Nick Foles, Carson Wentz, Russell Wilson) and it put the teams that signed them to those deals in an incredibly precarious position once it became clear that they could no longer start for that team (Daniel Jones will join this list if the Giants jettison him following this season). With the significantly higher number in guaranteed money attached to Love's deal, severing ties with him based on a performance downgrade would make those aforementioned divorces look like mild headaches by comparison. Right now, all signs are pointing towards Love being a great QB in Green Bay for a long time, but the pressure for him to deliver is going to be significant now that the Packers have a serious financial stake in him.       

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Jordan Love Maintaining the Level of Play He Displayed Late Last Season

When the Packers were 3-6 following a Week 10 loss last season, I thought Love's tenure in Green Bay was going to be real short. As a Bears fan, this was great news. Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre hammered my team for decades and the mere thought of the Packers possibly enduring prolonged QB struggles like an average NFL team brought a huge smile to my face. The joy that came from entertaining this theory proved to be short lived. Love flipped the switch and became a stone-cold killer from that point on. Over the final 8 games of the regular season, the Packers went 6-2 with Love throwing 18 TD's against just 1 INT. He also put together the aforementioned pair of strong playoff performances including a legitimately flawless outing against the Cowboys in the Wild Card Round where he hung 272 YDS and 3 TD's on them on only 16 completed passes and 21 attempts.

While Love's play before this season-ending run was erratic at best, I believe that he's set up for sustained success in Green Bay. The game appeared to really slow down for him beginning in mid-November as his decision-making and accuracy improved significantly, Matt LaFluer has really proven himself to be a very good coach over the past few seasons, adding Josh Jacobs at running back should conceivably provide him with a more reliable option than the talented but oft-injured Aaron Jones and he has this unique opportunity to grow alongside a young group of pass catchers-several of whom (Jayden Reed, Dontayvion Wicks, Luke Musgrave) flashed major potential last season. If this kid does end up picking up where he left off late last season, then watch the fuck out because the Packers might fuck around and make it all the way to the Super Bowl.          

 Bottom Line:

As long as Jordan Love maintains the course he was on late last season, they should be really, really good.

Minnesota Vikings

2023 Record: 7-10 (3rd in NFC North)

Head Coach: Kevin O'Connell (3rd season)

Notable Additions: EDGE Jonathan Greenard, RB Aaron Jones, EDGE Andrew Van Ginkel

Notable Departures: QB Kirk Cousins, EDGE Danielle Hunter, ILB Jordan Hicks

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Long-Term Commitment from Justin Jefferson

After it became abundantly clear that Kirk Cousins wasn't going to return to the Vikings in 2024, rumors surrounding Justin Jefferson's future with the team started swirling. Several pundits around the country believed that the Vikings would go full reset mode by dealing Jefferson for a plethora of draft picks and/or that he didn't want to deal with the growing pains that tend to come from playing with a  young QB. The logic behind that didn't really make sense as Jefferson had never voiced discontent with the Vikings organization and a generational talent like him would be invaluable to whoever was set to play QB for the Vikes post-Cousins. That narrative began to lose steam after the draft came and went with no movement and died for good once Jefferson signed a deal that made him the highest paid WR in the league (4 years/$140 million/$110 mil guaranteed) on June 3rd.

This is the kind of move that reaffirms the Vikings commitment to winning. Jefferson hasn't gotten less than 1,400 YDS when he's played a full season, has the most receiving YDS of any player in NFL history through 4 seasons (5,899) and set an NFL record for fewest games played (10) to reach 1,000+ YDS in his injury-shortened 2023 campaign.  Letting that kind of game-altering weapon walk out the door would've been unforgivable. What's crazy to think about is that Jefferson just turned 25 in June and his best days could very well be in front of him. If his first 4 seasons prove to just be the warmup for Jefferson, he'll be considered underpaid before his new deal is up. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: Secondary

It's not a secret that Brian Flores likes to blitz the shit out of his opponents. He blitzed on 47.9% of all snaps last season, which was the 10th highest rate of any team since 2006 according to ESPN's Stats and Information. That approach provided mixed results as the group finished tied for 20th in sacks (43), but 9th in run defense. Given Flores' love of bringing pressure, the Vikings invested heavily in pass rushers this offseason. Free agent pickups Jonathan Greenard and Andrew Van Ginkel are both coming off career years and they made Dallas Turner-widely believed to be the top edge rusher in this class-the third defensive player off the board at #17 overall. 

Attempting to bolster the pass rush isn't just the strategy for upping the sack totals, it's apparently also their approach to fixing the secondary. That's right, despite finishing with the 24th ranked pass defense in 2023, the Vikings dedicated no significant assets to bringing in secondary help. Veteran corners Shaq Griffin-who was cut mid-season by the Texans last year before finishing out the year with the Panthers, Duke Shelley-who is returning to Minnesota after spending last year with the Rams, Fabian Moreau-who allowed 628 YDS on 39 receptions (60 targets, 65 CMP%) in just 11 starts with the Broncos last year- and Bobby McCain-who almost exclusively played on special teams last year with the Giants are the only new faces here and the latter three signed at the end of July! Digging through the scrap heap for veteran journeyman to put alongside de facto top corner Byron Murphy so close to the start of the season does not inspire a lot of confidence in the entire operation-especially when it comes to the standing of young corners Andrew Booth Jr. and Akayleb Evans, who've struggled to earn playing time in each of their first two NFL seasons.

Safety is a little bit less of a problem as Harrison Smith, Josh Metellus and especially Camryn Byum are coming off solid enough years, but there's still some real room for error with this group. Smith is at the age (35) where his play could bottom out at any point, Metellus really didn't do much before last season and the depth behind Bynum is concerning as Lewis Cine has barely played since entering the league in 2022. Playing constant zone coverage on the back end can only cover up for so many talent problems and the failure to invest in the back end of the defense could thwart Flores' plans to further elevate this defense in his second year with the Vikings.             

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: QB Play

There are really only 4 true QB competitions heading into 2024 (Broncos, Patriots, Raiders, Vikings) and this one may be most interesting of all. Unlike the other aforementioned teams, the Vikings have an elite offensive line that will be able to prevent whoever starts from getting killed and as Kevin O'Connell proved during last year's relentless QB carousel, he's capable of putting any QB that's plugged into his system in the best situation to win. Adding to the intrigue are the guys competing for the gig. Sam Darnold may be the single greatest case of a top QB prospect being dragged down by shitty coaching and o-line play/weapons in recent memory-which would make this situation an interesting test for his skills while rookie J.J. McCarthy has been touted as the kind of high floor prospect that can start right away. 

           Regardless of who gets the nod, they need to come in and run the offense efficiently. They have dynamic weapons at receiver in Jefferson and Jordan Addison (T.J. Hockenson is out indefinitely as he recovers from the torn ACL and MCL he suffered in late December). They have a 1-2 punch at RB in Aaron Jones and Ty Chandler that is shifty and explosive. They have the aforementioned powerhouse offensive line that will provide them with the time they need to make plays. It's sincerely one of the best situations in the league for a QB to walk into, all they need to do is step up and make plays and this team will be in business. 

Bottom Line:

 Kevin O'Connell had this team playing competitive football until about Week 16 despite having the trio of Josh Dobbs, Nick Mullens and Jaren Hall playing QB. There's no reason to think they aren't capable of putting together a winning record if Darnold and/or McCarthy are even half decent this year.

Predicted Standings:

1.Green Bay Packers (12-5)

2.Detroit Lions (11-6)

3.Chicago Bears (10-7)

4.Minnesota Vikings (9-8)

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

2024 NFL Power Rankings: Preseason

1.Kansas City Chiefs 

2.San Francisco 49ers

3.Baltimore Ravens

4.Detroit Lions

5.Philadelphia Eagles

6.Houston Texans

7.Buffalo Bills 

8.Los Angeles Rams

9.Miami Dolphins

10.Green Bay Packers

11.Dallas Cowboys 

12.Tampa Bay Buccaneers

13.Pittsburgh Steelers

14.Cleveland Browns

15.Cincinnati Bengals 

16.Atlanta Falcons

17.Jacksonville Jaguars

18.Seattle Seahawks 

19.Indianapolis Colts

20.New York Jets

21.Chicago Bears

22.Minnesota Vikings

23.New Orleans Saints

24.Los Angeles Chargers 

25.Las Vegas Raiders

26.Denver Broncos  

27.Tennessee Titans 

28.New York Giants

29.Arizona Cardinals 

30.Washington Commanders 

31.New England Patriots

32.Carolina Panthers

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

2024 NFL Preview: AFC North

 Baltimore Ravens

2023 Record: 13-4 (1st in AFC North)

Head Coach: John Harbaugh (17th season)

Notable Additions: RB Derrick Henry, S Eddie Jackson, T Josh Jones

Notable Departures: ILB Patrick Queen, G Kevin Zeitler, EDGE Jadeveon Clowney

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Adding Derrick Henry to Their Rushing Attack

Given how much talent they have under contract, their cap situation and prioritizing re-signing Justin Madubuike over anything else this offseason, the Ravens were pretty quiet in free agency. The lone truly notable signing they made before adding former Bears All-Pro safety Eddie Jackson right before the start of training camp was one that could have huge ramifications on how they operate this season: signing Derrick Henry. In terms of fit and usage possibilities, Henry couldn't have possibly landed in a better spot than the Ravens. The Ravens get to add a new element to their rushing attack with a power rusher that is capable of hitting home runs every time he touches the ball while Henry gets the benefit of no longer having to be a workhorse back at age 30 going on 31, which could possibly extend his career after enduring a prolonged stretch of handling a comically large workload that dates all the way back to his final year at Alabama in 2015. Seeing how Todd Monken attacks defenses with an RB rotation of Henry, trusted dual-threat option Justice Hill and shifty speedster Keaton Mitchell-who will likely be out to start the year as he recovers from the ACL tear he suffered last December-alongside Lamar Jackson should be very exciting and make a dynamic Ravens rushing attack that much more unpredictable and harder to defend.         

Biggest Reason for Concern: Defense Regressing 

The 2023 Ravens defense was the arguably the best the league has seen in a number of years. They were physical, fast and disciplined. They got after the quarterback, caused turnovers and made stops on 3rd down and in the redzone. Several guys from the group (Roquan Smith, Patrick Queen, Kyle Hamilton, Brandon Stephens, Geno Stone, Madubuike) put together the best seasons of their careers. Unsurprisingly, the exemplary efforts of this defense were noticed around the league and other teams came calling when the offseason rolled around. 

DC Mike Macdonald became the new head coach of the Seahawks. Associate Head Coach/Defensive Line Coach Anthony Weaver interviewed for some head coaching positions and eventually filled the Dolphins DC vacancy. Defensive backs coach Dennard Wilson got hired to be the Titans DC under their new HC Brian Callahan. Key contributors Queen, Stone, Jadeveon Clowney and Ronald Darby signed with the Steelers, Bengals, Panthers and Jaguars respectively.

ILB coach/former Ravens player Zach Orr was the highest-ranking assistant left once the dust settled on the staff changes and he ended up with the DC promotion as a result. Also returning to the fold are pass game coordinator/secondary Chris Hewitt-who is also taking over the associated head coach role that Weaver vacated, OLB/pass rush coach Chuck Smith and assistant DL/OLB coach Matt Robinson. Orr should more or less be running the same system as Macdonald did last year and the public and private belief from the team is that Orr-who just turned 32-is another young coaching prodigy like Macdonald, so the expectations for him will be extremely high.

As for the on-field personnel turnover, there's varying levels of concern. The secondary shouldn't be a huge issue as Jackson is a reliable veteran safety who is capable of being an elite ballhawk (see 2018 and 2022) when healthy while Arthur Maulet is a scrappy player coming off a great 2023 in the slot and one of the rookies (Nate Wiggins, T.J. Tampa) should be able to handle the backup/spot starter outside corner role that Darby held down last year. The front 7, on the other hand, has the potential to be a real problem. Trenton Simpson is a big downgrade from Queen in terms of fluidity and athleticism and he could struggle to handle coverage assignments against shiftier players. Clowney's exit puts some serious pressure on 2022 2nd round pick David Ojabo or rookie Adissa Issac-who is currently on the NFI List- to step up as rotational pass rushers and for Odafe Oweh to finally take that next step as a player after three decent seasons as a sub-package player/occasional starter. Madubuike was playing for a contract last year and his past productivity (7.5 sacks and 15 TFL's combined in 2021/22) wasn't even in the vicinity of what he did in 2023 (13 sacks, 12 TFL's), so the Ravens will be hoping that last year was a breakout and not just a fluke brought on by bag-chasing.

Defensive dominance has been at the heart of the best Ravens teams over the years and if this team slips even a bit under the new regime/starting lineup, their contending window could very well get prematurely slammed shut.         

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Offense Showing Up in the Playoffs

I'll start by stating the obvious: Jackson hasn't been good enough in the playoffs. Outside of the 2nd half of the Texans game last year and the 2020 Wild Card Round win over the Titans, he's looked overwhelmed by playing on such a big stage. But the horrendous loss the Ravens took to the Chiefs in the AFC Championship Game last year went beyond Jackson. Monken called a horrendous game that played right into the hands of the Chiefs blitz-heavy, excellent coverage defense (37 passing attempts in a close game!) as he didn't even really try to utilize the varied rushing attack (16 rushing attempts the whole game and 8 of them were from Jackson on non-designed runs) that makes his offense so special. Zay Flowers killed a drive that could've won the Ravens the game with a taunting penalty and idiotic attempt to stretch the ball over the goalline that resulted in a fumble out of the back of the endzone. Odell Beckham Jr., Isaiah Likely and Rashod Bateman did absolutely nothing (neither did Mark Andrews, but he gets a pass since he was playing hurt).

Nobody will be surprised if the Ravens are back at the top of the AFC this year, but no amount of regular season wins will matter if they bow out of the playoffs in embarrassing fashion yet again. This is team too talented, and John Harbaugh is too good of a coach to keep falling short of the Super Bowl. Jackson is 27 now. Greg Roman is gone. The pass catchers are good enough to compete. The defense is among the most talented in the league. All of the excuses that existed for them as recently as 2 years ago are out the window and now is the time for them to show up and win or they'll forever be known as the 2020's answer to the Marthy Schottenheimer-era Chargers teams or the mid-to-late 2010's Steelers teams with Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell.

Bottom Line:

While it would be pretty surprising if the Ravens didn't put together another excellent regular season, they're going to have start winning in January/February if they want to truly be taken seriously as a contender.             

Cincinnati Bengals

2023 Record: 9-8 (4th in AFC North)

Head Coach: Zac Taylor (6th season)

Notable Additions: DT Sheldon Rankins, T Trent Brown, S Geno Stone 

Notable Departures: DT D.J. Reader, CB Chidobe Awuzie, RB Joe Mixon

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Tee Higgins Returning to the Fold

The long-term prospects of Higgins remaining with the Bengals are not good. No progress has been made on an extension and the prospect of Mike Brown paying him when he already paid Joe Burrow a zillion dollars and is going to have to pay Ja'Marr Chase another zillion sometime next year feels highly unlikely. But for now, Higgins has committed to the Bengals for 2024 after rescinding his trade request and signing the franchise tag in mid-June. Considering the state of the Bengals offensive weapons now that longtime reliable options Joe Mixon and Tyler Boyd are gone, Higgins' playmaking presence will be particularly welcome in 2024. This is only a minor victory for the team, but it's a victory nonetheless and that's something worth celebrating amidst a quietly terrible offseason for the organization.    

Biggest Reason for Concern: The State of Their Secondary

The devastation caused by Burrow getting knocked out for the year covered up and excused a lot of the other things the Bengals did poorly last season. While their spotty offensive line play received some attention since their QB's continued to get lit up most weeks and the rushing lanes were never consistently there, they skated on their poor defensive play-particularly on the back end. They actually ranked 28th in the league against the pass and dead last in net yards allowed per pass attempt. In true Bengals fashion, these shortcomings inspired them to make some minor tweaks. For the 2nd straight year, they're changing out both of their starting safeties with Vonn Bell-who is returning to Cincy after spending the past 2 seasons with the Panthers and Geno Stone-who led the league in INT's last year with 7-coming over in free agency. Safeties coach Robert Livingston also bolted for the college ranks-joining Deion Sanders' staff at Colorado as their new DC. Livingston was replaced internally by assistant LB coach and former NFL safety/special teamer Jordan Kovacs. On the more significant end of the change spectrum, top corner Chidobe Awuzie left for the Titans in free agency.

So where does this leave an already not good group heading into the 2024? Not in a good place at all. Putting more reasonability onto the plate of Cam Taylor-Britt in the wake of Awuzie's departure feels like an awful idea given how much he's struggled against #2 options in his inaugural 2 NFL seasons while inserting D.J Turner II into the starting lineup after his awful rookie campaign (693 YDS allowed on 40 receptions, 4 TD's allowed, 111.6 passing rating against) feels like an unnecessary dice roll. On the safety front, Bell was allowed to walk from Carolina for a reason as he was mediocre in both of his years there and Stone's ballhawk title may not be earned yet as he had just 1 career INT before last season and played more of a 3rd safety role behind Marcus Williams and Kyle Hamilton in Baltimore-which granted him the freedom to be hyperaggressive and jump routes without worrying about blowing coverage assignments  At least the consistently good, if not great Mike Hilton is still around to patrol the slot.

There are of course a few wild cards that could lead this group to take some steps forward. Turner could very well figure things out in year 2 as he was a highly touted prospect coming out of Michigan, Stone could take nicely to his elevated responsibility and maybe Jordan Battle-who was a pleasant surprise as a rookie-can continue to have a meaningful role on the back end despite the additions of Bell and Stone.  But they're putting an awful lot of faith in a young group to turn around a terrible pass defense and that'll always be a huge gamble, especially in a conference that is so loaded with elite QB talent.      

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Joe Burrow's Health

Jake Browning really did an admirable job of holding down the fort once Burrow went on a season-ending IR with a wrist injury on his throwing hand. The 5th year undrafted player out of the University of Washington went 4-3 as a starter, completed an impressive 70.4 of his passes and put together a respectable 12/7 TD:INT split. Browning's play in relief of Burrow-which was enough to earn him a new 2-year deal with the Bengals this offseason. As respectable as he was, he's still a backup and the team took a noticeable dip without Burrow at the helm. They ran the ball more and the pass attack went from vertical to a more conservative, dip-and-dunk approach, which limited their effectiveness at times (particularly in their losses to the Steelers and Chiefs in Weeks 16 and 17). 

As Burrow returns at full go for 2024, his importance to the Bengals has never been higher. Zac Taylor could be on the hot seat with another disappointing season, especially if the offense tanks following the departure of longtime OC Brian Callahan. Both Chase and Higgins are seeking new deals and need to have great years to ensure they can max out the money they get. The rushing attack is facing all sorts of uncertainty now that Mixon is gone and being replaced by some combination of journeyman Zack Moss and 2nd year back Chase Brown-who remains a complete enigma given how little he played last year. Losing him to injury this season would be catastrophic and as long as this offensive line remains unreliable (as Raiders and Patriots fans will tell you, bringing in Trent Brown to replace Jonah Williams at RT is far from guaranteed to stabilize things), his risk to get seriously hurt again will remain heightened.        

Bottom Line:

Between their potential issues on the o-line, with their secondary and in the locker room with several players upset about their contract situations (Higgins, Chase, Trey Hendrickson), I don't like where the Bengals are at all right now and wouldn't be even remotely surprised to see them completely unravel if things don't go their way early on.

 Cleveland Browns

2023 Record: 11-6 (2nd in AFC North)

Head Coach: Kevin Stefanski (5th season)

Notable Additions: WR Jerry Jeudy, ILB Jordan Hicks, QB Jameis Winston

Notable Departures: QB Joe Flacco, ILB Anthony Walker Jr., ILB Sione Takitaki

Biggest Reason for Excitement: Nearly All of Last Year's 11-Win Team is Back

Continuity helps build winning teams and the Browns have a whole lot of it carrying over into 2024. A whopping 19 out of 22 their offensive and defensive starters along with their top special teamers (Dustin Hopkins, Corey Bojorquez) from last year's 11-win team will be returning for 2024. How did this remarkable feat happen? A combination of good fortune with many top players not being up for new contracts after last season and aggressively re-upping the few key guys that did hit the market (Za'Darius Smith, Shelby Harris, Bojorquez). The foundation for building a true winner is in place and now it's up to Kevin Stefanski, Jim Schwartz and Ken Dorsey to help take them there. 

Biggest Reason for Concern: Deshaun Watson (Again)

One of the more impressive things that happened in the NFL last season was watching how the Browns were able to win in spite of Deshaun Watson. In his 6 starts before being placed on season-ending IR with a broken bone in his throwing shoulder, the 2017 1st round pick was below average at best and yet the team was still able to string together a 5-1 record during that time. His completion percentage was only 61.4%, his YPA was equal to his dreadful return to the field in 2023 (6.5) and perhaps most concerningly, he only threw 7 TD's against 4 INT's. The eventual miracle run to the playoffs spearheaded by fresh off the couch 38-year-old Joe Flacco made Watson's struggles feel like a fleeting memory from a shittier existence, but the Flacco comeback tour is now over with him departing for the Colts in free agency and the spotlight has now returned to Watson and the hollow shell of his former self that he's become. 

The harsh reality is that Watson just has not been the same player he was in Houston since arriving in Cleveland. He's looking like a journeyman who stumbled into the starting job instead of the franchise QB he was in Houston. Maybe it's all the rust he's accumulated from playing in 12 football games over the past 3 seasons or the whole being outed as a serial sexual predator that's led to his regression on the field, but the Browns have to be getting very close to the point where they'll consider cutting ties with their latest awful football decision if he can't turn it around this season. There's almost zero chance that Jimmy Haslam and Andrew Berry want to create their own version of the Russell Wilson albatross that's going to kill the Broncos cap situation for the next 5 years, but what choice will they have if their $230-year million investment continues to perform like a $2.3 million stopgap that flailing teams employ when they need a sacrificial lamb to go out there while their rookie QB takes some additional time to get acclimated to the pros?        

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling:  Getting Anything Positive Out of the QB Position

As Flacco proved once he was inserted into the starting job for the final 5 games of the regular season, having somebody who can sling the football does wonders for the flow of their offense. Sure, the Browns can grind out wins by running the ball and playing defense, but that's not as fun or pragmatic as being able to be a complete modern football team with aerial capabilities.

Flacco's aforementioned departure takes away the guarantee of the late season Browns offense showing up to start the year, but they'll certainly be looking to replicate that style, especially with a pass-happy psycho like Dorsey now on board as OC. Given their financial commitments to Watson, the Browns would definitely prefer if he started to look like the player he was in Houston and proficiently aired the shit out of the ball from the jump. But there's just no way that anybody can feel confident in his ability to do so after watching him play over the following 2 seasons.

The backup plan in case Watson stumbles or gets hurt again is none other than Jameis Winston. Can Winston slide into the exact role Flacco played last year? Sure, the results will just be more erratic and hilarious since Winston's gunslinger status is so advanced that he makes Flacco look like Alex Smith or Tyrod Taylor.

It doesn't really matter if it's Watson or Winston under center. The Browns just need somebody who can throw the god damn ball effectively and make this team something more than a scrappy thorn-in-your side team that can win 13-10 games in October.     

Bottom Line:

This is a really talented team with strong upside, but quite frankly, I think they used up a lot of their luck surviving all of the injuries that they endured last year and will fall back to the middle of the pack this year.

Pittsburgh Steelers

2023 Record: 10-7 (3rd in AFC North)

Head Coach: Mike Tomlin (18th season)

Notable Additions: QB Russell Wilson, QB Justin Fields, ILB Patrick Queen

Notable Departures: QB Kenny Pickett, WR Diontae Johnson, T Chukwuma Okorafor

Biggest Reason for Excitement: The Arrival of Russell Wilson and Justin Fields

Over 17 games last season, the Steelers QB tandem of Kenny Pickett (12 starts), Mitch Trubisky (2 starts) and Mason Rudolph (3 starts) put together some pretty dire numbers. The trio combined to throw for 3,427 YDS/13 TD's/9 INT's and completed just 63.8% of their passes. What's even more alarming is that Rudolph's relatively impressive 3-game run at the end of the season (716 YDS, 3 TD's, 0 INT's, 76 CMP%) boosted those numbers considerably. 

In typical post-prime Roethlisberger fashion, being burdened by poor QB play didn't really hurt the team until the playoffs rolled around. They actually went 10-7 with this group that ranked 25th in passing offense and had the 4th least passing attempts in the league because fucking of course they did. Despite continuing their winning ways, Omar Khan decided it was time to overhaul the QB position this offseason when he cut Trubisky and let Rudolph leave for the Titans in free agency. Pickett decided to join the fun when he requested a trade and ended up heading to the other side of Pennsylvania to back up Jalen Hurts in Philly.

With the 2023 QB room completely cleared out, it was time for Khan to bring in some contenders for the starting gig and given the Steelers roster construction and Pickett's failure, they elected to go the veteran route. In kind of an atypical move, they were able to land a pair of 2023 starters in Russell Wilson and Justin Fields to compete for the starting job on the cheap (Wilson is getting the vet minimum from the Steelers since the Broncos are still paying him a shit ton of money, Fields was acquired from the Bears for a conditional 6th round pick in the 2025 Draft that could turn into a 4th if he hits a playing time threshold and is in the last year of his rookie deal). While both of these men have their problems (Wilson's dynamism has regressed considerably over the past couple of years and Fields has been an inconsistent passer who has struggled in some crunch time situations), both of them represent an upgrade over what the Steelers have had in recent years. Wilson can still be an efficient game manager in his current physical condition as he showed with his 66.4 CMP% and 26/8 TD INT campaign in Denver last season while Fields is a terrific athlete that can provide a big play spark with his legs or his arm. Either one of these guys would provide the most juice the Steelers have had at the QB spot in at least 5 years and considering how this team has been able to grind out wins in recent years, this is the kind of development that should get people in Western PA to swing the shit out of their Terrible Towels.        

Biggest Reason for Concern: Arthur Smith Being Hired as OC

Firing Matt Canada felt like a godsend for the Steelers organization. His system and playcallling were so wretched that Mike Tomlin elected to make the Steelers first in-season coaching staff move since 1941. All of the joy of being liberated from a boring, inept offense went away in short order when Arthur Smith got announced as the new OC in January. Of all the guys on the market this offseason, the Steelers went with the guy who just spent 3 years embarrassing himself on a near weekly basis? Seriously? 

During his stint as the Falcons HC/offensive playcaller, Smith misused star passing game personnel (namely Kyle Pitts and Drake London), displayed a constant overreliance on running the ball and routinely bungled the playcalls, clock management, etc. in close games. Inheriting the guy that just got gleefully booted for his crimes against football is a sinking, shitty feeling as a fan, particularly when you're still reeling from the last doofus that cratered your team's offense. There's this hope that Smith will return to the form he displayed with the Titans from 2019-20, which is reasonable to an extent since he's now returning to being just an OC and the Steelers longtime run-first philosophy nicely aligns with his approach. But it needs to be kept in mind that Derrick Henry led the league in rushing during both of Smith's seasons at the helm of the Titans offense and everything Ryan Tannehill was doing right at that time was predicated off the running game. Najee Harris is an alright back, but he sure as hell isn't Henry and so far, we've yet to see Smith's offense thrive without an elite running back. 

Could Smith's struggles in Atlanta over the past 2 season be at least partially chalked up to the play of Marcus Mariota, Desmond Ridder and Taylor Heinecke? Absolutely, but that still doesn't excuse his brutal misuse of dynamic passcatchers in London and Pitts-who was used more as a decoy/blocker than a pass-catcher in each of the previous 2 season despite clearing 1,000 YDS as a rookie in 2021 and refusal to go away from the running game even when the game script demanded it. It's going to take a lot of targets to George Pickens and good game management for me to believe that Smith will be better in Pittsburgh.                

Key to Reaching Their Ceiling: Picking the Right QB and Sticking with Them

Tomlin's steadiness at the helm of this team has created a series of near guarantees when it comes to this team. The defense will be fine regardless of talent level as long as they can get after the QB and generate takeaways (which shouldn't be an issue for this team as long as T.J. Watt, Alex Highsmith and Minkah Fitzpatrick remain healthy). Efficiency be damned, this team is going to find a way to have a 1,000+ YD rusher and 10+ TD scorer leading their backfield. They'll win some games against superior teams and lose some against inferior ones in the ugliest fashion possible.

Really the only differentiator between a passable Steelers team and a good-to-great one is QB play. This is precisely why getting the QB selection right this season is so imperative. They've put together back-to-back winning with some of the most brutal QB play you'll see in this league. Just imagine what they could accomplish if they got even semi-respectable play from that position. 

Fields makes more sense to me to earn the job given his age, development potential and physical gifts, but it wouldn't surprise me if Tomlin elects to go with Wilson based on his experience level. Regardless of who they choose, they need to be sure that they've selected the right guy and stick with him for as long as he's healthy. The whole QB carousel routine didn't help them last season and they should be eager to move away from that shit this year. Both of these guys have gotten enough reps in the league for people to have an idea of who they are as players, just go with the guy you think can get this team to the next level and trust him with running the operation as long as he's able to. This is a huge choice for Tomlin and his staff to make and how it plays out will likely be the difference between another respectable season and a great one. 

Bottom Line:

If their QB play is above dogshit this season and they don't get wiped out by the injury bug, the Steelers have an excellent chance to return to the playoffs.     

Predicted Standings:

1.Baltimore Ravens (12-5)

2.Pittsburgh Steelers (11-6)

3.Cleveland Browns (8-9)

4.Cincinnati Bengals (7-10)

Monday, August 5, 2024

2023 in Music: Revisited

So, what are the big takeaways from 2023 in music with the benefit of some hindsight? Well for starters, I don't know how/why Bay Area slam death metal outfit Snuffed on Sight managed to slip past me last year, but I'm grateful to have since discovered them because their record Smoke is a deliriously fun, lethally efficient slice of riff-driven brutality. Then, there's the issue of the vendetta I had against Yves Tumor after being underwhelmed by their live show when I saw them late last year being shelved and their terrific record Praise a Lord Who Chews but Which Does Not Consume (or Simply, Hot Between Worlds) rising up to the top 15 as a result. Lastly, Chappell Roan is going to command the spotlight for a long, long time and The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess will eventually be lauded as an iconic debut album that people will cherish for generations to come.     

Aside from that, there wasn't much notable change. There was some reshuffling of the middlers down in the 80's/90's, Olivia Rodrigo's GUTS grew on a bit and Doja Cat's pivot to straightforward hip hop on Scarlet loses some of its shine on further listens, but aside from that, mostly everything remained around the same place it was in January including the entire top 10. Below, you'll find a complete updated ranking of every 2023 EP and LP I've heard from worst to best. Hope you enjoy and stay tuned for the movie edition of this piece later this month.         

()=Ranking on 2023 Year-End List

EP's:

7.(6) Brand of Sacrifice-Between Death and Dreams (B)

6.(5) JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown-SCARING THE HOES: DLC PACK (B)

5.(4) Spiritbox-The Fear of Fear (B)

4.(new) PeelingFlesh-Slamaholics Vol.2 (B+)

3.(3) Better Lovers-God Made Me an Animal (B+)

2.(2) Knocked Loose-Upon Loss Singles (A-)

1.(1) The Callous Daoboys-God Smiles Upon the Callous Daoboys (A)


LP's:

100.(97) Janelle Monae-The Age of Pleasure (D+)

99.(96) Amaarae-Fountain Baby (C-)

98.(95) blink-182-One More Time... (C-)

97.(94) Young Fathers-Heavy is Heavy (C)

96.(93) Young Thug-Business is Business (C)

95.(92) Metallica-72 Seasons (C)

94.(91) Offset-Set It Off (C)

93.(86) Sexyy Red-Hood Hottest Princess (C)

92.(88) Lil Uzi Vert-Pink Tape (C)

91.(90) Sucide Silence-Remember... You Must Die (C)

90.(89) Royal Blood-Back to the Water Below (C)

89.(87) The Ocean-Holocene (C)

88.(85) Hozier-Unreal Unearth (C)

87.(84) Baroness-Stone (C)

86.(83) Caroline Polachek-Desire, I Want to Turn into You (C)

85.(82) Don Toliver-Love Sick (C)

84.(80) Post Malone-Austin (C+)

83.(79) Ava Max-Diamonds & Dancefloors (C+)

82.(78) Lil Yachty-Let's Start Here (C+)

81.(77) White Reaper-Asking for a Ride (C+)

80.(76) Gunna-A Gift & a Curse (C+)

79.(75) Sleep Token-Take Me to Eden (C+)

78.(74) Killer Mike-MICHAEL (C+)

77.(73) Sunami-Sunami (B-)

76.(72) Fall Out Boy-So Much (for) Stardust (B-)

75.(71) Mitski-The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We (B-)

74.(70) Hail the Sun-Divine Inner Tension (B-)

73.(69) Invent Animate- Heavener (B-)

72.(67) Crow Magnetar-Everything Bleeds (B-)

71.(68) Dominic Fike-Sunburn (B-)

70.(66) Overkill-Scorched (B-)

69.(65) Avenged Sevenfold-Life is But a Dream... (B-)

68.(64) boygenius-the record (B-)

67.(63) King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-The Silver Cord (B-)

66.(62) Zulu-A New Tomorrow (B-)

65.(61) 2 Chainz and Lil Wayne-Collegrove II (B-)

64.(60) Miley Cyrus-Endless Summer Vacation (B-)

63.(59) Harms Way-Common Suffering (B-)

62.(58) Paramore-This is Why (B-)

61.(81) Olivia Rodrigo-GUTS (B-)

60.(57) Jessie Ware-That! Feels Good! (B-)

59.(56) Victoria Monet-Jaguar II (B-)

58.(55) 100 gecs-1,000 gecs (B-)

57.(54) Gel-Only Constant (B-)

56.(53) Wound Man-Human Outline (B-)

55.(52) Thy Art is Murder-Godlike (B-)

54.(51) Currents-The Death We Seek (B-)

53.(41) Doja Cat-Scarlet (B-)

52.(50) TesseracT-War of Being (B-)

51.(49) Fromjoy-Fromjoy (B)

50.(48) Cannibal Corpse-Chaos Horrific (B)

49.(47) Black Pumas-Chronicles of a Diamond (B)

48.(46) Sylosis-A Sign of Things to Come (B)

47.(45) Fuming Mouth-Last Day of Sun (B)

46.(44) Frozen Soul-Glacial Domination (B)

45.(43) Cattle Decapitation-Terrasite (B)

44.(42) Entheos-Time Will Take Us All (B)

43.(40) Pupil Slicer-Blossom (B)

42.(39) Ne Oblivscaries-Exul (B)

41.(38) Carnifex-Necromentum (B)

40.(37) City Morgue-My Bloody America (B)

39.(36) Soulkeeper-Holy Design (B)

38.(new) Humanity's Last Breath-Ashen (B)

37.(35) Danny Brown-Quartana (B)

36.(34) Zach Bryan-Zach Bryan (B)

35.(new) Chappell Roan-The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess (B)

34.(33) Sampha-Lahai (B)

33.(32) The Acacia Strain-Step into the Light (B)

32.(31) Carly Rae Jepsen-The Loveliest Time (B)

31.(29) In Flames-Foregone (B)

30.(28) Gorod-The Orb (B)

29.(30) Lana Del Rey-Did you know there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd (B)

28.(27) The Acacia Strain-Failure Will Follow (B)

27.(26) Tomb Mold-The Enduring Spirit (B)

26.(25) Kvelertak-Endling (B)

25.(23) Suffocation-Hymns from the Apocrypha (B)

24.(24) Drain-Living Proof (B)

23.(22) Kali Uchis-Red Moon in Venus (B)

22.(20) Genesis Owusu-STRUGGLER (B)

21.(19) Judiciary-Flesh + Blood (B)

20.(17) The Zenith Passage-Datalysium (B+)

19.(18) Jesus Piece-...So Unknown (B+)

18.(15) Silent Planet-Superbloom (B+)

17.(16) Travis Scott-UTOPIA (B+)

16.(14) END-The Sin of Human Frailty (B+)

15.(21) Yves Tumor-Praise a Lord Who Chews but Which Does Not Consume (or Simply, Hot Between Worlds) (B+)

14.(13) Unearth-The Wretched: The Ruinous (B+)

13.(12) August Burns Red-Death Below (B+)

12.(new) Snuffed on Sight-Smoke (B+)

11.(11) Veil of Maya-(M)other (B+)

10.(10) Periphery-Periphery V: Djent is Not a Genre (B+)

9.(9) Year of the Knife-No Love Lost (B+)

8.(8) Mutoid Man-Mutants (B+)

7.(7) Dying Wish-Symptoms of Survival (B+)

6.(6) Horrendous-Ontological Mysterium (B+)

5.(5) Dying Fetus-Make Them Beg for Death (A-)

4.(4) Queens of the Stone Age-In Times New Roman... (A-)

3.(3) Foo Fighters-But Here We Are (A-)

2.(2) King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard-PetroDragonic Apocalypse; or, Dawn of Eternal Night: An Annihilation of Planet Earth and The Beginning of Merciless Damnation (A-)

1.(1) JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown-SCARING THE HOES (A)

Thursday, August 1, 2024

Alfred Molina Ranked

Welcome to "Ranked", a weekly series where I rank a franchise or filmography from worst to best and hand out assorted related superlatives. This week, I'm profiling the work of Alfred Molina-whose latest projects "The Instigators" and "Harold and the Purple Crayon" release in theaters today ("The Instigators" will begin streaming on Apple TV+ on August 9th). 

Alfred Molina's Filmography Ranked:

18.Message from the King (D-)

17.Abduction (D)

16.The Pink Panther 2 (C-)

15.The Truth About Emmanuel (C)

14.The Secret in Their Eyes (C)

13.Rango (C)

12.Identity (C+)

11.DC League of Superpets (B-)

10.Don't Let Go (B-)

9.Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (B-)

8.Boogie Nights (B-)

7.Frida (B-)

6.Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (B)

5.Monsters University (B)

4.Spider-Man: No Way Home (B)

3.Promising Young Woman (A-)

2.Spider-Man 2 (A-)

1.Raiders of the Lost Ark (A)

Top Dog: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

It's been 43 years since the launch of Raiders of the Lost Ark and it remains the gold standard for rollicking adventure films. The setpieces are spectacular, Steven Spielberg directs with an infectious wide-eyed glee and Harrison Ford's mix of charisma and vulnerability makes Indiana Jones one of the most fascinating, likable heroes in cinema history.  

Bottom Feeder: Message from the King (2017)

There's not some kind of master blueprint to make good B-movies. The people that have pulled off this tricky feat over the years have all followed their own path to achieve schlock nirvana. The team behind Message from the King went in the opposite direction by providing a nearly step-by-step tutorial on how NOT to do it. This revenge thriller led by the late Chadwick Boseman and a deep supporting cast including Luke Evans, Tersea Palmer and Molina gets absolutely nothing right. The revenge plot is convoluted and full of corny, questionable melodramatic flourishes. All of the action is chopped up to shit. The tone is extremely serious. Not even a single member of the aforementioned cast feels like they were casted correctly for their respective roles. If I were to make a list of worst movies of the past decade, this would easily be among the top 10.        

Most Underrated: Monsters University (2013)

Monsters University repeatedly gets singled out as a Pixar low point, and I just don't believe it's fair damn it! Does it have the highest aspirations in the world as a college-set prequel to Monsters Inc.? No. Does it "need" to exist? Also, no. But it's a sweet, funny movie that does a good job of exploring the origins of Mike Wazowski and Sully's enduring friendship.   

Most Overrated: Boogie Nights (1997)

Some stellar performances and great scenes don't make a great movie. Case in point: Boogie Nights. Paul Thomas Anderson's widely celebrated breakout feature squanders its effective elements (particularly the performances of Julianne Moore, Burt Reynolds and Don Cheadle) with meandering pacing that regularly undermines the power of the electricity, shock value and tragedy that sits at the core of its story.