Every year I dawn my douchey fantasy football authoritarian hat and put out a list of highly-touted players that I believe are horrible value picks. After weeks of thumbing through projections from the so-called "experts" and doing a healthy amount of mock drafts, the 2017 edition of this useless public service has finally arrived. Here are the 5 guys (plus an additional 3 "honorable" mentions at each position) I think should be avoided at their current ADP.
Quarterback: Andrew Luck (Colts) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 47.3 ESPN: 69.6 NFL.com: 52.5)
I absolutely love Andrew Luck as both a real-life and fantasy quarterback, but with his availability for the start of the season currently in question, I just can't justify spending a 4th or 5th round pick on him when there's comparable talents with a clean bill of health (Russell Wilson, Matt Ryan, Jameis Winston) getting selected around the same point.
Honorable Mentions (aka "Also going too high"): Marcus Mariota (Titans), Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Phillip Rivers (Chargers)
Running Back: Melvin Gordon (Chargers) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 10.6 ESPN: 10.8 NFL.com: 11.3)
The lack of depth at running back has forced a disturbing, head-scratching trend of fantasy players overdrafting unproven talent on average-to-bad teams (Jordan Howard, Jay Ajayi, Leonard Fournette) in the first 15-20 picks to emerge this season. Of these young, untrustworthy RB1's, none are more overvalued than Melvin Gordon. Gordon averaged just under 4 yards per carry last season, has missed multiple games in each of his first 2 NFL seasons (2 in 2015 and 3 in 2016) and most importantly, has a horrific offensive line in front of him that already lost a starter for the year (RIP Forrest Lamp). I'd rather grossly overdraft a proven stud QB like Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady or Drew Brees with a late 1st round pick than spend one on a 3rd-year back who has no 1,000-yard rushing seasons under his belt and possesses a floor that's well below top 11 overall pick.
Honorable Mentions: Leonard Fournette (Jaguars), Joe Mixon (Bengals), Mike Gillislee (Patriots)
Wide Receiver: Tyreek Hill (Chiefs) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 51.2 ESPN: 59.6 NFL.com: 49.8)
Tyreek Hill has been anointed the Chiefs de facto top WR after the release of Jeremy Maclin, but I'm not sold on the idea of him suddenly getting flooded with targets now that the 29-year old Pro Bowler is out of the equation. Andy Reid primarily utilized Hill as a gadget player (355 of his 860 total yards last season came on 8 plays) to offer up a reprieve from the Chiefs' usual short-pass/run-based offense and even with the group of well below-average clowns that are currently beside him in the receiving corps (Chris Conley is currently penciled in as the other starter), I don't foresee him shifting to a more traditional outside/slot receiver role this season. Hill didn't leave his role as the offense's Swiss Army Knife while Maclin struggled to produce for the bulk of last season and reigning 1st-team All-Pro tight end Travis Kelce, who led the team in receptions and receiving yards in 2016, should once again be the clear focal point of the passing attack. In addition to Hill's specialist-esque role in the Chiefs ultra-conservative offense, I also have a feeling that opposing defenses are going to start scheming against his splash play-dependent skill set in his sophomore season and not let him get as many uncontested free-runs to the endzone as he did as a rookie. Unless your league counts kick return yards/TD's towards individual scoring, Hill should be avoided as a WR2/3.
Honorable Mentions: Brandin Cooks (Patriots), Davante Adams (Packers), Keenan Allen (Chargers)
Tight End: Rob Gronkowski (Patriots) (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 25.6 ESPN: 23.0 NFL.com: 22.0)
Every fantasy football player around the globe knows how much of a monster Rob Gronkowski is when he's healthy. He has 3 1,000+ yards seasons on his resume, has put up double-digit TD's every single season he's appeared in 11 or more games (5 out of 7 seasons in the league) and is the 1st tight end since future Hall-of-Famer Tony Gonzalez to be considered a perennial top-20 overall pick. That being said, his extensive injury history combined with his standing in a Patriots offense that prides itself on getting as many people as humanly possible involved in the passing game on a weekly basis make him an unnecessary risk at his current ADP (late 2nd-early 3rd round).
Honorable Mentions: Jordan Reed (Redskins), Tyler Eifert (Bengals), Eric Ebron (Lions)
Defense: Arizona Cardinals (Average Draft Position: Yahoo!: 84.9 ESPN: 155.8 NFL.com: 94.3)
No this isn't a typo, I'm pretty much only the moron in this lovely fictional football realm that's down on a defense that finished number 1 in fantasy points in most leagues last season. While the pass-rush led by Chandler Jones and Markus Golden should remain excellent, I think that the losses of star defensive lineman Calias Campbell and safety Tony Jefferson is going to effect their points allowed and takeaway total.
Honorable Mentions: Carolina Panthers, Baltimore Ravens, Los Angeles Rams
Thursday, August 10, 2017
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
2017 NFL Preview: AFC South
Houston Texans
2016 Record: 9-7 (1st in AFC South)
Head Coach: Bill O'Brien (4th season)
Notable Additions: T Breno Giacomini, ILB Sio Moore, CB Marcus Roberson
Notable Departures: QB Brock Osweiler, CB A.J. Bouye, S Quentin Demps
-Rick Smith was able to undo the biggest mistake of his 11-year tenure as the Texans GM by somehow finding a team that was willing to take on Brock Osweiler's ridiculous contract. In a twist that shouldn't really surprise anyone, the brave squad that was willing to accept a trade offer involving the grossly overpaid signalcaller was the Browns. The sabermetric-obsessed Browns gleefully agreed to dish out $19 million to Osweiler for the 2017 season, simply so they could add another 2nd round selection to their overflowing aresenal of future draft picks. It's one of the most jaw-dropping yet subtly ingenious transactions I've ever seen in the NFL and I doubt that the Texans have ever been happier to trade a draft pick in their brief existence as a franchise.
-With Osweiler out of the equation, the Texans appear to be set to (temporarily) turn over the reigns to Tom Savage. While he has yet to throw a touchdown as a pro, the 27-year old still managed to serviceable in the 3 games he appeared (461 YDS, 63.0 CMP% 0 INT's) in last season before going down with a concussion in Week 17. This defense is good enough to carry the Texans to another title in the sorry-ass AFC South, so as long as Savage can master the art of the dump-off pass and not turn the ball over at an Osweiler or Blake Bortles-esque level before they let him walk in free agency to make way for this year's 1st-round draft pick DeShaun Watson, they'll be fine.
-Savage and head coach/offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien got handed a big bag of shit when 2nd-year wideout Will Fuller went down with a broken collarbone during a training camp practice last week. Fuller may fallen off like crazy after a solid start to his rookie campaign a year ago, but his top-end speed at least gives O'Brien a constant splash-play threat to place next to firmly-entrenched top wideout DeAndre Hopkins. Now the team is left scrambling to find a starter from a trash heap of unattractive options. Converted college quarterback Braxton Miller is still far too raw to be trusted with a prominent role in the passing attack, Jaelen Strong has failed to make any plays that weren't fluke hail marys against the Colts, Devin Street is coming off a season where he hauled in a whopping 1 pass and Dres Anderson was an early cut by the Bears, whose receiver room currently includes such studs as Markus Wheaton, Reuben Randle and the rhythmic particles of dust that used to be Victor Cruz. If all hell breaks loose and Hopkins goes down sometime before Fuller returns, the Texans will be a Jets-level of fucked at the receiver position.
-2016 proved that the Texans defense doesn't need J.J Watt to succeed. As Watt spent the final 14 games on the sideline, his teammates managed to post very good numbers across the board (1st in yards allowed, 2nd in pass defense, 11th in run defense) and finish as the 11th ranked scoring defense in the league. With the 3-time Defensive Player of the Year reportedly returning at 100% after undergoing back surgery last September (his 2nd in a 2-month period), a series of interesting questions arise about what effect his presence will have on the functionally of this group. Will Watt's return stunt the growth of rising young stars Jadeveon Clowney and Whitney Mercilius? Is Watt comfortable letting other players emerge as vocal leaders or will he double-down on his attention-whore persona and ensure the spotlight is only on him? And most importantly, will the 28-year old still be able to play his bruising style of football after undergoing multiple major injuries in the past 2 seasons? In an ideal scenario, Watt's physicality won't drop off in the slightest and his disruptive presence upfront will make this talent-loaded unit even better than they were a season ago. At worst, he won't be the player he once was or his return will screw up this group's dynamic and force a surprise regression to happen. Logic would point to the former being the case, but Watt's potential physical decline and domineering presence on-and-off-the field could have a negative effect on the togetherness this group played with in his absence.
-The Texans currently have the rare luxury of letting notable players leave in free agency without suffering any serious loss of talent. Their excellent depth throughout the defense allowed them to let cornerback A.J. Bouye, safety Quentin Demps and outside linebacker John Simon walk this offseason without even batting an eye. On the flip side, their lack of new additions is also kind of worrisome. The biggest potential impact veteran they brought in this offseason was ex-Jets right tackle Breno Giacomini, who is currently locked in a position battle with incumbent starter Chris Clark. This is a team that struggled to go 9-7 in 2016 and unless some of their draft picks make a monumental impact right away (I'm looking at you Zach Cunningham and D'Onta Foreman), they're unlikely to be much better this season.
Bottom Line:
The Texans once again have enough defensive talent to win their division yet not enough offensive firepower to contend with the AFC's best teams.
-Rick Smith was able to undo the biggest mistake of his 11-year tenure as the Texans GM by somehow finding a team that was willing to take on Brock Osweiler's ridiculous contract. In a twist that shouldn't really surprise anyone, the brave squad that was willing to accept a trade offer involving the grossly overpaid signalcaller was the Browns. The sabermetric-obsessed Browns gleefully agreed to dish out $19 million to Osweiler for the 2017 season, simply so they could add another 2nd round selection to their overflowing aresenal of future draft picks. It's one of the most jaw-dropping yet subtly ingenious transactions I've ever seen in the NFL and I doubt that the Texans have ever been happier to trade a draft pick in their brief existence as a franchise.
-With Osweiler out of the equation, the Texans appear to be set to (temporarily) turn over the reigns to Tom Savage. While he has yet to throw a touchdown as a pro, the 27-year old still managed to serviceable in the 3 games he appeared (461 YDS, 63.0 CMP% 0 INT's) in last season before going down with a concussion in Week 17. This defense is good enough to carry the Texans to another title in the sorry-ass AFC South, so as long as Savage can master the art of the dump-off pass and not turn the ball over at an Osweiler or Blake Bortles-esque level before they let him walk in free agency to make way for this year's 1st-round draft pick DeShaun Watson, they'll be fine.
-Savage and head coach/offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien got handed a big bag of shit when 2nd-year wideout Will Fuller went down with a broken collarbone during a training camp practice last week. Fuller may fallen off like crazy after a solid start to his rookie campaign a year ago, but his top-end speed at least gives O'Brien a constant splash-play threat to place next to firmly-entrenched top wideout DeAndre Hopkins. Now the team is left scrambling to find a starter from a trash heap of unattractive options. Converted college quarterback Braxton Miller is still far too raw to be trusted with a prominent role in the passing attack, Jaelen Strong has failed to make any plays that weren't fluke hail marys against the Colts, Devin Street is coming off a season where he hauled in a whopping 1 pass and Dres Anderson was an early cut by the Bears, whose receiver room currently includes such studs as Markus Wheaton, Reuben Randle and the rhythmic particles of dust that used to be Victor Cruz. If all hell breaks loose and Hopkins goes down sometime before Fuller returns, the Texans will be a Jets-level of fucked at the receiver position.
-2016 proved that the Texans defense doesn't need J.J Watt to succeed. As Watt spent the final 14 games on the sideline, his teammates managed to post very good numbers across the board (1st in yards allowed, 2nd in pass defense, 11th in run defense) and finish as the 11th ranked scoring defense in the league. With the 3-time Defensive Player of the Year reportedly returning at 100% after undergoing back surgery last September (his 2nd in a 2-month period), a series of interesting questions arise about what effect his presence will have on the functionally of this group. Will Watt's return stunt the growth of rising young stars Jadeveon Clowney and Whitney Mercilius? Is Watt comfortable letting other players emerge as vocal leaders or will he double-down on his attention-whore persona and ensure the spotlight is only on him? And most importantly, will the 28-year old still be able to play his bruising style of football after undergoing multiple major injuries in the past 2 seasons? In an ideal scenario, Watt's physicality won't drop off in the slightest and his disruptive presence upfront will make this talent-loaded unit even better than they were a season ago. At worst, he won't be the player he once was or his return will screw up this group's dynamic and force a surprise regression to happen. Logic would point to the former being the case, but Watt's potential physical decline and domineering presence on-and-off-the field could have a negative effect on the togetherness this group played with in his absence.
-The Texans currently have the rare luxury of letting notable players leave in free agency without suffering any serious loss of talent. Their excellent depth throughout the defense allowed them to let cornerback A.J. Bouye, safety Quentin Demps and outside linebacker John Simon walk this offseason without even batting an eye. On the flip side, their lack of new additions is also kind of worrisome. The biggest potential impact veteran they brought in this offseason was ex-Jets right tackle Breno Giacomini, who is currently locked in a position battle with incumbent starter Chris Clark. This is a team that struggled to go 9-7 in 2016 and unless some of their draft picks make a monumental impact right away (I'm looking at you Zach Cunningham and D'Onta Foreman), they're unlikely to be much better this season.
Bottom Line:
The Texans once again have enough defensive talent to win their division yet not enough offensive firepower to contend with the AFC's best teams.
Indianapolis Colts
2016 Record: 8-8 (3rd in AFC South)
Head Coach: Chuck Pagano (6th season)
Notable Additions: DT Jonathan Hankins, OLB Jabbal Sheard, OLB John Simon
Notable Departures: P Pat McAfee (retired), S Mike Adams, TE Dwayne Allen
-After 5 years of poor drafting and misguided free agent signings, Jim Irsay pulled the plug on much-maligned general manager Ryan Grigson in mid-January. This move was long overdue, but at least Irsay finally rid this organization of the man that stunted any chance the team had of growing after they drafted young stars Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton in 2012. Grigson was replaced by former Chiefs front office assistant Chris Ballard, who went onto to put together a pretty impressive haul in his inaugural season as the Colts front office shot caller. Ballard addressed the team's hole-filled defense with a plethora of affordable, potential impact free agent signings (defensive tackle Jonathan Hankins, outside linebackers Jabbal Sheard and John Simon, inside linebacker Sean Spence) and brought in a draft class that is loaded with numerous high-upside prospects (safety Malik Hooker, cornerback Quincy Wilson, edge rusher Tarral Basham, running back Marlon Mack). While there's clearly no way to tell if Ballard's moves will help elevate the Colts from their 2-year mediocrity slump right now, he's already managed put more effort into trying to address the team's needs than Grigson did during his entire tenure.
-For a team that's looking to break out of a funk, the news that broke last Tuesday about Andrew Luck potentially missing the first 6 games of the season as he recovers from offseason surgery on his throwing shoulder was devastating. Luck's low-key excellent 2016 (63.5 CMP %, 4,240 YDS, 31 TD, 13 INT in 15 games) was the only reason the team cracked .500 and without him on the field, they would likely crumble into complete disarray. Current backup Scott Tolzien boasts a 0-2-1 career record as a starter and has thrown multiple interceptions in all 3 of those games. I'm not even a Colts fan and reading that stat still made me want to projectile vomit all over my keyboard. If a situation arises where Tolzien has to step in for any substantial length of time, this squad's hopes of returning to the playoffs for the 1st time since 2014 are pretty much dead and buried.
- 2017 is a crucial year for the development of this offensive line. For the 1st time in a long time, there's actually reason for optimism when you look at the Colts o-line group. Center Ryan Kelly had a pretty decent rookie year in 2016, Jack Mewhort has played well whenever he's been at his natural position of guard and left tackle Anthony Castonzo is a reliable performer that's currently in the middle of his prime. However, that's not to say there isn't still some reason for concern with this group. Young guns Joe Haeg and Le'Raven Clark didn't display the same level of polish or consistency as Kelly did in his rookie year and have the unfortunate distinction of being raw, inexperienced players playing on the same side of the line. There may be more talent present than there was in the Mike McGlynn/Samson Satele/Gosder Cherlius days, but unless they can establish some consistency and stability across the entire group, this revamped o-line will be deemed yet another failure for the long-suffering Colts.
Bottom Line:
Without the guarantee of a healthy Luck for the entire season, the Colts are more than likely going to miss the playoffs for the 4th straight season.
-After 5 years of poor drafting and misguided free agent signings, Jim Irsay pulled the plug on much-maligned general manager Ryan Grigson in mid-January. This move was long overdue, but at least Irsay finally rid this organization of the man that stunted any chance the team had of growing after they drafted young stars Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton in 2012. Grigson was replaced by former Chiefs front office assistant Chris Ballard, who went onto to put together a pretty impressive haul in his inaugural season as the Colts front office shot caller. Ballard addressed the team's hole-filled defense with a plethora of affordable, potential impact free agent signings (defensive tackle Jonathan Hankins, outside linebackers Jabbal Sheard and John Simon, inside linebacker Sean Spence) and brought in a draft class that is loaded with numerous high-upside prospects (safety Malik Hooker, cornerback Quincy Wilson, edge rusher Tarral Basham, running back Marlon Mack). While there's clearly no way to tell if Ballard's moves will help elevate the Colts from their 2-year mediocrity slump right now, he's already managed put more effort into trying to address the team's needs than Grigson did during his entire tenure.
-For a team that's looking to break out of a funk, the news that broke last Tuesday about Andrew Luck potentially missing the first 6 games of the season as he recovers from offseason surgery on his throwing shoulder was devastating. Luck's low-key excellent 2016 (63.5 CMP %, 4,240 YDS, 31 TD, 13 INT in 15 games) was the only reason the team cracked .500 and without him on the field, they would likely crumble into complete disarray. Current backup Scott Tolzien boasts a 0-2-1 career record as a starter and has thrown multiple interceptions in all 3 of those games. I'm not even a Colts fan and reading that stat still made me want to projectile vomit all over my keyboard. If a situation arises where Tolzien has to step in for any substantial length of time, this squad's hopes of returning to the playoffs for the 1st time since 2014 are pretty much dead and buried.
- 2017 is a crucial year for the development of this offensive line. For the 1st time in a long time, there's actually reason for optimism when you look at the Colts o-line group. Center Ryan Kelly had a pretty decent rookie year in 2016, Jack Mewhort has played well whenever he's been at his natural position of guard and left tackle Anthony Castonzo is a reliable performer that's currently in the middle of his prime. However, that's not to say there isn't still some reason for concern with this group. Young guns Joe Haeg and Le'Raven Clark didn't display the same level of polish or consistency as Kelly did in his rookie year and have the unfortunate distinction of being raw, inexperienced players playing on the same side of the line. There may be more talent present than there was in the Mike McGlynn/Samson Satele/Gosder Cherlius days, but unless they can establish some consistency and stability across the entire group, this revamped o-line will be deemed yet another failure for the long-suffering Colts.
Bottom Line:
Without the guarantee of a healthy Luck for the entire season, the Colts are more than likely going to miss the playoffs for the 4th straight season.
Jacksonville Jaguars
2016 Record: 3-13 (4th in AFC South)
Head Coach: Doug Marrone (1st season)
Notable Additions: DT Calias Campbell, CB A.J. Bouye, S Barry Church
Notable Departures: S Jonathan Cyprien, CB Prince Amukamara, TE Julius Thomas
-Even with the team's decision to exercise his 5th-year option and keep him under team control through the 2018 season, 2017 is going to be a make-or-break year for Blake Bortles in Jacksonville. The former top-5 pick undid any of the goodwill he earned during his perceived breakout 2015 campaign with an underwhelming 2016 that saw his TD total dip from 35 to 23 and already-maligned throwing mechanics fit a new level of sloppiness (sup Tebow-esque sidearm). Even as a person who has unreasonable amount of faith in Bortles, it's hard for me to envision a scenario where he magically fixes his ailments in a single offseason. New head coach Doug Marrone retained Nathaniel Hackett, whose has worked with Bortles since the 2015 season, as offensive coordinator, new front office minion Tom Coughlin reportedly doesn't envision him as the team's long-term starter and decisionmaking/delivery deficiencies are damn near impossible for a quarterback to correct in a such a short period of time. A rapid level of development that he has yet to display during his professional career paired with a tsunami of good fortune (aka a bunch of players overachieve and the teams ends up winning 8-10 games) is the only way Bortles will be able to keep his job past this season.
-To be honest, the best bet of the Jags offense getting back on track doesn't even lie on their embattled QB's shoulders. That's right, the most viable potential savior of this offense is rookie running back Leonard Fournette. Part of the reason Bortles and co. struggled so mightily last season was due to their inability to run the ball. Chris Ivory and T.J. Yeldon couldn't generate a god damn thing whenever they touched the ball (they combined for 904 yards on 247 carries), which forced their erratic, gunslinging quarterback to throw more than he should've. While there's questions about his durability and the talent level of the guys upfront that are blocking for him, Fournette has the potential to be the type of 3-down back you can run your offense through. At 6'1, 228 lbs, he has the devastating speed, size and power combo that every NFL team dreams of having in their backfield. The presence of a reliable workhorse back would bring a much-needed sense of balance to this group and take some of the pressure off of Bortles to be the sole creator of offense.
-The plus side of the Jags non-stop losing is the plethora of available cap space they have to go out and sign pretty much any free agent they want. Their 2017 haul might have been their most impressive to-date. Defensive tackle/end Calias Campbell is a versatile, well-rounded monster upfront that also happens to be one of the best locker room leaders in the league, cornerback A.J Bouye is a burgeoning menace in the slot and safety Barry Church is a run-stuffing specialist coming off a career-best year with the Cowboys. Putting more high-caliber veteran along talents alongside outside linebacker Telvin Smith, promising young corner Jalen Ramsey and last year's big-ticket signing defensive tackle Malik Jackson should help this mostly young unit make another substantial leap forward in 2017.
-There's nothing about this Branden Albert situation that isn't hilarious. The Jags acquired the 32-year old Pro Bowler from the Dolphins for pretty much nothing (tight end Julius Thomas and a 6th-round draft pick) in late February with the hopes that he would be a viable short-term solution to the left tackle woes that have plagued them since they dealt Eugene Monroe 4 games into the 2013 season. Then Albert gets a few days into training camp and decides he'd rather sit on his coach than try to protect Blake Bortles' blindside. The story appeared to be over until the news broke on Monday night that Albert told the Jags he wanted to return to the team and the brass said no thanks. To sum it all up, the Jags are now being forced to throw unpolished rookie Cam Robinson into the fire at left tackle right away and Albert is going to have to try and make his NFL "comeback" somewhere else. Professional sports never fail to be the greatest soap operas on Earth.
Bottom Line:
Even with the additions of more solid veteran talent, the Jaguars have too many deficiencies and uncertainties (particularly on offense) to make a significant jump in the standings this season.
Tennessee Titans
2016 Record: 9-7 (2nd in AFC South)
Head Coach: Mike Mularkey (2nd season)
Notable Additions: CB Logan Ryan, S Jonathan Cyprien, WR Eric Decker
Notable Departures: CB Jason McCourty, WR Kendall Wright, G Chance Warmack
-After a surprise 9-7 finish last season, everybody from Wichita to Omaha is aboard the Titans hype train heading into 2017. I'm one of the few people that refuses to board this densely-packed locomotive. This team never impressed me at any point of last season and nothing that's occurred in the 7 months since they last took the field gotten me to waver from that position. I think Marcus Mariota is more of an anonymous game-manager than a legit franchise quarterback, they're relying on a currently-injured rookie (Corey Davis) and an inconsistent 30-year old coming off of a major shoulder injury (Eric Decker) to improve their wonky receiving corps, their defense ,outside of a few nice pieces on the front 7 (Derrick Morgan, Jurrell Casey, Wesley Woodyard) is an unreliable, injury-prone mess (more on that later) and even though he's coming off a nice season (1,287 YDS, 9 TD) and has an excellent offensive line blocking for him, workhorse running back DeMarco Murray is still one of the biggest injury flight risks in the league (he already pulled him hamstring in training camp. I've got a strong feeling that this 2017 team will expose the Titans as a below-average squad primarily driven by fugazi talent that can't be relied to deliver sustained success in the NFL.
-The Achilles' heel of the 2016 Titans (and what their fanbase believes was the only reason they didn't win the division) was their secondary. Their 30th-ranked pass defense doesn't do justice to how much they burnt throughout last season. Naturally, general manager Jon Robinson made trying to upgrade this lackluster his primary focus this season. He went out and signed ex-Patriot corner Logan Ryan and former Jags Jonathan Cyprien on the 2nd day of free agency then proceeded to use 1 of the team's 2 1st round draft picks to select USC corner Adoree' Jackson. The problem with these moves is that every single one of them is a massive dice roll. Ryan was an erratic presence throughout his tenure in New England and has yet to prove he can guard top WR's on a weekly basis, Cyprien was a garbageman until last season and Jackson is a super athletic gambler that lives and dies by the big play. Robinson was right to make a ton of moves in the secondary, but I'm skeptical that the guys he brought in are going to be able to make the type of impact he desperately needs them to make in order to quickly sure up their horrific pass defense.
-Another part of the reason why I'm so down on the Titans is because of this coaching staff. A surprisingly strong season from DeMarco Murray and rare 16-game campaign for Brian Orakpo covered up a lot of the issues the schematic masterminds behind this operation bring to the table, but I wouldn't bank on it happening again. Mike Mularkey is a so-so offensive mind (I still haven't figured out what "exotic smashmouth" means) that has mustered 2 winning seasons and 0 playoff appearances in 5 seasons as an NFL head coach, Dick LeBeau is a stubborn fossil that won't let go of his precious zone-driven scheme that hasn't been consistently effective in at least 20 years and with just 1 year as an offensive coordinator, there's no way to tell if Terry Robiskie is the real deal or not (spoiler alert: I don't think he is). While the play of Mariota and the impact of (or lack thereof) their big-ticket free agent signing are currently commanding the narratives out of Nashville, the abilities of these 3 men should ultimately determine if the Titans deserve to be taken seriously as a playoff contender or simply benefited from a whole lot of fluky-ass strong performances in 2016.
Bottom Line:
The pride of Smashville appear set to fall back to Earth after overachieving a season ago.
Projected Standings
1.Houston Texans (9-7)
1.Houston Texans (9-7)
2.Indianapolis Colts (7-9)
3.Tennessee Titans (6-10)
4.Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11)
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
2016 in Film: Revisited
For the last five years, I've gone back and revisited the music of the previous year to see how it has aged six or seven months after posting my annual cumulative recap. This year, I figured it was only fair that I gave the world of film the same treatment. Here's my updated list for the polarizing year that was 2016 complete with all the movies I saw after the post-January rush.
133.(110) Captain Fantastic (1/5)
132.(109) The Finest Hours (1.5/5)
133.(110) Captain Fantastic (1/5)
132.(109) The Finest Hours (1.5/5)
131.(108) Kubo and the Two Strings (1.5/5)
130.(107) The Legend of Tarzan (1.5/5)
129.(106) Criminal (1.5/5)
128.(new) American Honey (1.5/5)
127.(105) Yoga Hosers (1.5/5)
126.(new) Lion (1.5/5)
125.(104) Hail, Caesar! (2/5)
124.(new) Moana (2/5)
123.(103) Midnight Special (2/5)
122.(102) The Jungle Book (2/5)
121.(101) Independence Day: Resurgence (2/5)
120.(100) The Boss (2/5)
119.(99) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2/5)
118.(new) Miss Sloane (2/5)
117.(98) Zootopia (2.5/5)
116.(97) Ride Along 2 (2.5/5)
115.(96) The Secret Life of Pets (2.5/5)
114.(95) Storks (2.5/5)
113.(94) Miles Ahead (2.5/5)
112.(93) Swiss Army Man (2.5/5)
111.(92) The Meddler (2.5/5)
110.(91) Joshy (2.5/5)
109.(90) Passengers (2.5/5)
108.(new) Hidden Figures (2.5/5)
108.(new) Hidden Figures (2.5/5)
107.(new) Jason Bourne (2.5/5)
106.(88) Demolition (2.5/5)
105.(new) Blair Witch (2.5/5)
105.(new) Blair Witch (2.5/5)
104.(89) Mr.Right (2.5/5)
103.(new) Nine Lives (2.5/5)
102.(new) Florence Foster Jenkins (2.5/5)
101.(87) How to Be Single (2.5/5)
100.(86) Jane Got a Gun (2.5/5)
99.(85) Deepwater Horizon (3/5)
98.(84) The Conjuring 2 (3/5)
97.(83) Mechanic: Resurrection (3/5)
96.(82) Zoolander 2 (3/5)
95.(81) Star Trek Beyond (3/5)
94.(80) Gods of Egypt (3/5)
93.(79) Money Monster (3/5)
92.(78) Allegiant (3/5)
91.(57) Fences (3/5)
90.(77) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (3/5)
90.(77) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (3/5)
89.(76) London Has Fallen (3/5)
88.(75) Get a Job (3/5)
87.(74) Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (3/5)
86.(73) Morris From America (3/5)
85.(71) The Accountant (3/5)
84.(new) Keeping Up with the Joneses (3/5)
83.(70) Everybody Wants Some!! (3/5)
82.(72) La La Land (3/5)
81.(new) Masterminds (3/5)
80.(69) Eddie the Eagle (3/5)
79.(68) Fifty Shades of Black (3/5)
78.(67) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (3/5)
77.(new) Kevin Hart: What Now? (3.5/5)
76.(66) Patriots Day (3.5/5)
75.(65) Hunt for the Wilderpeople (3.5/5)
74.(64) Dirty Grandpa (3.5/5)
73.(63) The Do-Over (3.5/5)
72.(62) The Infiltrator (3.5/5)
71.(new) Gold (3.5/5)
71.(new) Gold (3.5/5)
70.(61) Ghostbusters (3.5/5)
69.(60) Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (3.5/5)
68.(59) Southside with You (3.5/5)
67.(58) Free State of Jones (3.5/5)
66.(56) Bleed for This (3.5/5)
65.(new) The Founder (3.5/5)
64.(55) Gleason (3.5/5)
64.(55) Gleason (3.5/5)
63.(54)Sing Street (3.5/5)
62.(53)Kung Fu Panda 3 (3.5/5)
61.(new) Why Him? (3.5/5)
62.(53)Kung Fu Panda 3 (3.5/5)
61.(new) Why Him? (3.5/5)
60.(new) 20th Century Women (3.5/5)
59.(new) Bad Santa 2 (3.5/5)
58.(40) Deadpool (3.5/5)
57.(new) Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk (3.5/5)
46.(46) Barbershop: The Next Cut (3.5/5)
45.(42) Moonlight (3.5/5)
56.(new) Hands of Stone (3.5/5)
55.(52) The Edge of Seventeen (3.5/5)
54.(44) Captain America: Civil War (3.5/5)
53.(47) Nocturnal Animals (3.5/5)
52.(50) The Witch (3.5/5)
51.(48) Bad Moms (3.5/5)
48.(51) The Shallows (3.5/5)
47.(49) Lights Out (3.5/5)52.(50) The Witch (3.5/5)
51.(48) Bad Moms (3.5/5)
50.(45)The Birth of a Nation (3.5/5)
49.(43) Office Christmas Party (3.5/5)48.(51) The Shallows (3.5/5)
46.(46) Barbershop: The Next Cut (3.5/5)
45.(42) Moonlight (3.5/5)
44.(41) The Brothers Grimsby (3.5/5)
43.(new) The Handmaiden (3.5/5)
42.(38) War Dogs (3.5/5)
41.(39) Eye in the Sky (3.5/5)
40.(new) The Greasy Strangler (3.5/5)
39.(37) Blood Father (3.5/5)
38.(35) Triple 9 (3.5/5)
39.(37) Blood Father (3.5/5)
38.(35) Triple 9 (3.5/5)
37.(36) Cafe Society (3.5/5)
36.(34) Finding Dory (3.5/5)
36.(34) Finding Dory (3.5/5)
35.(33) The Fundamentals of Caring (3.5/5)
34.(32) Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (4/5)
33.(31) Race (4/5)
32.(29) Live by Night (4/5)
31.(30) Snowden (4/5)
30.(28) Don't Breathe (4/5)
29.(27) The Hollars (4/5)
30.(28) Don't Breathe (4/5)
29.(27) The Hollars (4/5)
28.(26) Nerve (4/5)
27.(25) Suicide Squad (4/5)
26.(24) The Purge: Election Year (4/5)
25.(23) Mascots (4/5)
24.(22) Sully (4/5)
23.(21) Central Intelligence (4/5)
22.(20) X-Men: Apocalypse (4/5)
21.(19) 13th (4/5)
20.(18) The Girl on the Train (4/5)
20.(18) The Girl on the Train (4/5)
19.(new) Jackie (4/5)
18.(17) Weiner (4/5)
17.(16) Other People (4/5)
16.(new) Doctor Strange (4/5)
15.(15) Hacksaw Ridge (4/5)
15.(15) Hacksaw Ridge (4/5)
14.(14) Hardcore Henry (4/5)
13.(13) Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (4/5)
12.(12) Hell or High Water (4/5)
11.(11) Now You See Me 2 (4/5)
11.(11) Now You See Me 2 (4/5)
10.(10) Arrival (4/5)
9.(9) 10 Cloverfield Lane (4/5)
8.(8) Sausage Party (4/5)
7.(7) Keanu (4/5)
6.(6) The Magnificent Seven (4/5)
5.(5) Don't Think Twice (4/5)
4.(4) Green Room (4.5/5)
3.(3) Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (4.5/5)
2.(2) The Nice Guys (4.5/5)4.(4) Green Room (4.5/5)
3.(3) Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (4.5/5)
1.(1) Manchester by the Sea (4.5/5)
Monday, August 7, 2017
The Best and Worst of Bobby Cannavale
The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an
actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I
take a look at the filmography of "The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature" star Bobby Cannavale
Films starring Bobby Cannavale that I've seen:
The Station Agent
Snakes on a Plane
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
The Other Guys
Win Win
Movie 43
Parker
Lovelace
Blue Jasmine
Chef
Danny Collins
Adult Beginners
Spy
Ant-Man
Daddy's Home
The Fundamentals of Caring
Best Performance: The Station Agent (2003)
Since the bulk of Cannavale's most acclaimed performances have come on the small screen (Boardwalk Empire, Nurse Jackie, Will & Grace, Vinyl), his film work has gotten unfairly slept on over the course of his career. The beloved 47-year old character actor has showcased his versatility with a number of terrific performances in indie dramas (Blue Jasmine, Danny Collins), goofy comedies (Daddy's Home, Spy) and even an absurd B-movie classic (Snakes on a Plane). Despite the near-constant success he has in the roles he takes on in both mediums, Cannavale's career-defining performance (and arguably the reason he got an opportunity to star in so many quality TV shows) came in Tom McCarthy's The Station Agent. In this understated film that focuses on a group of small town New Jersey loners (Cannavale, Peter Dinklage, Patricia Clarkson) brought together by coincidence, Cannavale's genuine, unwavering warmth serves as the catalyst for the formation of the unlikely bond that emerges between the protagonists and helps make The Station Agent an incredibly moving watch.
Worst Performance: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)
I genuinely don't think Paul Blart: Mall Cop is that bad of a movie, but by God does Cannavale suck in it. Cannavale's "hey look I'm an adult bully" routine becomes grating within the first 30 seconds he appears on screen and made me wish they gave more screen time to Mike F'n Vallely.
Best Film: Blue Jasmine (2013)
With the erratic quality of his recent output, the question of whether or not writer/director Woody Allen is past his prime has gained some traction among hardcore movie nerds. He's been releasing almost a movie year since 1969 and at age 81, it's not a stretch to say that his storytelling is starting to get stale. In my eyes, movies like Blue Jasmine prove that the film icon is still capable of creating cinematic magic in his twilight years. Anchored by an unbelievable performance from Cate Blanchett, this clever, often darkly funny character study addresses the "hardships" that occur when someone from high society is suddenly forced to assimilate back to normal life. The denial, delusion and pettiness Blanchett's character displays as she interacts with the people around her is stunning to behold and the script is full of the type of biting observational brilliance that only Allen can pull of.
Worst Film: Movie 43 (2013)
The time has come for me to once again trash this misguided anthology comedy. How the Farrelly Brothers and producer Charles Wessler were able to coerce so many talented actors (seven Academy Award nominees and three winners appeared in the film's 14 sketches) into appearing in such a sophomoric, unfunny and just generally poorly-made movie is a mystery too perplexing to ever be solved.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Logan Lucky" star Daniel Craig.
Films starring Bobby Cannavale that I've seen:
The Station Agent
Snakes on a Plane
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
The Other Guys
Win Win
Movie 43
Parker
Lovelace
Blue Jasmine
Chef
Danny Collins
Adult Beginners
Spy
Ant-Man
Daddy's Home
The Fundamentals of Caring
Best Performance: The Station Agent (2003)
Since the bulk of Cannavale's most acclaimed performances have come on the small screen (Boardwalk Empire, Nurse Jackie, Will & Grace, Vinyl), his film work has gotten unfairly slept on over the course of his career. The beloved 47-year old character actor has showcased his versatility with a number of terrific performances in indie dramas (Blue Jasmine, Danny Collins), goofy comedies (Daddy's Home, Spy) and even an absurd B-movie classic (Snakes on a Plane). Despite the near-constant success he has in the roles he takes on in both mediums, Cannavale's career-defining performance (and arguably the reason he got an opportunity to star in so many quality TV shows) came in Tom McCarthy's The Station Agent. In this understated film that focuses on a group of small town New Jersey loners (Cannavale, Peter Dinklage, Patricia Clarkson) brought together by coincidence, Cannavale's genuine, unwavering warmth serves as the catalyst for the formation of the unlikely bond that emerges between the protagonists and helps make The Station Agent an incredibly moving watch.
Worst Performance: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)
I genuinely don't think Paul Blart: Mall Cop is that bad of a movie, but by God does Cannavale suck in it. Cannavale's "hey look I'm an adult bully" routine becomes grating within the first 30 seconds he appears on screen and made me wish they gave more screen time to Mike F'n Vallely.
Best Film: Blue Jasmine (2013)
With the erratic quality of his recent output, the question of whether or not writer/director Woody Allen is past his prime has gained some traction among hardcore movie nerds. He's been releasing almost a movie year since 1969 and at age 81, it's not a stretch to say that his storytelling is starting to get stale. In my eyes, movies like Blue Jasmine prove that the film icon is still capable of creating cinematic magic in his twilight years. Anchored by an unbelievable performance from Cate Blanchett, this clever, often darkly funny character study addresses the "hardships" that occur when someone from high society is suddenly forced to assimilate back to normal life. The denial, delusion and pettiness Blanchett's character displays as she interacts with the people around her is stunning to behold and the script is full of the type of biting observational brilliance that only Allen can pull of.
Worst Film: Movie 43 (2013)
The time has come for me to once again trash this misguided anthology comedy. How the Farrelly Brothers and producer Charles Wessler were able to coerce so many talented actors (seven Academy Award nominees and three winners appeared in the film's 14 sketches) into appearing in such a sophomoric, unfunny and just generally poorly-made movie is a mystery too perplexing to ever be solved.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "Logan Lucky" star Daniel Craig.
Thursday, August 3, 2017
2017 NFL Preview: AFC North
Baltimore Ravens
2016 Record: 8-8 (2nd in AFC North)
Head Coach: John Harbaugh (10th season)
Notable Additions: S Tony Jefferson, WR Jeremy Maclin, CB Brandon Carr
Notable Departures: WR Steve Smith Sr. (retired), TE Dennis Pitta (retired), T Ricky Wagner
-If Joe Flacco's back injury proves to be more serious than advertised, this team is going to be in bring trouble. Current backup Ryan Mallet is an inaccurate, turnover-prone clown with the temperament of an 8-year old that's constantly whining when things don't go his way can not be counted on to win games in any situation where the team isn't playing the Jets, Bears, 49ers or Browns. Outside of Mallett, the team's QB depth chart is rounded out by the ragtag duo of Dustin Vaughn and Josh Woodrum, who have played for a combined total of 7 teams over the past 2 seasons. I've seen Pop Warner teams with more trustworthy options under center. Scumbag owner Steve Biscotti would be wise to drop his bullshit political facade and allow the team to sign Colin Kaepernick, so they can at least have 1 semi-competent backup stashed on the roster in case Flacco isn't available to start the season.
-The Ravens 5-year quest to assemble a competent secondary might finally be complete. After seeing steady improvement in 2016 following the addition of All-Pro safety Eric Weddle and strong play from rookie slot corner Tavon Young, the Ravens went out and further solidified the group by adding safety Tony Jefferson and cornerback Brandon Carr in free agency. Jefferson is an elite run-stuffing free safety that is on the cusp of entering his prime while Carr bounced back nicely in 2016 from a couple of so-so years with the Cowboys and gives the team a reliable veteran corner to put alongside the talented yet oft-injured Jimmy Smith. The team also further bolstered their depth by selecting cornerback Marlon Humphrey in the 1st round of the draft, although the zone coverage specialist likely won't pick up a ton of reps right away. Even with Young sidelined with a torn ACL, there's enough talent present for this unit to be at least a top 10 pass defense in 2017.
-Of course as soon as the Ravens put together a secondary that could actually be formidable, their long-stalwart offensive line suddenly goes down the toilet. They lost tackle Ricky Wagner in free agency to the Lions, dealt center Jeremy Zuttah to the 49ers for a late-round draft pick and guard John Urschel,who was projected to start at center in 2017, unexpectedly retired a few days before training camp started. The hits kept coming once training camp opened and rookie guard Nico Siragusa tore 3 major ligaments (ACL, PCL and MCL) in his knee. When you breakdown the resumes of the men that are left standing, you don't exactly get a warm fuzzy feeling about the prospects for the 3 starting vacancies that are currently up for grabs. 2nd-year guard Alex Lewis struggled mightily as a rookie, center Ryan Jensen has been below average in his 9 career starts spread out over the past 4 seasons, tackle De'Ondre Wesley has never started a game in the NFL, guard/tackle Jermaine Eluemunor is a raw rookie that doesn't appear to be anywhere near ready to handle meaningful snaps at the professional level and James Hurst has graded out as one of the worst tackles in football since he entered the league in 2014. Future Hall-of-Fame guard Marshal Yanda and promising 2nd-year tackle Ronnie Stanley should be able to keep things from completely falling apart, but this is undoubtedly the most talent-deprived offensive line the Ravens have had in recent memory.
-With Steve Smith Sr. and Dennis Pitta retiring this offseason, the already sketchy Ravens receiving corps managed to get even weaker. When journeyman Mike Wallace is your de facto top option in the passing game, you know you're in deep shit. To be fair, Wallace played his best football since 2011 (72 REC, 1,044 YDS, 4 TD) and looked a lot better than any of the other deadbeats that lined up alongside him last season (fragile, butter-fingered deep threat Bershad Perriman, former Seahawks Super Bowl standout Chris Matthews, new Indianapolis Colt Kamar Aiken, a couple of other future Arena Leaguers), but he's way too erratic and deep-ball dependent to be a legit top wideout in the league. The one glimmer of hopes this group has for improvement this season comes in the form of Jeremy Maclin. Maclin is coming off an underwhelming, injury-shortened 2016 campaign with the Chiefs, but the 29-year old is just 2 years removed from 1,088 YD, 8 TD season and could go off in a much more pass-happy offense than the one he spent the past 2 years playing in. However, if Maclin can't get his mojo back, this squad will more than likely have the exact same wonky passing attack they had a year ago.
Bottom Line:
The Ravens are neither bad enough to have to consider rebuilding or good enough to be serious contenders, which should be enough to put them in Wild Card contention in the very weak AFC.
-If Joe Flacco's back injury proves to be more serious than advertised, this team is going to be in bring trouble. Current backup Ryan Mallet is an inaccurate, turnover-prone clown with the temperament of an 8-year old that's constantly whining when things don't go his way can not be counted on to win games in any situation where the team isn't playing the Jets, Bears, 49ers or Browns. Outside of Mallett, the team's QB depth chart is rounded out by the ragtag duo of Dustin Vaughn and Josh Woodrum, who have played for a combined total of 7 teams over the past 2 seasons. I've seen Pop Warner teams with more trustworthy options under center. Scumbag owner Steve Biscotti would be wise to drop his bullshit political facade and allow the team to sign Colin Kaepernick, so they can at least have 1 semi-competent backup stashed on the roster in case Flacco isn't available to start the season.
-The Ravens 5-year quest to assemble a competent secondary might finally be complete. After seeing steady improvement in 2016 following the addition of All-Pro safety Eric Weddle and strong play from rookie slot corner Tavon Young, the Ravens went out and further solidified the group by adding safety Tony Jefferson and cornerback Brandon Carr in free agency. Jefferson is an elite run-stuffing free safety that is on the cusp of entering his prime while Carr bounced back nicely in 2016 from a couple of so-so years with the Cowboys and gives the team a reliable veteran corner to put alongside the talented yet oft-injured Jimmy Smith. The team also further bolstered their depth by selecting cornerback Marlon Humphrey in the 1st round of the draft, although the zone coverage specialist likely won't pick up a ton of reps right away. Even with Young sidelined with a torn ACL, there's enough talent present for this unit to be at least a top 10 pass defense in 2017.
-Of course as soon as the Ravens put together a secondary that could actually be formidable, their long-stalwart offensive line suddenly goes down the toilet. They lost tackle Ricky Wagner in free agency to the Lions, dealt center Jeremy Zuttah to the 49ers for a late-round draft pick and guard John Urschel,who was projected to start at center in 2017, unexpectedly retired a few days before training camp started. The hits kept coming once training camp opened and rookie guard Nico Siragusa tore 3 major ligaments (ACL, PCL and MCL) in his knee. When you breakdown the resumes of the men that are left standing, you don't exactly get a warm fuzzy feeling about the prospects for the 3 starting vacancies that are currently up for grabs. 2nd-year guard Alex Lewis struggled mightily as a rookie, center Ryan Jensen has been below average in his 9 career starts spread out over the past 4 seasons, tackle De'Ondre Wesley has never started a game in the NFL, guard/tackle Jermaine Eluemunor is a raw rookie that doesn't appear to be anywhere near ready to handle meaningful snaps at the professional level and James Hurst has graded out as one of the worst tackles in football since he entered the league in 2014. Future Hall-of-Fame guard Marshal Yanda and promising 2nd-year tackle Ronnie Stanley should be able to keep things from completely falling apart, but this is undoubtedly the most talent-deprived offensive line the Ravens have had in recent memory.
-With Steve Smith Sr. and Dennis Pitta retiring this offseason, the already sketchy Ravens receiving corps managed to get even weaker. When journeyman Mike Wallace is your de facto top option in the passing game, you know you're in deep shit. To be fair, Wallace played his best football since 2011 (72 REC, 1,044 YDS, 4 TD) and looked a lot better than any of the other deadbeats that lined up alongside him last season (fragile, butter-fingered deep threat Bershad Perriman, former Seahawks Super Bowl standout Chris Matthews, new Indianapolis Colt Kamar Aiken, a couple of other future Arena Leaguers), but he's way too erratic and deep-ball dependent to be a legit top wideout in the league. The one glimmer of hopes this group has for improvement this season comes in the form of Jeremy Maclin. Maclin is coming off an underwhelming, injury-shortened 2016 campaign with the Chiefs, but the 29-year old is just 2 years removed from 1,088 YD, 8 TD season and could go off in a much more pass-happy offense than the one he spent the past 2 years playing in. However, if Maclin can't get his mojo back, this squad will more than likely have the exact same wonky passing attack they had a year ago.
Bottom Line:
The Ravens are neither bad enough to have to consider rebuilding or good enough to be serious contenders, which should be enough to put them in Wild Card contention in the very weak AFC.
Cincinnati Bengals
2016 Record: 6-9-1 (3rd in AFC North)
Head Coach: Marvin Lewis (15th season)
Notable Additions: G/T Andre Smith, ILB Kevin Minter, CB Bene Benwikere
Notable Departures: T Andrew Whitworth, G Kevin Zeitler, ILB Karlos Dansby
-The Bengals offensive line, which has been excellent for the last 4 or 5 years was dealt a huge blow this offseason when left tackle Andrew Whitworth and right guard Kevin Zeitler left in free agency. Whitworth and Zeitler were among the most reliable players in the league at their respective positions and their consistently strong play established this unit as a force to be reckoned with, particularly in pass-protection, for much of the past 5 years. The organization's decision to move on from a pair of elite offensive lineman has turned one of their longtime strengths into a potentially massive weakness. New starting left tackle Cedric Ogbuehi and right guard Andre Smith are exactly the type of guys you don't want to rely onto start (raw young player and over-the-hill veteran that has no business starting respectively) and none of the 3 incumbent starters (center Russell Bodine, left guard Clint Boling, right tackle Eric Winston) are good enough to make up for the severe deficiencies their new linemates bring to the table. I'd recommend quarterback Andy Dalton and whatever running back they're planning on working into oblivion this season to start praying to whatever God they believe in because this offensive line is going to need some grand-scale divine intervention to be even half as good as they've been in recent years.
-After trying to establish Brandon LaFell as their number 2 receiver with pretty middling results a season ago, the Bengals went out and attempted to beef up their receiving corps by using the number 8 overall pick on Washington product John Ross. While Ross' injury history is frightening, his absurd absurd speed combined with underrated route-running ability makes him a potentially excellent complement to franchise cornerstone A.J. Green. If he can stay healthy and gel with Dalton early on, Ross could emerge as a dark horse offensive Rookie of the Year candidate.
-Despite their respectable points against total (20.3, 9th in the league) a year ago, this defense isn't scaring anyone. They weren't particularly great in either facet of the game in 2016 (16th against the pass, 20th against the rush) and unless new starting inside linebacker Kevin Minter or 2nd-year corner William Jackson III-who missed all of 2016 with a torn pectoral muscle- greatly exceed their expectations, there's no reason to believe they'll improve in 2017. While defensive coordinator Paul Gunther could be partially to blame, I think the front office has put this unit in a position to underwhelm. The failure of their recent young draft picks (Darqueze Dennard, Will Clarke, Paul Dawson, Margus Hunt-who is now with the Colts) has forced the team to thrust ineffective veterans (Pat Sims, Michael Johnson, Dre Kirkpatrick) into starting roles, outside linebacker Vontaze Burfict is an unhinged, suspension waiting to happen that can't produce on a consistent basis and worst of all, the team has spent a ton of money re-signing guys that should've been handed their walking papers years ago (Kirkpatrick, Adam Jones, Johnson, who did leave only to came right back after a horrible 1-year stint with the Bucs). While the presence of reliable performers like Carlos Dunlap, Geno Atkins and Vincent Rey will prevent this unit from full-blown collapsing, owner/GM/failed Jerry Jones wannabe Mike Bown has done a horrific job assembling this defense and I believe his years of gross incompetence as a talent evaluator are finally catching up with him, which is subsequently causing this team to fall into a slow, steady downward spiral.
-If the Bengals miss the playoffs this year (which is highly probable), they have to pull the plug on Marvin Lewis. Lewis has been a decent coach that has strung together some impressive seasons (they've made 7 playoff appearances, earned 4 division titles and won 10+ games 6 times since he arrived in 2003) for this long-suffering franchise, but he's been unable to guide them to a single playoff win in 14 years on the job and his laid-back temperament has led to near-constant discipline issues on-and-off the field. Lewis' tenure in Cincinnati has been defined by blowing chances to win big games and I think Brown would be absolutely insane to give him a shot to redeem himself for the umpteenth time if hey can't end their prolonged streak of playoff futility this season.
Bottom Line:
With a suddenly hole-filled offensive line and an aging, increasingly mediocre defense, the Bengals are a mortal lock to have another below average season.
-The Bengals offensive line, which has been excellent for the last 4 or 5 years was dealt a huge blow this offseason when left tackle Andrew Whitworth and right guard Kevin Zeitler left in free agency. Whitworth and Zeitler were among the most reliable players in the league at their respective positions and their consistently strong play established this unit as a force to be reckoned with, particularly in pass-protection, for much of the past 5 years. The organization's decision to move on from a pair of elite offensive lineman has turned one of their longtime strengths into a potentially massive weakness. New starting left tackle Cedric Ogbuehi and right guard Andre Smith are exactly the type of guys you don't want to rely onto start (raw young player and over-the-hill veteran that has no business starting respectively) and none of the 3 incumbent starters (center Russell Bodine, left guard Clint Boling, right tackle Eric Winston) are good enough to make up for the severe deficiencies their new linemates bring to the table. I'd recommend quarterback Andy Dalton and whatever running back they're planning on working into oblivion this season to start praying to whatever God they believe in because this offensive line is going to need some grand-scale divine intervention to be even half as good as they've been in recent years.
-After trying to establish Brandon LaFell as their number 2 receiver with pretty middling results a season ago, the Bengals went out and attempted to beef up their receiving corps by using the number 8 overall pick on Washington product John Ross. While Ross' injury history is frightening, his absurd absurd speed combined with underrated route-running ability makes him a potentially excellent complement to franchise cornerstone A.J. Green. If he can stay healthy and gel with Dalton early on, Ross could emerge as a dark horse offensive Rookie of the Year candidate.
-Despite their respectable points against total (20.3, 9th in the league) a year ago, this defense isn't scaring anyone. They weren't particularly great in either facet of the game in 2016 (16th against the pass, 20th against the rush) and unless new starting inside linebacker Kevin Minter or 2nd-year corner William Jackson III-who missed all of 2016 with a torn pectoral muscle- greatly exceed their expectations, there's no reason to believe they'll improve in 2017. While defensive coordinator Paul Gunther could be partially to blame, I think the front office has put this unit in a position to underwhelm. The failure of their recent young draft picks (Darqueze Dennard, Will Clarke, Paul Dawson, Margus Hunt-who is now with the Colts) has forced the team to thrust ineffective veterans (Pat Sims, Michael Johnson, Dre Kirkpatrick) into starting roles, outside linebacker Vontaze Burfict is an unhinged, suspension waiting to happen that can't produce on a consistent basis and worst of all, the team has spent a ton of money re-signing guys that should've been handed their walking papers years ago (Kirkpatrick, Adam Jones, Johnson, who did leave only to came right back after a horrible 1-year stint with the Bucs). While the presence of reliable performers like Carlos Dunlap, Geno Atkins and Vincent Rey will prevent this unit from full-blown collapsing, owner/GM/failed Jerry Jones wannabe Mike Bown has done a horrific job assembling this defense and I believe his years of gross incompetence as a talent evaluator are finally catching up with him, which is subsequently causing this team to fall into a slow, steady downward spiral.
-If the Bengals miss the playoffs this year (which is highly probable), they have to pull the plug on Marvin Lewis. Lewis has been a decent coach that has strung together some impressive seasons (they've made 7 playoff appearances, earned 4 division titles and won 10+ games 6 times since he arrived in 2003) for this long-suffering franchise, but he's been unable to guide them to a single playoff win in 14 years on the job and his laid-back temperament has led to near-constant discipline issues on-and-off the field. Lewis' tenure in Cincinnati has been defined by blowing chances to win big games and I think Brown would be absolutely insane to give him a shot to redeem himself for the umpteenth time if hey can't end their prolonged streak of playoff futility this season.
Bottom Line:
With a suddenly hole-filled offensive line and an aging, increasingly mediocre defense, the Bengals are a mortal lock to have another below average season.
Cleveland Browns
2016 Record: 1-15 (4th in AFC North)
Head Coach: Hue Jackson (2nd season)
Notable Additions: G Kevin Zeitler, C JC Tretter, QB Brock Osweiler
Notable Departures: WR Terrelle Pryor, QB Robert Griffin III, ILB Demario Davis
-I don't know if you've heard, but the Cleveland Browns are MAKING MOVES. General manager Sachi Brown and his Harvard-educated constitutes in the front office earned high praise from seemingly every person on the planet that pays attention to football for their bountiful offseason haul. The team invested heavily in the offensive line by bringing in Kevin Zeitler and center JC Tretter, and signing promising young guard Joel Bitonio to a 5-year, $50 mil extension, used their stash of draft picks to select 3 highly-touted prospects in the 1st round (edge-rushing phenom Myles Garrett, hyper-athletic gadget player Jabril Peppers and pass-catching tight end David Njoku) and managed to pick up yet another future 2nd-round pick from the Texans for the luxury of taking on quarterback Brock Osweiler's insane contract for at least this season. It remains to be seen if this abundance of assets are going to materialize into anything game-changing, but this long-embattled organization does deserve some credit for at least appearing to have a vision for the future.
- The Browns made a wise decision by not jumping the gun and overdrafting a quarterback in a shaky class just for the hell of it this season. Unfortunately for their fanbase, this intelligent restraint puts them in yet another "pick your poison" QB situation for the 2017 season. Likely starter Osweiler was unsurprisingly awful (2,957 YDS, 15 TD, 16 INT, 59.0 CMP% in 15 games) with the Texans last season and with a well below average receiving corps that's headlined by free-agent pickup Kenny Britt and 2nd-year wideout Corey Coleman, it's unlikely he'll fare any better with the Browns. If Osweiler struggles early on, I won't be shocked if the Browns pulled him for one of their younger options. Cody Kessler was at least efficient when he wasn't getting concussed last season and despite rookie DeShone Kizer's crippling flaws with accuracy, his tremendous athleticism and success throwing under pressure while he was at Notre Dame makes him an intriguing project for a team like the Browns to take on. With a quarterback situation this unsettled and a very good offensive line that has the talent to bully opposing front 7's, I'd expect a heavy dose of running back Isaiah Crowell this season.
-As I mentioned above, 2017 seems like it's going to be a huge year for Crowell. Zeitler and Tretter are the type of lane-opening bruisers that can elevate a team's running game right away and with last year's backup RB Duke Johnson Jr. reportedly getting transitioned to a slot receiver role this season, head coach Hue Jackson seems fully committed to the 24-year old as a workhorse back. The bursts of brilliance have been there (he's ran for 120+ YDS 4 times in the past 2 seasons) in the past, but now that he finally has a strong offensive line in front of him and a solid chance of receiving heavy volume, Crowell seem poised to break into the top-tier of the NFL's running back hierarchy.
-After getting shockingly dealt by the Patriots a few hours before the trade deadline ended last October, outside linebacker Jamie Collins struggled to make much of an impact for his new team. While he posted 62 tackles and 2 sacks in his 8 games with the Browns, he was terrible in pass coverage and rarely flashed the inhuman burst that made him a disruptive menace during his tenure in New England. Right now, Bill Belichick is looking like a genius for dumping Collins for pretty much nothing (the Patriots included the 3rd-round pick they got in exchange for Collins in the trade with the Saints for WR Brandin Cooks). However, the 27-year old former Pro Bowler has a great opportunity to make his old boss look stupid for giving up on him in 2017. New defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has put together some impressive front 7's during his 16 years as a shot-caller in the league and the 4-year/$50 mil contract they handed him this offseason proves the organization has faith in his ability to turn it around after a down year. The Browns currently lacks any proven veteran talent on defense (although nose tackle Danny Shelton, inside linebacker Christian Kirksey and cornerback Jamar Taylor did play well last year) and with a strong 2017 campaign, Collins could become the centerpiece this young, largely unproven group desperately needs.
Bottom Line:
No amount of praise for their offseason moves or long-term optimism is going to prevent the Browns from sucking in 2017.
-I don't know if you've heard, but the Cleveland Browns are MAKING MOVES. General manager Sachi Brown and his Harvard-educated constitutes in the front office earned high praise from seemingly every person on the planet that pays attention to football for their bountiful offseason haul. The team invested heavily in the offensive line by bringing in Kevin Zeitler and center JC Tretter, and signing promising young guard Joel Bitonio to a 5-year, $50 mil extension, used their stash of draft picks to select 3 highly-touted prospects in the 1st round (edge-rushing phenom Myles Garrett, hyper-athletic gadget player Jabril Peppers and pass-catching tight end David Njoku) and managed to pick up yet another future 2nd-round pick from the Texans for the luxury of taking on quarterback Brock Osweiler's insane contract for at least this season. It remains to be seen if this abundance of assets are going to materialize into anything game-changing, but this long-embattled organization does deserve some credit for at least appearing to have a vision for the future.
- The Browns made a wise decision by not jumping the gun and overdrafting a quarterback in a shaky class just for the hell of it this season. Unfortunately for their fanbase, this intelligent restraint puts them in yet another "pick your poison" QB situation for the 2017 season. Likely starter Osweiler was unsurprisingly awful (2,957 YDS, 15 TD, 16 INT, 59.0 CMP% in 15 games) with the Texans last season and with a well below average receiving corps that's headlined by free-agent pickup Kenny Britt and 2nd-year wideout Corey Coleman, it's unlikely he'll fare any better with the Browns. If Osweiler struggles early on, I won't be shocked if the Browns pulled him for one of their younger options. Cody Kessler was at least efficient when he wasn't getting concussed last season and despite rookie DeShone Kizer's crippling flaws with accuracy, his tremendous athleticism and success throwing under pressure while he was at Notre Dame makes him an intriguing project for a team like the Browns to take on. With a quarterback situation this unsettled and a very good offensive line that has the talent to bully opposing front 7's, I'd expect a heavy dose of running back Isaiah Crowell this season.
-As I mentioned above, 2017 seems like it's going to be a huge year for Crowell. Zeitler and Tretter are the type of lane-opening bruisers that can elevate a team's running game right away and with last year's backup RB Duke Johnson Jr. reportedly getting transitioned to a slot receiver role this season, head coach Hue Jackson seems fully committed to the 24-year old as a workhorse back. The bursts of brilliance have been there (he's ran for 120+ YDS 4 times in the past 2 seasons) in the past, but now that he finally has a strong offensive line in front of him and a solid chance of receiving heavy volume, Crowell seem poised to break into the top-tier of the NFL's running back hierarchy.
-After getting shockingly dealt by the Patriots a few hours before the trade deadline ended last October, outside linebacker Jamie Collins struggled to make much of an impact for his new team. While he posted 62 tackles and 2 sacks in his 8 games with the Browns, he was terrible in pass coverage and rarely flashed the inhuman burst that made him a disruptive menace during his tenure in New England. Right now, Bill Belichick is looking like a genius for dumping Collins for pretty much nothing (the Patriots included the 3rd-round pick they got in exchange for Collins in the trade with the Saints for WR Brandin Cooks). However, the 27-year old former Pro Bowler has a great opportunity to make his old boss look stupid for giving up on him in 2017. New defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has put together some impressive front 7's during his 16 years as a shot-caller in the league and the 4-year/$50 mil contract they handed him this offseason proves the organization has faith in his ability to turn it around after a down year. The Browns currently lacks any proven veteran talent on defense (although nose tackle Danny Shelton, inside linebacker Christian Kirksey and cornerback Jamar Taylor did play well last year) and with a strong 2017 campaign, Collins could become the centerpiece this young, largely unproven group desperately needs.
Bottom Line:
No amount of praise for their offseason moves or long-term optimism is going to prevent the Browns from sucking in 2017.
Pittsburgh Steelers
2016 Record: 11-5 (1st in AFC North)
Head Coach: Mike Tomlin (11th season)
Notable Additions: CB Coty Sensabaugh, DE Tyson Alualu, RB Knile Davis
Notable Departures: RB DeAngelo Williams, ILB Lawrence Timmons, TE LaDarius Green
-About the only negative thing you could say about the Steelers 7th-ranked offense in 2016 was their lack of a consistent number 2 receiver. Eli Rodgers, Markus Wheaton, Cobi Hamilton and Darius Heyward-Bey all had some standout moments, but couldn't provide the team with a secondary downfield receiving threat to put next to perennial All-Pro Antonio Brown. This issue has a good shot of being corrected in 2017. Martavis Bryant, who was suspended for the entire 2016 season after failing 3 drug tests in just over a year, was conditionally reinstated in April and should be able to return to this role in the starting lineup when the season kicks off in September. If Bryant fails to get reinstated before the season starts, Rodgers should be able to at least match his so-so production levels from a year ago (48 REC, 594 YDS, 3 TD) and 2nd-round pick JuJu Smith-Schuster should be to make up for some of the redzone mismatches that are missing when the former Clemson standout isn't on the field. The Steelers are even more deadly on offense when they multiple vertical threats in the lineup and if they want any shot of ending the Patriots reign of terror on the AFC, they're going to need someone to step into that role.
-With the team not electing to re-sign DeAngelo Williams this offseason, the backup running back competition is wide competition. While these suitors have the benefit of running behind one of the most dominant offensive lines in the league, none of them possess the efficiency and past history of success at the professional level that Williams brought to the table. Rookie James Connor is a power back that doesn't have great speed or pass-catching skills, newly-acquired Knile Davis is coming off a tumultuous 2016 campaign where he couldn't hold down a roster spot on a back-needy Packers squad and holdover Fitzgerald Toussaint is still one of the most hated men in Pittsburgh after he lost a fumble that cost the Black and Yellow a playoff game against the Broncos back in 2015. Star workhorse back Le'Veon Bell is currently holding out for a new contract and is all but guaranteed to miss time with an injury this season, so 1 of these guys will likely get some significant action at some point during the season, regardless of whether or not they're ready to handle a starting halfback's workload.
-If the Steelers are going to have any legitimate shot at winning a championship in 2017, their defense is going to need to make significant strides. Their secondary started to come together nicely last season with the emergence of Russ Cockrell as a solid outside corner and strong play of Artie Burns down the stretch, but their front 7 is still kind of a mess. 39-year old James Harrison is somehow still the best player the team has upfront and defensive end Cameron Heyward is the only consistent pass-rushing threat on the roster. This front's ability to make a much-needed leap forward is going to come down to the play of their young starters. While he's flashed plenty of athleticism and made some huge plays, inside linebacker Ryan Shazier has been an incredibly inconsistent tackler for all 3 years he's been in the league and outside linebacker Bud Dupree, who's been largely silent since he entered the league in 2015, desperately needs to flash the pass-rushing prowess and versatility he showed at Kentucky to shed the "bust" label that's been attached to his name after picking up a paltry 8.5 sacks in first 2 years in the league. The impact guys like Shazier, Burns, Dupree and rookie T.J. Watt make on a week-to-week basis is going to determine whether or not this team can finally break out of their long rut and field a talented, well-rounded defense for the 1st time since the peak of the Polamalu/Taylor/Timmons/Harrison-era.
Bottom Line:
With an elite offense, slightly above average defense and no visible attempts to break from their predictable personnel mold, the Steelers faithful can get excited for yet another blowout playoff loss to the Patriots in 2017.
-About the only negative thing you could say about the Steelers 7th-ranked offense in 2016 was their lack of a consistent number 2 receiver. Eli Rodgers, Markus Wheaton, Cobi Hamilton and Darius Heyward-Bey all had some standout moments, but couldn't provide the team with a secondary downfield receiving threat to put next to perennial All-Pro Antonio Brown. This issue has a good shot of being corrected in 2017. Martavis Bryant, who was suspended for the entire 2016 season after failing 3 drug tests in just over a year, was conditionally reinstated in April and should be able to return to this role in the starting lineup when the season kicks off in September. If Bryant fails to get reinstated before the season starts, Rodgers should be able to at least match his so-so production levels from a year ago (48 REC, 594 YDS, 3 TD) and 2nd-round pick JuJu Smith-Schuster should be to make up for some of the redzone mismatches that are missing when the former Clemson standout isn't on the field. The Steelers are even more deadly on offense when they multiple vertical threats in the lineup and if they want any shot of ending the Patriots reign of terror on the AFC, they're going to need someone to step into that role.
-With the team not electing to re-sign DeAngelo Williams this offseason, the backup running back competition is wide competition. While these suitors have the benefit of running behind one of the most dominant offensive lines in the league, none of them possess the efficiency and past history of success at the professional level that Williams brought to the table. Rookie James Connor is a power back that doesn't have great speed or pass-catching skills, newly-acquired Knile Davis is coming off a tumultuous 2016 campaign where he couldn't hold down a roster spot on a back-needy Packers squad and holdover Fitzgerald Toussaint is still one of the most hated men in Pittsburgh after he lost a fumble that cost the Black and Yellow a playoff game against the Broncos back in 2015. Star workhorse back Le'Veon Bell is currently holding out for a new contract and is all but guaranteed to miss time with an injury this season, so 1 of these guys will likely get some significant action at some point during the season, regardless of whether or not they're ready to handle a starting halfback's workload.
-If the Steelers are going to have any legitimate shot at winning a championship in 2017, their defense is going to need to make significant strides. Their secondary started to come together nicely last season with the emergence of Russ Cockrell as a solid outside corner and strong play of Artie Burns down the stretch, but their front 7 is still kind of a mess. 39-year old James Harrison is somehow still the best player the team has upfront and defensive end Cameron Heyward is the only consistent pass-rushing threat on the roster. This front's ability to make a much-needed leap forward is going to come down to the play of their young starters. While he's flashed plenty of athleticism and made some huge plays, inside linebacker Ryan Shazier has been an incredibly inconsistent tackler for all 3 years he's been in the league and outside linebacker Bud Dupree, who's been largely silent since he entered the league in 2015, desperately needs to flash the pass-rushing prowess and versatility he showed at Kentucky to shed the "bust" label that's been attached to his name after picking up a paltry 8.5 sacks in first 2 years in the league. The impact guys like Shazier, Burns, Dupree and rookie T.J. Watt make on a week-to-week basis is going to determine whether or not this team can finally break out of their long rut and field a talented, well-rounded defense for the 1st time since the peak of the Polamalu/Taylor/Timmons/Harrison-era.
Bottom Line:
With an elite offense, slightly above average defense and no visible attempts to break from their predictable personnel mold, the Steelers faithful can get excited for yet another blowout playoff loss to the Patriots in 2017.
Projected Standings
1.Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5)
2.Baltimore Ravens (7-9)
3.Cincinnati Bengals (6-10)
4.Cleveland Browns (4-12)
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
As We Proceed Episode #11
On the July episode of As We Proceed, Feliciano and I welcome special guest Jasz to discuss his musical journey thus far, the insanity of attending the Grammys as an up-and-coming artist and Vince Staples' new LP Big Fish Theory. You can check out this 2-part epic episode and Jasz's music below:
Soundcloud: Part 1: https://soundcloud.com/asweproceedpodcast/summertime-seventeen-part-one-with-special-guest-jasz
Part 2: https://soundcloud.com/asweproceedpodcast/summertime-seventeen-part-two-with-special-guest-jasz
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/as-we-proceed/id1122163104?mt=2
Jasz's Official Soundcloud page: https://soundcloud.com/jaszofficial
Soundcloud: Part 1: https://soundcloud.com/asweproceedpodcast/summertime-seventeen-part-one-with-special-guest-jasz
Part 2: https://soundcloud.com/asweproceedpodcast/summertime-seventeen-part-two-with-special-guest-jasz
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/as-we-proceed/id1122163104?mt=2
Jasz's Official Soundcloud page: https://soundcloud.com/jaszofficial
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
The Best and Worst of John Cho
The "Best and Worst" series profiles the best and worst work of an
actor starring in one of the week's new theatrical releases. This week I
take a look at the filmography of "Columbus" star John Cho.
Films starring John Cho that I've seen:
American Pie
American Pie 2
Down to Earth
Big Fat Liar
American Wedding
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
Star Trek
A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas
American Reunion
Total Recall
Identity Thief
Star Trek Into Darkness
Grandma
Get a Job
Star Trek Beyond
Best Performance: Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)
While Cho earned his fair share of laughs in the American Pie trilogy, he didn't really standout until he secured his first-ever leading role in the cult stoner comedy classic Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Cho's stern yet likable demeanor and electric chemistry with co-star Kal Penn made them one of the most believable, well-balanced best friend duos I've ever seen in a comedy.
Worst Performance: Total Recall (2012)
Cho is such a consistently pleasant screen presence that I have to dub a very small role in a decent yet pretty forgettable movie as his worst. I didn't buy him at all as the arrogant, crap-pedaling salesman for the titular memory-implanting corporation in the remake of the 1990 Arnold Schwarznegger sci-fi/action classic.
Best Film: Star Trek (2009)
With Zoe Saldana and Chris Pine being profiled here recently, the movie gods have forced me into situations where I have to repeatably praise the hell of this movie over the past few months. While I'll spare you from yet another expansive lovefest, I will say that this reboot of Star Trek is an elite film that contains (great action, fun tone, charismatic characters, engaging plot, solid jokes) everything I want of a blockbuster.
Worst Film: Identity Thief (2013)
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a pretty easily amused individual. There's not a whole lot of comedies that come along, especially of the R-rated variety, that I don't find at least somewhat enjoyable (for example: I liked widely-panned shit like Dirty Grandpa, That's My Boy and Let's Be Cops). Identity Thief is one of the rare exceptions to this rule. The usually great Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy are nothing short of insufferable in this lazy-ass road trip movie that is pretty much completely devoid of any funny dialogue or situations.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature" star Bobby Canavale.
Films starring John Cho that I've seen:
American Pie
American Pie 2
Down to Earth
Big Fat Liar
American Wedding
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
Star Trek
A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas
American Reunion
Total Recall
Identity Thief
Star Trek Into Darkness
Grandma
Get a Job
Star Trek Beyond
Best Performance: Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)
While Cho earned his fair share of laughs in the American Pie trilogy, he didn't really standout until he secured his first-ever leading role in the cult stoner comedy classic Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Cho's stern yet likable demeanor and electric chemistry with co-star Kal Penn made them one of the most believable, well-balanced best friend duos I've ever seen in a comedy.
Worst Performance: Total Recall (2012)
Cho is such a consistently pleasant screen presence that I have to dub a very small role in a decent yet pretty forgettable movie as his worst. I didn't buy him at all as the arrogant, crap-pedaling salesman for the titular memory-implanting corporation in the remake of the 1990 Arnold Schwarznegger sci-fi/action classic.
Best Film: Star Trek (2009)
With Zoe Saldana and Chris Pine being profiled here recently, the movie gods have forced me into situations where I have to repeatably praise the hell of this movie over the past few months. While I'll spare you from yet another expansive lovefest, I will say that this reboot of Star Trek is an elite film that contains (great action, fun tone, charismatic characters, engaging plot, solid jokes) everything I want of a blockbuster.
Worst Film: Identity Thief (2013)
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a pretty easily amused individual. There's not a whole lot of comedies that come along, especially of the R-rated variety, that I don't find at least somewhat enjoyable (for example: I liked widely-panned shit like Dirty Grandpa, That's My Boy and Let's Be Cops). Identity Thief is one of the rare exceptions to this rule. The usually great Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy are nothing short of insufferable in this lazy-ass road trip movie that is pretty much completely devoid of any funny dialogue or situations.
Thank you for reading this week's installment of "The Best and Worst of". Next week, I'll take a look at the best and worst work of "The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature" star Bobby Canavale.
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